Bittersweet Void
by Kitsuneforlife
Summary: No longer aware of Yuki's existence, Shuichi builds a successful music career. Without the domineering presence of the novelist, the singer develops into a mature young man. How will Yuki react to the change of his old lover?
1. Prologue

**Bittersweet Void**

I do not own Gravitation.

**Prologue**

Shuichi stood in front of the apartment that he and Yuki used to share before Yuki left for New York. He was frozen in place. It had been three months since he had last set foot into the place due to the fact that he was on tour. Now, here he stood, dreading the thought of entering the place. Yuki may or may not be home. Considering that it was night, Shuichi concluded that if Yuki wasn't home then he was still in New York.

He stared up at the large building and swallowed hard. He couldn't endure heartbreak from the blond haired novelist—not again. If he entered the building to find it void of Yuki, then his heart would definitely break.

He would not chase after Yuki anymore. He made that promise to himself when he followed him to New York. If Yuki didn't return home by the time that his tour was over, then he would give up on the older man. He didn't want to, but he knew that he needed to.

Shuichi sighed. He hated some of the things that Yuki did, but in the past he loved him too much to let him go. That had changed, though. With Yuki leaving and the Bad Luck tour, he had gone three months cold turkey, away from his biggest addiction.

Shuichi decided that if Yuki was home then he would continue their relationship, and if Yuki was not home then he would not. A lone tear rolled down his face at that thought.

He stared at the building a few moments longer before forcing himself to approach the door. He pulled out his key and proceeded inside. When he made it to his apartment door, he hesitantly opened it, closing his eyes as the door swung open. He let out a breath that he didn't know that he was holding. He stepped in and closed the door, opening his eyes.

Darkness stood before him. His hopeful demeanor changed into a hopeless one. Of course Yuki wasn't here. He turned to leave, but before he grabbed the door knob desperation washed over him. Maybe Yuki was here, just asleep.

He turned and ran to the bedroom with anticipation eating at him. He had to check before he gave up completely. He busted the door open and gasped at the sight before him.

There was no bed. He panicked. In denial, he ran out to the living room only to find that it was empty also. He ran around the whole apartment only to find that everything that had belonged to Yuki was gone.

The apartment was bare. Not only was there no evidence that Yuki even lived there, but there was no evidence of their time together. There wasn't any warmth left that used to make the place feel like home. There wasn't any love. It was nothing more than a cold, lonely building that held painful memories.

He immediately regretted his previous thoughts of leaving Yuki. Yuki was his breath, his sunshine. Without Yuki he would no longer be the person that he had become. He would no longer be Shuichi. He hated Yuki for abandoning him, but at the same time loved him.

Broken, Shuichi went on a rampage. He kicked and punched the walls with tears rolling down his cheeks. He had hoped that Yuki would be home. He wanted to be with Yuki, he couldn't deny it, but Yuki didn't want him… he never had. That is why he didn't return home from New York. He didn't want Shuichi

Hitting the wall wasn't extinguishing the heartache and realization, so eventually he gave up. He fell to the ground, curling into a ball with tears flowing freely. Yuki wasn't going to come back…

0-0

"Shuichi…? Shuichi!" Hiro yelled and shook his friend almost violently to wake him, "Shuichi you have got to wake up!"

The pink haired male grumbled something incoherently while curling into a tighter ball.

"Come on Shuichi! Get up!" Hiro tried to shake his friend once more. After a few attempts, Shuichi finally opened his eyes and sat up.

"How did you get here?" Shuichi asked groggily, his glassed over lavender eyes meeting Hiro's.

"I came to check on you. You didn't answer your phone or anything, and you left the door unlocked. What happened to you?" Hiro asked sitting next to his friend with his back against the wall, staring at him with worry.

"Yuki didn't come home…" Tears welled up in Shuichi's eyes as he started to shake with uncontrollable, silent sobs. His sobs soon turned into loud wails that echoed off the walls.

"Shu…I'm sorry," Hiro apologized with a downward glance. He hated to see his friend like this. He didn't know what to say or do in a situation like this. Shuichi always cried over Yuki, but never before had his pain been at such a high intensity.

Bitterness for Yuki began to build up within Hiro. No one made Shuichi cry and got away with it.

Hiro draped his arm around Shuichi's shoulder as a form of comfort. The younger male embraced Hiro, crying his heart out. Hiro stroked his unusually weird pink hair. They sat there for what seemed like hours. After a while, Shuichi had finally calmed down enough to stop wailing. Hiro sat there patient and sympathetic.

"He doesn't want me anymore," Shuichi whispered while sitting up, "I chased him away."

"Shu, what makes you say that?" Hiro asked, unsure of the right words to say.

"Think about it, if he wanted me he would be here right now. His stuff would still be here. He isn't coming back Hiro."

Hiro looked around the apartment at the last part. Indeed, the place was empty. He looked back at his friend with a sad expression. He was right.

"Hiro, he was my reason for everything. I woke up in the morning thinking of him. I went to bed with him on my mind. I succeeded in my music because of him. I pushed myself in my music to impress him. Don't you get it? I'm nothing without him," Shuichi said with more tears.

"That's not true…. Without Yuki, you are still you and will remain as Shuichi Shindo. Don't ever let yourself forget who you are. You succeeded in music because you are passionate about it. You had goals and dreams before you met Yuki. You wanted to surpass Ryuichi Sakuma. Please do not change who you are because of him," Hiro tried to comfort his friend.

Shuichi sniffled a few times while wiping at his tears. As much as he would like to deny what Hiro said, he couldn't. Music was his life, but Yuki was also. His life was void of his human love, but he couldn't abandon his music love. He still had half of a life. Could he only live a half existence?

"I want to get away from here. I never want to return to this place again," Shuichi whispered in the middle of standing.

Hiro stood and clasped his hand on the younger man's back. Without a backward glance he ushered Shuichi to the door.

"Hiro?" Shuichi asked in a bland voice that didn't belong to him.

"Yes, what is it?" The brown headed man prompted while leading Shuichi to his motorcycle.

"If you don't mind, can we go and get something to eat?" Shuichi asked. His stomach seemed to growl in agreement after the words left his lips.

Hiro looked down at his friend for a while then smiled. Hopefully Yuki didn't do too much damage that it would decrease Shuichi's massive appetite. He nodded, "Sure thing, Shu."

The ride to Zenny's was a quiet one. Hiro wasn't used to Shuichi being quiet, but he didn't want to say the wrong thing that would cause Shuichi to cry again.

When Hiro and Shuichi were seated inside of the restaurant, Hiro finally decided to break the unbearable silence.

"Say, Shu?" Hiro asked.

The pink haired man looked up into his friend's eyes. "Yes," he answered in the same bland voice he had used at the apartment.

"What about Bad Luck?" He asked hoping that he had chosen a safe subject.

Shuichi looked thoughtful, turning the question over in his head several times before answering. "I will not quit the band, if that is what you are asking. Hiro?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think that I will ever be able to forget?"

"Forget what? Yuki?" Hiro asked, puzzled.

"Yea," Shiuchi nodded, blinking back tears.

"Why would you want to do that?" Hiro asked. He was shocked to hear that coming from his friend.

"Because… he is not going to come back, I realize that now. I just don't know how I can live without the second half of my heart, so I want to forget all about him and focus solely on Bad Luck."

"You don't mean that…."

"Yes I do. Hiro, I can't have him. It's killing me. I just don't know what to do anymore!" Shuichi yelled, busting out with tears once again.

Hiro's heart constricted. He wanted nothing more than for Shuichi to stop crying. He wanted to erase the pain and heart ache that Yuki had inflicted on his best friend. He wished that Shuichi had never met Yuki, but he couldn't just undo the past, unless… "Shuichi, are you sure that you want to forget about Yuki?" Hiroshi asked with an idea.

Before Shuichi could adequately compose himself to answer, the food was delivered, causing his eyes to light up.

"_Maybe he isn't in as bad of a condition as I thought…I will give it a week before I act,"_ Hiro thought, smiling as his friend demolished his food.

0-0

Hiroshi looked at his nostalgic best friend and sighed. It had been a full week since they returned from tour, and Shuichi discovered that Yuki was still gone. That whole week Shuichi sat on the futon, isolated. He was not in tune with his surroundings, nor did barely eat or talk. He had called off work the whole week, feigning sick.

Hiro had never seen his friend this down for this long. He was afraid that Shuichi had fallen into depression.

He sighed and walked over to the pink head sitting down next to him. After about five minutes of an awkward silence, Hiro decided that this would end, now.

"Shuic—"

The door to his small apartment was kicked in with a thud. He turned to see the intruder and deadpanned at the sight of his American manager, K, who happened to be holding an AK-47.

"Shindo, you need to whip your ass into gear, or I will do it for you! Missing work for a whole week due to some unknown illness is inexcusable!" K yelled, taking aim at the pink hair boy.

Shuichi paid K no mind and continued to stare at nothing in particular. K growled in agitation, his finger itching to pull the trigger. Hiro saw the catastrophe about to unfold and intervened.

"_Eh_, Mr. K, lets talk about this," Hiroshi said jumping to his feet and pushing K out of the door. Surprisingly, K went without a struggle.

"Spit it out Hiroshi, what's wrong with Shuichi?" K asked, eyeing the guitarist expectantly.

"Shuichi is…depressed. Yuki didn't return from New York and Shuichi says that he wants to forget about him and focus on Bad Luck," Hiro explained.

K looked thoughtful as the information presented to him sunk it. "Maybe we could get a hypnotherapist to remove his memory of Yuki? He wont be depressed, and he wont have anything to worry about other than his music," K said while nodding. Hiro produced a flat look, causing K to laugh nervously.

"I don't care about his ability to sing and compose music. I care about his well-being. Ironically though, you read my mind. I was thinking of a hypnotherapist too, but I didn't know if it would work or not. What do you know about them?" Hiro asked.

"Well, it would not erase his memories of Yuki. It will only suppress them to the point where he won't consciously remember him. Sometimes it doesn't work, but it won't hurt to try…. Shuichi get your ass out here now!" K yelled, only to receive silence.

"Maybe you should let me get him. Wait, how are we supposed to get in touch with a hypnotist at such a short notice?" Hiro asked, causing K to break out in an evil laugh. Hiro dead panned once again. "You asked me what was wrong with Shuichi, yet you already knew, didn't you? Hiro asked in a dry voice causing K to laugh louder.

"My dear Hiroshi, what makes you say that," K said with a huge smile.

Hiro sighed and dryly muttered, "I wouldn't put anything past you."

K clapped him on the back and said with a cheery smile, "The van is waiting for you downstairs. If you two are not down in three, then I will come and get you…by any means necessary."

Hiro chuckled nervously and watched K walk off. When K was out of sight, Hiro entered his apartment and stood in front of Shuichi.

"Shu?" Hiro asked while looking at his distant friend. After a while of no response, Hiro put his hand on Shuichi's head. The vocalist jumped from the contact and began to look around wildly. Hiro smiled, "Cool it, it's only me. Say, I gotta question for ya."

"What is it?" Shuichi asked, refusing to meet Hiro's gaze.

"A week ago, did you really mean that you wanted to forget about Yuki?" Hiro asked, flinching slightly when Shuichi's purple eyes began to water. Hiro backed off slightly, preparing for the worst.

Shuichi wiped at quiet tears with the backs of his hands. Eventually, he was able to meet Hiro's eyes. Shuichi nodded his answered, unable to find his voice.

"You know there is no going back don't you?" Hiro asked, studying his friend closely, waiting for any indication that he didn't want to go through with forgetting Yuki. He found no hesitation, only resolve in his friend's purple eyes.

"I know," Shuichi whispered.

**Chapter End**

A/N: I hope you enjoyed the prologue. Reviews are welcomed and appreciated. Let me know what you think about the story so far.


	2. Chapter 1

**Bittersweet Void**

Here is chapter 1! I was super excited about all the publicity (hits, reviews, favorites, and alerts) that the prologue received, so it motivated me to hurry and get this chapter together. I hope you enjoy it.

I do not own Gravitation.

**Chapter One**

The cold breeze played throughout his blonde hair, causing Yuki to shiver and pull his coat around him tighter. He meandered through the nighttime streets of New York, unsure of his reasons, but he felt obligated to remain. He had already rediscovered his dark past, but something unknown was still holding him here. After remembering what happened with Kitazawa at the young age of sixteen, he should have left and went home to Japan. He didn't go home though because he needed more answers, he just couldn't decipher what he was looking for. He had unknown, unfinished business to take care of.

He walked on the cracked sidewalk, bypassing and ignoring a prostitute who called out to him to get his attention. With a shake of his head he continued, not even bothering to acknowledge her existence.

He was somewhat annoyed by the people's antics here. If it wasn't a thug trying to sell him drugs it was a whore trying to sell her body. It was his fault though; he _chose_ to remain in the bad side of town. Either way he wouldn't complain, it was refreshing opposed to the crazy obsessive fan girls in Japan. Here in New York he was a nobody—just your average person.

Yuki fished into his pockets, searching for his cigarettes. When he found them he put a cigarette in his mouth and pulled out his lighter. He paused in mid motion of opening the chrome lighter. On the side was a picture of him and Shuichi at Odaiba amusement park. The picture had been taken three months, one week, and two days ago. He sighed after a while of staring at the picture. Shuichi was so happy and carefree, probably still is. _"The light to my darkness."_ He shook the thought off, and opened the lid to his lighter, sparking his smoke.

He continued to walk, unsure of where his legs were carrying him. Nowadays they seemed to have a mind of their own, even when his mind was absent. He shrugged, trying to concentrate on his cigarette, it was better than thinking about the enigma that his life had become.

He now knew everything about his past that he had taken therapy and medication to forget. Oddly, now, it didn't affect him as it did in the past. He felt numb about the whole situation, so why did it seem that Kitazawa was still holding him back? There was an emptiness in him that would only grow with time. He should have been satisfied with his life, but he wasn't. He had everything that he could hope for: money, fame, and now mental content. Something was still missing.

He pitched his now finished cigarette onto the cement and stepped on it. He continued walking, detached from himself it seemed. After a while, he was brought back to earth when some one bumped into him. "Hey! Watch where you're going!" He looked to the voice only to see a man and woman walking away, holding hands. He stared longingly at the couple. After they disappeared around a corner, he shrugged the incident off and continued walking.

The next time he stopped was in front of a music store. The bright neon lights posted on the run-down, small building read _Music of the World. _Yuki sighed. He wasn't into music much, but he felt a strange urge to enter the store. After looking in through the window, sighting cds on numerous racks and cds lining the walls from the floor to the ceiling, he decided to go in.

A small bell rang as Yuki opened the glass door and stepped inside of the store. "Welcome to Music of the World. Here we have music from almost anywhere in the world. If you need help finding anything just let me know." He ignored the young female clerk's greeting and wandered over to the far corner that had a sign hanging from the ceiling with Japan on it.

Almost immediately, he spotted Bad Luck's CD: _Into Your_ _Gravity_. He picked it up idly and ran his fingers gentle across Shuichi's face. "Damn brat, look how far you've come," He said with a small smile.

"Excuse me, sir?" the clerk asked, coming to his side.

"Nothing," Yuki responded, putting the CD down, and walking out of the store.

To say that he felt empty would be an understatement. He felt incomplete, and looking at the CD didn't help. Could the answer that he was searching for in New York be in Japan? He cleared the thought from his head and continued without a set destination.

Within ten minutes, Yuki stopped. What seemed like the hundredth time since he been in New York, he found himself in the cemetery where Yuki Kitazawa laid. In habit, he walked over to the man's grave and stood there, staring at the tombstone. Slowly, but surely, Yuki had an epiphany.

Kitazawa was indeed holding him back. The dead man imprinted on his life, forcing him to not trust anyone, which in the end caused him to push the few people that were close to him away, including Shuichi. The reason he felt empty was because he had pushed Shuichi away. His better half had suffered because of Yuki Kitazawa. His eyes widened at the realization. He couldn't leave New York because he hadn't had closure with Kitazawa, and if he didn't the man would continue to ruin his life.

His undying anger for Kitazawa intensified ten fold. "You can go to hell, Yuki Kitazawa! No longer will you be the puppet master of me!" Yuki yelled before leaving the cemetery.

All because of Kitazawa, he lost years of joy and happiness. All because of Kitazawa, he had been traumatized. All because of Kitazawa, he may have ruined the best thing that ever happened to him. _"Shuichi…" _Yuki had to get home immediately. He hadn't heard from Shuichi since the day that he came to New York looking for him.

"_I've…I've finally found you, Yuki," Shuichi said breathlessly as he stood before Yuki panting._

"_How…Shuichi...how did you…how did you find me—" _

"_Shut up! That doesn't matter one bit now!" Shuichi yelled__,__ advancing on Yuki. "You disappeared without even letting me know!" The pink haired man finally stopped in front of Yuki and held his arm out. "See this?" Shuichi showed Yuki a paper with lyrics on it, "That time that… my lyrics that got blown by the wind. I finally finished writing the song. Look at it." _

_Yuki took the page from Shuichi. He stared for a while before saying opening his mouth. "_Hmph_… You're always like this. You never think about the other person, do you? I used to be like that too. That's how… I pushed Kitazawa into a corner… and how I killed him."_

_A few moments passed before Shuichi's voice broke the silence. "Don't be ridiculous…" Shuichi muttered, causing Yuki to make a surprised noise. "Don't be ridiculous!" Shuichi repeated, yelling this time. He placed his lips on Yuki's._ _"So what if I pressured you into a corner? Don't you think that you're gonna get away from me. You can run, or you can die, but I'll search for you and I'll find you. I'm never letting you get away from me," he said__.__ Yuki gave him a pointed look. "Why? Because I love you, Yuki!" _

That day Shuichi told him that he couldn't run or even die without pursuing him. If that was the case then where was Shuichi now? _Bad Luck_'s tour was over, and Yuki had meant to be home before then, but he didn't make the deadline. He had broken his promise. Still, shouldn't Shuichi have come for him already, or at least called? He wondered if everything with Shuichi was alright.

Yuki took out his cell phone and looked at it. It had been ages since the last time he actually used the thing, and he had forgotten he even had it. Having an obsessive sister and step brother who called you every five minutes could force a person to turn their phone off. Lately, he didn't even bother to look at the thing. He just put it on charge every night, just in case he needed it for an emergency.

He opened the small, black phone only to see that he had one hundred and fifty two missed calls, sixty four voicemail messages, and three hundred and two text messages. "Holy shit." His eye twitched in irritation. At that point intime, he wanted nothing more than to throw the damned thing under a bus, but he thought better of it. He began to look at all of the missed calls, wondering if any were from Shuichi. He frowned when he finally made it to the end and none where from his lover. That meant none of the voicemails would be from Shuichi either. He sighed and proceeded to check his texts. He almost gave up hope when he only saw messages from Touma and Mika, but instead he froze when he found one message that Shuichi sent two days ago.

_Touma was right, I should have stayed away from you._

_It doesn't matter now, however._

_It is already too late for me. _

_Goodbye…forever._

With tears in his eyes, Yuki hurriedly closed the message and dialed Shuichi's number. Every ring sent panic throughout his body. Surely he couldn't have committed suicide, could he? He was on the verge of a nervous breakdown when someone picked up on the other end.

"Hello?" a male voice said. It was too deep to be Shuichi's.

"Where the hell is Shuichi?" Yuki screamed into the phone, frantic.

"_Ah_…it's you. Heed my warning, don't ever call this phone again, and if you know what's good for you, you will stay in New York," the male threatened before hanging up.

Yuki tried calling the number again. After several rings, the voice that he longed to hear finally answered with a loud, obnoxious: "Well, hi…!"

"Shuichi, I-"

"-Sorry that I missed your call, but if you would leave your name and a brief mess-"

Yuki clicked his phone closed, hanging up. He couldn't bear to hear the rest of it. What if Shuichi did kill himself and whoever answered blamed him for it? Hell, if Shuichi did take his life he would blame himself, too. He shook his head in hopes of dispelling the thought. Shuichi is still alive… he had to be.

Yuki refused to give up. He took a few deep breathes to calm himself, and then opened his phone again. He dialed another number. After one ring, the unusually alarmed voice of the most annoying male answered.

"Eiri! Are you okay?" Touma Seguchi yelled into the phone, causing Yuki to flinch from the volume. "We've been calling and everything. Why didn't you pick up?"

"Can it, Seguchi. Shuichi left me a rather disturbing text message and you were mentioned in it. What the hell did you do to him?" Yuki yelled highly upset.

"What did I do to him? I didn't do anything," Touma answered in his usual innocent, eerie voice.

"Then why did he say that you told him to stay away from me?" Yuki yelled back, not believing Touma's lies.

"I told him that to protect _you_. Because of him, you fell ill. Because of him, you remembered your past. Because of him-"

"Bullshit! Shuichi didn't do anything wrong! You better not have done anything to him Seguchi! You hear me! Leave him alone! Everything that happened was all Kitazawa's fault! Leave Shuichi out of it! You had no business to go and tell him to stay away from me in the first place! I'm coming back for Shuichi, and if I find out that you did anything to Shu-"

"There is nothing to worry about, Eiri. Shuichi is fine," Touma interrupted in a calm voice. Yuki breathed a sigh of relief briefly before tensing up. Shuichi was alive, but something bad was going on, the text message said it all. He needed to get home, quick. "Eiri? Eiri?" Touma's voice stopped his thoughts.

"We are not finished with this conversation," Yuki said before hanging up on a still talking Touma.

He had more important problems to deal with, and Touma was on his shit list.

* * *

"Shindo, the president would like to see you," Mr. Sakano said as he barged into the recording studio causing the vocalist to walk away from the microphone that he was positioned at.

"Shu, what kind of trouble did you get yourself into this time?" Hiro asked turning to his best friend who was now standing beside him.

"Shit," K muttered under his breath, attracting Hiro's attention.

"I didn't do anything. I wonder why he wants me," Shuchi replied as he continued towards the door. Some one grabbed his shoulder from behind, making him stop.

"Don't worry about this, I'll take care of it," K said as he past the pink haired vocalist.

"Shindo…what did you do?" Mr. Sakano yelled after K left and closed the door.

"Honestly, Mr. Sakano, I don't know," Shuichi replied in a calm voice.

During the small talk, Hiro slipped out of the room undetected.

* * *

"Mr. K, wait up!" Hiro yelled, running up to the American who stopped and turned towards him.

"Yes, what is it, Nakano?" K questioned.

"That call that came through on Shuichi's cell, it was Yuki wasn't it?" Hiro asked when he caught up to the blonde.

"It was. Shuichi just underwent the hypnotization successfully, and he is already improving in his music. I'll be damned if I let Yuki ruin all of that now. You and I both know how tragic that call could have been. In just a day, we both have seen improvement. He doesn't even remember Yuki anymore," K said while walking; Hiro fell into step.

"I know; it's a good thing that you got to his phone before he did. What did you say to Yuki?" Hiro asked looking up at the taller man.

"I told him to stay away from Shindo."

"Which pissed him off and made him call Seguchi, and now Seguchi wants to blame Shuichi," Hiro said with a troubled expression.

"It seems that way. Five minutes haven't even passed since I hung up with Yuki and Seguchi suddenly wants Shindo out of the blue. Here, destroy this, will ya? Tell Shuichi that it's broken and he needs a new one, and a new number," K said. He then handed Hiro Shuichi's cell phone.

Hiro nodded and took the phone from K. "Good luck up there," Hiro said before turning and walking back towards the studio. Shuichi came out of the studio door.

"Hey man, what's up?" Hiro asked, raising his eyebrow at the vocalist.

"Going to the restroom," Shuichi replied, walking in the opposite direction of where K had previously headed. Hiro stared after him for some time before turning to open the studio door.

* * *

K opened the door to Touma's office without knocking, only to be met by Touma's phone conversation.

"No, he is alright... Yes, I'm about to get to the bottom of that now… No, you do not need to come up here, I can handle it… Yes, he is coming home… Ok, bye." Touma hung up the phone and looked at K with dismay.

"Mr. K, I believe that I asked Shindo to come, and quite frankly, you don't look like Shindo," Touma said in his calm, pure voice that held hidden venom.

"I have come to inform you about something," K said, walking up to take a seat. With an annoyed sigh, Touma nodded for K to continue.

"You win… Shuichi will no longer interfere with Yuki," K said playing it safe, even though he knew that is not what Seguchi wanted.

Touma glared at K and frowned, "Mr. K, I appreciate your efforts to try and protect your vocalist, but I'm afraid there is no lie that you can come up with to cover for his mistakes."

"I'm not lying. Yesterday, Hiroshi and I took him to a hypnotist, and as of yesterday, Shuichi doesn't even remember Yuki. I can get the official papers for how the procedure went and everything," K replied with a smirk as Touma's glare hardened.

"If that is true then why did I just receive a phone call from Eiri? Why did he say that Shuichi sent him a text message? Thanks to your vocalist, Eiri is upset," Touma said with a frown.

"If Shuichi did send him this message then it had to be before yesterday. Anyways I want Yuki to stay away from Shuichi, got that?" K said boldly.

"Before now I have agreed with that statement, but as of now, I disagree," Touma said, averting his gaze to his desk.

"You what?" K stood, slamming his hands on the desk.

"I disagree. Eiri is coming for Shuichi, and although I do not agree with their union, I will not deny Eiri anything. He was very upset with me for interfering with their relationship," Touma said, looking back up at K with defiance in his eyes.

K scowled at the other man. "There is no way that I am allowing Yuki to mess up Shuichi's new mindset. In just one day, so far, Shuichi has written and recorded two songs. With this type of acceleration he will be on top of the world in less than a year, give or take."

"I'm afraid that you have no choice."

"We will just see about that," K growled.

"I assure you, Mr. K, that if you do anything that causes Eiri displeasure, I will personally myself guarantee that you are unable to do so again," Touma said with a smile that caused K to shiver.

"Is that a threat?" K said with menace laced into his voice.

"Take it which ever way that like. You shouldn't interfere with business that doesn't pertain to you." K's hand twitched to reach for his gun, but he stayed in control. Without another word K stormed out of the office.

* * *

Fujisaki turned expectantly to Hiro when the door to the studio closed from his arrival, waiting for an explanation. Something was going on behind his back and Hiro and K was just too suspicious. When Hiro ignored him, he broke the silence. "Mr. Nakano, Shuichi has been very motivated today, and he even seems more focused. It's almost as if he is a whole new person. What happened while he was out for the week?" Fujisaki asked.

"You're quite the observer. I was meaning to tell you about the whole situation sooner. He doesn't remember Yuki. Don't even mention Yuki or try to bring anything about him up to Shuichi," Hiro explained.

"What do you mean he doesn't remember Yuki?" Mr. Sakano asked hysterically. "Bad Luck's fame and success! We're ruined!"

Hiro smiled. "Well, yesterday…"

"No! No excuses!" Fujisaki yelled, causing the taller man to smirk.

"We took Shuichi to a hypnotist to get his memories of Yuki removed," Hiro said bluntly.

"But…what about the band?" Mr. Sakano asked on the verge of fainting.

"How the hell can you two just go and interfere with somebody's life like that? That was clearly unethical!" Fujisaki yelled up at the guitarist.

"Shuichi was depressed, and he was refusing to come into work, so we did what was best for his well being and for the band. Besides, he asked us to do it, and we don't need Yuki for publicity," Hiro said, causing Mr. Sakano to faint.

"Well since you put it that way…it's still not right, but I can't complain," Fujisaki admitted with defeat. "Wait… how are we going to keep it like this? Shuichi and Yuki are plastered all over the media. Didn't you think for one second that he could see a picture or video with him and Yuki and question 'When was that and who is that?'"

"We did think about that, and that's why we have to keep him away from anything that might trigger his memories," Hiro said with a smirk.

"You and K are just impossible…why do I even bother?" Fujisaki said, hanging his head. "Aren't you supposed to be babysitting him right now? What if he is watching the news?"

* * *

Shuichi stood in front of the large mirror in the bathroom, staring at his reflection. He squinted his eyes and turned his head from side to side. He frowned and ran a hand through his loud, pink hair. He then began to ruffle his hair. After he was finished messing up his hair, he sighed. Something had to change about his look; it was just too immature now.

"Shuichi?" Hiro's voice came from outside the door. "Are you okay in there, Shu?"

"Yes, Hiro, I'll be right out," Shuichi yelled back. He waited until he heard Hiro's footsteps walk away before turning back to the mirror. After analyzing his style a few more times, he smiled. His life was good: no problems and no worries. He was doing great in his music career, and everything was looking up for him. He couldn't remember a time where he was flowing with this much creativity for his music. He usually had writer's block, and now it all seemed so distant. He couldn't imagine why he wasn't this productive as before.

With a renewed burst of unknown energy, Shuichi left the bathroom and headed towards the studio. He saw K begin to enter, so he started running, eager to see what happened with Touma. He made it to the door and walked in, undetected by the room's occupants.

"We have a problem," K said in a low voice.

"What did Mr. Seguchi say?" Hiro asked.

"Yuki is coming back, and he wants Shuichi. He told Tou-" Shuichi interrupted what his manager had to say.

"Who is this Yuki? And what does he want with me?"

**Chapter End**

Story notes: It is about 8pm in New York, and it is about 1pm in Japan in this chapter.

Too much Yuki? Too little Shuichi? Too long of a chapter? Not long enough? Too much tension? Tell me what you think of this chapter. Reviews are highly appreciated, and they motivate me to no end. Thanks for reading.


	3. Chapter 2

**Bittersweet Void**

Here is chapter two. Sorry that it took so long. The publicity that this story has received continues to encourage me. Thank you and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation

**Chapter 2**

"Shuichi…" Hiro said, at a loss for words. He didn't want to tell his friend the truth about Yuki, but he hadn't prepared a believable lie.

"Well, are any of you going to tell me?" Shuichi asked, missing the way that everyone tensed.

"He is the CEO of another music company, and he has taken an interest in your band," K explained as everyone, except Shuichi and an unconscious Sakano, let out a sigh of relief.

Shuichi nodded, believing the lie, and walked over to the microphone. He was ready to resume his recording session, but halted in the middle of putting on the head phones. He eyed everyone suspiciously when they didn't move to their usual spots. "Why is everyone just standing around?"

"I think that you have done enough for now…Why don't you take the rest of the day off?" K suggested. He was eager to have Shuichi far from Touma at the moment.

"But I don't wanna take the rest of the day off. I have music to record and lyrics to write," Shuichi objected defiantly.

"Don't worry about that right now, go home, Shuichi," K said in a tone that left no room for further argument. Seeing no compromise in sight, Shuichi sighed in defeat and left the studio with Hiro and Fujisaki following.

"Hiroshi, come here for a second," K called after the guitarist.

"Yea?" Hiro responded, walking back over to the American.

"Give me Shuichi's phone, I will deal with it," K replied, holding out his hand. Hiro took out the small cellular device and placed it in K's outstretched hand before running after Shuichi.

After the door to the studio closed, K opened the flip phone and searched through the sent text messages. He glared at the small device in his hands when he found a message that Shuichi had sent to Yuki two days ago. Judging from the date and time of the message, Shuichi sent it during the ride over to the hypnotherapist's office. Frustrated, he broke the phone in half and threw it in the trash. He then left the studio, leaving Sakano on the floor.

* * *

Touma sat behind his desk with his chin resting on his hands. Although Eiri was upset with him for interfering with their relationship, he couldn't listen, not with the information that K had given him.

At first he was going to leave Eiri alone and allow him to come back to Shuichi, but since he found out about Shuichi's current state, he could no longer have Eiri come back to the boy. If Shuichi didn't remember Eiri, then what was the purpose of letting the novelist pursue a false hope that Shuichi was ready to welcome him back with open arms?

Touma smiled, he was doing this for Eiri's good, so what he was about to do couldn't possibly be wrong.

* * *

Shuichi walked silently through the parking garage to Hiro's motorcycle, waiting for his best friend to catch up. He was furious. Who was K to tell him that he couldn't finish his work day in the studio? He had ideas flowing through him and he couldn't wait to express them through new tracks.

"Hey, Shuichi," Hiro called breathlessly, running to catch up. Shuichi really could walk fast even though he was short. The pink-haired male turned to face him, a glower evident on his face. Hiro stopped short in his run, Shuichi didn't look like a mad kitten. For once, he looked like an adult. "Come on, Shu. Enjoy this little break; you won't get many of them. Think of it as time off to work on your life. We can go apartment hunting for you," Hiro said, walking up to the vocalist.

As much as Shuichi wanted to be mad, Hiro was right. He did want to move out of Hiro's apartment and the idea of using this time off to do so seemed good. Speaking of apartment hunting, why was he living with Hiro? For some reason, he couldn't recollect the reasoning, or even the length of time of why he was living with his best friend.

Shuichi waited until both he and Hiro were on the motorcycle before bringing the subject up. After Hiro had his helmet on, Shuichi asked, "Hiro, why am I living with you?"

Stunned, Hiro took his hands of off the bike handles and hesitated a few moments, collecting a lie. He hated lying to Shuichi, but he hadn't expected Shuichi to ask that question. Usually his friend didn't use his head much. "Well, you wanted to get out of your parent's house, but you didn't want to live by yourself, so I offered you a spot at my place. Don't tell me that you forgot," Hiro said, Shuichi chuckled nervously.

"I guess I did, silly me," Shuichi said. When he didn't say anything else about the matter, Hiro started the motorcycle and drove off.

* * *

Yuki sat on the couch, staring at the numerous suit cases full of his clothes and other personal items. It was about ten at night in New York, meaning that it was about three in the afternoon in Japan. The next flight to Japan didn't leave until ten more hours, so he had time to relax. He took a long drag off of his cigarette as his thoughts drifted back to Shuichi. He really missed the little loud mouth. He jumped at the sound of his cell phone ringing, it had been so long since it was on ring, but he had some silly hope that Shuichi would call him. Without looking at the caller id he answered the phone.

"Hello?" Yuki said into the phone, hoping that it was Shuichi.

"Hello, Eiri," Seguchi's voice replied, causing Yuki to grow irate. Why was the blond calling him? Didn't he get the message after Yuki hung up on him earlier?

"What the hell do you want?" Yuki yelled into the receiver. As much as he wanted to hang up, he knew that Seguchi wouldn't call back after their earlier talk without a good reason.

"I have some disturbing information…" Touma said in a calm voice.

"And you are wasting my time, spit it out."

"Apparently, Shuichi went to a hypnotherapist," Touma said.

"And?" Yuki yelled, not in the mood for Touma's games.

"He has forgotten about you, Eiri. He literally went and had you erased from his memories. He didn't want you anymore, and he has moved on with his life. Don't you want him to remain happy? If you come back to pursue your relationship with him, you will only hurt yourself and him," Touma explained.

Yuki frowned. Did Shuichi really get hypnotized to forget about him and their memories together? "Seguchi, I know you are a known con artist, but are you really telling the truth?"

"You know me well, Eiri, when have I lied to you?" Touma responded with hurt in his voice.

"How the hell should I know! You have been trying to sabotage our relationship for a while now!"

"Eiri, you can ask Mr. K about this matter," Touma replied, trying to convince him.

What K said on the phone earlier played through his head. _"_Ah_…it's you. Heed my warning, don't ever call this phone again, and if you know what's good for you, you will stay in New York." _

"Eiri, what will you do?" Touma asked, curious about the man's decision.

"I…I think I will stay here a while longer," Yuki replied, his heart breaking. Yuki hung up the phone before Touma could say anything else, and sat it next to him on the couch next to him. He had made Shuichi miserable, and what Touma had told him about Shuichi getting hypnotized was also true. He felt horrible as he remembered all of the times that he kicked Shuichi out and yelled at him.

The thought of being nothing than a stranger to Shuichi hurt. Although he never said anything, Shuichi was his world. Now, he was just a distant past, just another ex. It was all his fault, Shuichi would be in his arms right now had he kept his promise and been home before Shuichi's tour ended.

He could not return to Japan, not yet. His heart couldn't take it. A lone tear slid down his face. "I'm sorry, Shuichi," he whispered to no one.

* * *

"Mr. K, I apologize for my earlier words," Touma said with a smile, K glared at him from across his desk.

"What did you do?" K asked, not falling for the sudden change of heart in the other blond.

"I agree with you, Eiri should stay away from Shuichi, and he is not coming back for him. I'm sorry about the inconvenience."

"You avoided my question, how can you be so sure that he isn't coming back," K said referring to Yuki.

"I just spoke with him, he said so himself. Now, I hope that your information about our Mr. Shindo is correct," Touma replied, his cheery face turning serious.

"There is nothing to worry about there, I spoke the truth. Now, as for the press, surely they will get curious as far as their past relationship goes. Will you put a muzzle on them, or do I have to?" K asked. He had his ways with a gun that would shut the press' mouth about anything concerning Yuki and Shuichi's past relationship.

"I can take care of that now, but I want you to keep your vocalist away from anything that will trigger memories of Eiri. Eiri wants nothing to do with him, and it is in the best of our interest to keep them apart," Touma said, his serious face turning back to the eerie smile.

"I never thought that I would say this to you, but in this case I fully agree," K said getting up, ready for departure.

"Do not fail me," Touma ended the conversation, grabbing his office phone.

* * *

"Hey, Shu. Mr. K, Mr. Sakano, Fujisaki, and I were going out tonight to celebrate the success of our third album, you in?" Hiro said as he unlocked the door and walked into Shuichi's condo. When he heard no response he headed towards the living room to see if Shuichi was in there. On the way, he saw Shuichi running on the treadmill in the exercise room. He smiled at his friend and clasped a hand on his sweaty back when Shuichi got off of the machine.

In just a year they had produced two albums and been on tour for the second album. So much has happened since then. Shuichi had matured, and focused on his music and image. No longer was he the cute upcoming pop star, but he was now seen as a man in the media's eyes. He had dyed his hair black, saying that the pink was too immature. He even had gotten his ears pierced, a loop at the top of his left ear and studs at the bottom of both ears. Not only that, but he even began working out recently, he now had muscles defining his still small stature.

So far there had been no recollections of Yuki from Shuichi, at least none that he knew of. The scare in the studio a year ago about Yuki coming back for Shuichi had been negated when Touma told K that Yuki changed his mind. Ever since then, Hiro haven't heard anything about Yuki.

Shuichi wiped his forehead with a towel that was around his neck and smiled at Hiro. "Yea, sure, let me take a shower and get changed. You can wait in the living room if you want," he said leaving the room, heading to his bedroom for some fresh clothes. He grabbed a pair of khakis from the dresser and a purple button up shirt, along with some underwear.

In the shower he turned the water on scorching hot. It always helped keep his mind off of racing thoughts when he wasn't working on music or exercising. For some reason, when Shuichi wasn't keeping his mind occupied, he was feeling empty, like he was missing something major in his life, like he wasn't whole.

Along with the void that was consuming, he had been having weird dreams. This had been going on for about three months now, that's why he had been exercising. The burn and self torture that came with it was healthy and others thought it was to look more like a mature adult, but in reality it kept his mind off of the dark hole that had been slowly eating at him. It also distracted him from his dreams.

The dreams he had been having consisted of someone with blond hair and a loop earring in their left ear. That is why he got a loop in his upper left ear. He hadn't gotten a chance to see anything past that because every time the person entered his dreams he woke up in a cold sweat. After he woke up he had the oddest feeling that the person was somebody important to him, even though he didn't know the person.

He expelled the thoughts from his mind and focused on the hot water. He hadn't even been aware of the burning on his skin until he thought about it. When he couldn't tolerate the heat any longer, Shuichi turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. After drying off and dressing, Shuichi stepped into the living room and saw Hiro on the couch watching the sixty inch plasma television. It was on a station where a lady was interviewing a brown haired American looking guy.

Shuichi was drawn to the guy's golden-amber eyes almost instantly. _"Those eyes, it's as if he was bearing into my soul."_

"Mr. Uesugi. The world wants to know about your hiatus that lasted over a year, the sudden reason you feel the need to drop the pen name, and the reasoning behind changing your hair color," the female sitting across from the guy asked.

Eiri smirked and sat in silence a few moments before answering. "Well I needed a break to take care of some personal matters. As far as dropping the pen name goes, however, I felt that the pen name was too artificial for me. I don't need to go by a pseudo name to publish my works. On my hiatus, I've changed. I'm changing my writing style. As for the hair, I felt I needed something different."

"_That voice…I feel as though I should know it."_

Shuichi sneezed as the cool room temperature finally sunk in on his hot skin. Hiro immediately turned off the television and looked to him. "Shuichi, I didn't know you was standing there," Hiro said, alarmed.

Shuichi failed to hear him. For some reason, he felt lost and lonely. He didn't know why the sudden change overcame him, but he didn't like it. The dark hole that had been slowly eating at him transformed into an unbearable ache. He wrapped his arms around himself with the hopes of keeping himself in one piece. None of this made sense. It wasn't until he was violently shaken that Shuichi came to his senses.

"Shuichi, what's wrong?" Hiro asked, frantic.

Shuichi shook his head of black damp hair to clear his mind. "Nothing, uh…lets go," Shuichi replied, heading into his room to grab a jacket.

Hiro pulled out his phone and dialed K's number. When the American answered, Hiro quickly explained that Yuki was back from New York and that he thinks Shuichi seen some of the interview that Yuki did on television.

"Shit! This is not good. Keep an eye on Shuichi and discreetly try to find out if he remembered anything," the manager replied.

Hiro noticed Shuichi coming out of his bedroom. "Right, love you, mom. Ok, I'll tell him. Bye." Hiro hung up the phone and turned to Shuichi, noticing that he was fully ready. "My mom says hi. You ready to go?"

Shuichi eyed his friend with disbelief. Hiro never gets off the phone that quick when he was talking to his mother. Something suspicious was going on, but he didn't have the mental capacity to deal with it at this moment. He had enough problems as it was. All he wanted to do was go out and celebrate, and that is what he was going to do. Maybe it would help him clear his mind. With a nod he started towards the door with Hiro beside him.

* * *

The night club was booming with loud, lively music. Everyone had kept a close eye on Shuichi, not only because they heard about the small Yuki incident, but because Shuichi had drunk so much alcohol that he probably didn't know his left from right.

Shuichi was hot, feverishly hot. He figured it was from the many drinks that he had, not to mention all of the dancing he had done tonight. He had ignored everyone's protest that he had enough to drink. He was stuck on ridding himself of his haunting dreams, if only for a moment. He promised himself that he would stop before the room started spinning.

"I-I got to go…to the bathroom," Shuichi slurred after downing another drink, pushing himself up from his seat, stumbling when he made it to his feet. Hiro stood to assist him, but Shuichi told him that he was alright. After he made sure that Mr. K wouldn't object, Shuichi made his way to the exit. He had no intention of going to the bathroom. He needed fresh air.

When Shuichi made it outside, the cool air engulfed him. He inhaled deeply, reveling in the clean scent, opposed from the smell of alcohol and sweaty bodies in the club. He began to meander with no set destination in his mind. Too drunk to care, too drunk to think about anything, he just kept putting one foot in front of another.

Seconds, minutes, hours, Shuichi didn't know how long he had been walking, all he knew was that it was night time. It wasn't until he was in a park that he stopped walking and sat on a bench. He laid down, feeling lethargic from tonight's activities. It wasn't long until his eyelids were closing and the dark was consuming. Before he fully drifted off, he vaguely remembered hearing that voice from the interview earlier. He sighed. _"Great now I'm having hallucinations." _The voice continued as he fell into complete darkness.

**Chapter End**

Yes, I skipped forward a year, but I had to. Let me know how you feel about this chapter and the introduction to the new Shuichi. Cookies for everyone who guesses what happened at the end. Reviews are appreciated. Your thoughts matter, not to mention they motivate me to no end.


	4. Chapter 3

**Bittersweet Void**

Well, here is chapter three. It is more interesting than chapter two, and hopefully I will get more reviews for this one than the last. The beginning of this chapter may seem confusing, but it won't be once you get further along in it. I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation

**Chapter Three**

Yuki rolled over in bed with the hopes of getting comfortable. It was less than five minutes later when he turned over again. With an aggravated sigh, because of the lack of sleep, he got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. It was connected to the bedroom.

He went over to the sink and splashed warm water on his face. He paused and looked into the mirror. He frowned at the sight of him looking like hell. There were dark bags under his eyes. Running a hand through his brown hair, he smirked. Shuichi would flip knowing that he had colored his hair.

He walked out of the bathroom and bypassed his bed, noticing that the digital clock read three in the morning before heading for the door to the hallway. Without Shuichi warming his bed, he didn't get much sleep, and when he did he would dream of the pink haired vocalist, only to wake up without the male beside him. He headed to the kitchen to start brewing some coffee before heading to his laptop in the living room. He might as well get some work done since he couldn't sleep. As he booted the laptop up his mind wandered off to when his whole world got turned upside down.

It had been a full year since he heard the news that Shuichi didn't want him back. Ever since then he hadn't been himself. To avoid the heartache of being so close, yet so far from Shuichi, he had stayed in New York. He still worked on his novels, but he didn't get them published yet. Apparently, the ones he had been working lately were some how connected to Shuichi. They were hopeless romance novels that he would have published once he got back to Japan.

His computer was up and running before he knew it, so he continued on the third story he had began writing since being in New York. The other two were already finished. After only one paragraph, he got stuck and decided to go pour him a cup. The coffee pot should be done by now.

He walked into the kitchen and remembered a time when his Shuichi would be right beside him talking his ear off while he prepared his coffee. He missed those times. Back in the past, however, he would yell at the brat to shut up. Now, he would give anything to hear that voice talking about something as trivial as not wanting Fujisaki to be added to Bad Luck.

Yuki poured his cup in his too quiet kitchen and headed back to the living room. When he sat on the couch and sipped his coffee, Yuki felt the heat of the beverage rush to his stomach. It was ironic how he was warm yet cold at the same time.

His soul had grown cold considering that his warmth was all the way in Japan—warmth that would never be his again. He couldn't take the quiet coldness of the apartment, so he walked over to the stereo and turned on one of Bad Luck's CDs. Instantly, the room was filled with _In the Moonlight_. Tears filled his eyes because Shuichi had made that song about him, but it didn't cause him to change the track. He sat down and closed his eyes, reminiscing on a time where Shuichi was his, when he was Shuichi's world. Now, he was nothing to the boy, and the thought of the young male living without him scared Yuki.

Yuki stayed away when he heard that Shuichi was doing well without him, not remembering him, but now he was second guessing his choice. Yes, it may have been best for the vocalist at the time, but it wasn't best for him. He wanted to respect the pop star's wishes at the cost of his own happiness.

Tears were falling from his face by the time the song ended and Bad Luck's version of _Shining Collection_ came on. Yuki remembered when he wrote this song especially for Shuichi. As the lyrics played, more memories of Shuichi clouded his mind. His constant yearning for Bad Luck's singer grew into an ache.

He missed Shuichi and although it would seem selfish to return to the vocalist's life, he no longer wanted to keep his distance for the sake his former lover's wellbeing. His health and sanity was on the line. Yuki hadn't been eating properly or getting enough sleep with the younger male being absent from his life. Shuichi had become his drug and Yuki could no longer live like this. He needed his drug. He was addicted.

Yuki went to his laptop and booked a flight to Tokyo that left in seven hours. That should be enough time to pack and prepare for the trip. He had been away from Shuichi too long to waste any time now.

* * *

"Eiri, have you been eating? You look rather thin," Touma greeted as he helped Yuki with his luggage, putting it into his trunk.

"Get off me, Seguchi," Yuki replied, wanting the president of NG to stay out of his business.

"I'm sorry, I'm just concerned about you," Touma replied, looking hurt.

"Don't be," Yuki said, closing the trunk and walking around to the passenger side of the car.

"Are you going to be staying with Mika and me for the night?" Touma asked, knowing that there was no furniture at the empty apartment that Yuki had left a year and three months ago.

"No, I want to go to my apartment," Yuki said, staring out the window as Touma left the airport. When Touma didn't respond, Yuki looked at the older man, noticing the way that he grew tense. "What's wrong with me going there?"

"There is no furniture there," Touma replied, finding the road way more interesting than meeting Yuki's glare.

"What the hell do you mean?" Yuki yelled.

"When you left I had all of your belongings put into storage," Touma replied.

"What! Why the hell would you do that?" Yuki yelled, growing more agitated by the second. Then the thought came to his mind. Seguchi had told Shuichi that he wasn't returning and then told the vocalist to get out of the place, and that was why Shuichi got hypnotized. He believed that Yuki wasn't coming back. "You asshole! You're telling me that he left me because of you! You took my stuff out of the apartment and told him that I wasn't coming back!"

"Eiri, I had your stuff removed, yes, but I told him that he could keep the place. I left his stuff intact, he was the one who moved out on his own," Touma answered, like it should make Yuki feel better. It didn't.

Anger built within Yuki with every word Seguchi spoke. He probably took Shuichi to get hypnotized and if he didn't he still played a major role in their separation. Slowly memories of their phone call about Shuichi having his memories came to Yuki. Seguchi had plotted the extended separation of the two, indirectly convincing Yuki to stay away from Shuichi. He made Yuki feel like it was for Shuichi's good! Not wanting to go to jail for murder, Yuki told Touma to pull over.

"Eiri, it's twelve at night, be reasonable," Touma pleaded, knowing that the novelist was pissed.

"You fucking jeopardized my relationship and you're telling me to be reasonable? To make matters worse, I _believed_ you. I fucking believed you!" Yuki yelled, hating himself for falling for such an obvious trap.

Touma obliged and pulled over. Before the car was in park, Yuki jumped out and rushed to the trunk. "Open the damn trunk!" Yuki yelled. Once again, Touma obeyed and before he was out of the driver's seat, Yuki had his suit cases on the side walk.

"Eiri, please don't do this," Touma said, not making an attempt to help the other man.

"Stay the fuck away from me! And if you ever try to hinder Shuichi and I again I will castrate you, you got that!" Yuki yelled, causing Touma to flinch.

"I was only trying to help," Touma murmured.

"Yeah, well, help me by staying out of my life! Now, get out of my face! My items that you have in storage had _better_ be at my apartment before noon tomorrow! I don't ever want to see you again! And you better not send Mika to check on me either!" Yuki yelled, too far gone to calm down.

Touma didn't move from behind the car as Yuki walked up on the sidewalk with his belongings. He watched as Yuki called a cab. It wasn't until the other male left that he got into his car. He was broken, no… _ruined_ because of the things that Eiri had told him.

* * *

Yuki walked into his empty apartment and dropped his bags. The place was void of any objects as he walked around, checking the various rooms. It was not void of any memories, however, as visions of Shuichi came to mind: the living room where they would watch television together, the kitchen where Shuichi would ramble about various things while he made coffee, and the bedroom where they made love.

Yuki sighed as he walked into the bedroom and sat down on the floor. Before he let his emotions trample him, he had to call his agent. He was fortunate that his agent never cared about late hours that he called in. He had to let her know that he was back and had two books ready to be published. He also wanted an interview as soon as possible. In his anger at Touma, he forgot to get information on Shuichi and an interview may just trigger the vocalist's memories and bring the pink haired male to him. After getting off the phone with his agent, he let his memories consume him, taking him down a long road of good and bad times with his love, Shuichi.

_Shining Collection_ roared through Yuki's phone speakers, alerting him for a phone call. He yawned and looked at the illumination of the room from the windows. He hadn't been aware that he'd falling asleep. He groggily answered the phone only to be greeted by the cheery voice of his agent.

"Hello, Yuki?" The woman said, sounding wide awake.

"I don't want to go by my pen name anymore; in fact I want all of my stories that will be published in the future to go by my real name," Yuki responded. He didn't want to be connected to Yuki Kitazawa anymore. He left the man in the past a year ago.

"My apologies… Eiri, I have an interview for you as you requested. It's at 6:00 PM. Are you ok with that?"

"Yes, also I would like you to inform whoever will be interviewing me about the name change. I don't want any confusion with the media," Yuki replied in the nicest voice he could muster in the morning.

"Ok will do, is there anything else?"

"No, I believe that's all," Yuki finished. With a few more words exchanged he was off the phone. He checked his clock on the phone and saw that it was 10:00 AM exactly. Not too long after he got off the floor the door rang, and he saw that it was the movers with his furniture.

* * *

After his interview, Yuki went home to finish unpacking the bags that he brought from New York. After he finished his task, he looked around the apartment. It looked the same way it had before he left for New York, except there was no Shuichi or any of his items.

Deprived and empty. That is how Yuki felt at the moment. Sitting around the house wouldn't get Shuichi back and it wouldn't stop his yearning. He looked at the clock. It was 9:15 PM. With nothing better to do Yuki grabbed his coat and headed out the door.

He wanted nothing more than to feel like his life was back to normal, even though it wasn't. Normal for him would be taking a walk in his favorite park at night, and it was place where he met Shuichi. He would be able to relax and reminisce in the place that started it all.

When he reached the park, he frowned. Somebody else was there. So much for being able to reminisce alone... There was a black haired guy, sluggishly heading for the bench that Yuki was going to sit on. From the way he was walking, the stranger was probably drunk. Not wanting to be detected Yuki just watched from the shadows. The guy looked much like his Shuichi, around the same height and everything, except he was a little more muscular than his old lover had been. When the guy got closer, Yuki noticed something about him the made his heart wrench.

Amethyst eyes... The guy had the same color eyes as Shuichi. Yuki stepped out of the shadows to study the guy better. It wasn't often that one could find someone with the same eyes and similar features. For some reason, Yuki couldn't stop himself from walking right up to the guy. By this time, though, the guy had laid down on the bench and closed his eyes.

Yuki gasped when he studied the guy. He looked dead on like Shuichi. "Hey, you, what's your name?" Yuki asked, needing the confirmation. When the guy didn't answer, Yuki reached into the guy's pocket, looking for his identification. He pulled out the man's wallet and opened it. The wallet dropped out of his hand once he had gotten his confirmation. He fell to his knees shortly after and embraced the sleeping male.

* * *

"_Shut up," said a deep voice._

"_What?" replied Shuichi._

"_I said shut up. Get outta here," answered the unknown voice in a cold manner._

"_What, get out?" Shuichi tried to verify, confused._

"_I don't have time to deal with idiots."_

"_Sorry, I'll be quiet now," Shuichi said meekly._

"_I told you to get the hell out, you're just an eyesore."_

Shuichi stirred lightly, coming to. "_What a weird dream." _He slowly opened his eyes, closing them when the light from the morning sun intensified the splitting headache he had. He then noticed that he was in a bed. _"What the hell?"_ the vocalist thought before someone's voice interrupted him.

"Light bothering you? Sorry, let me get the curtains," a deep voice said.

Shuichi shot up in bed, alert because of the unknown, yet familiar voice. He eyed the man who was now closing the curtains. Who was he? He then took in his surroundings and realized that he wasn't at home. "Who are you and where am I?" Shuichi asked, moving away from the taller guy.

Yuki's heart constricted as he looked Shuichi in the eye, searching for any indication of this being a cruel joke. He knew that Shuichi supposedly didn't remember him, but he didn't know that the reality of it would hurt so much. Then a thought hit him. Maybe he should play it safe. Maybe it was better that Shuichi didn't remember the cruelties of the past. "Wait here," Yuki said, ignoring his former lover's question before going into the kitchen.

Shuichi watched as the American looking male walked out of the room. How had he ended up in this situation? What happened last night? Shuichi vaguely remembered the club and then afterwards walking to the park. Then that voice… He remembered hearing that voice. Why was that voice so damn important?

Yuki came back into the room with a cup of apple juice and some aspirin, offering it to Shuichi. "Here take these. I can only imagine the hangover that you must have."

Shuichi nodded in thanks as he took the juice and pills from the guy. It wasn't until he took the pills that Shuichi realized that the guy had the same voice as the one in his dream. "Just who the hell are you anyways?" Shuichi jumped to his feet, remembering how cold the guy in dreams was. Maybe they were the same person.

"I'm Eiri. Take it easy," Yuki said. As if on cue, Shuichi grabbed his head in pain and sat back on the bed.

"You bastard…! You were so cruel to me, and I accepted it. I fucking accepted it!" Shuichi yelled while still sitting on the bed, the dream replaying in his mind.

"It wasn't me. Look, I don't know who you are talking about, but I've never met you before," Yuki responded wearing a cool mask. He didn't want Shuichi to remember how he was cold to him. Was he that awful? Did Shuichi get his memory back?

"I'm… sorry… I don't know what I'm talking about. I should be thanking you for helping me. Besides, you and the guy in my dreams don't even have the same hair color. Maybe I thought it was you because of your voice," Shuichi replied.

"It's fine, so who was this person who was cold to you?" Yuki asked, playing it off as if he was only curious.

"I don't know. For all I know, it could just be my vivid imagination that gave me the dream. It's weird, I feel like I've seen you somewhere," Shuichi answered, searching his brain as best as he could for the answers.

"Maybe on television," Yuki said, shrugging. Shuichi had grown perceptive over the time that Yuki was away. He stared at the other male, drinking him in. Those confused amethyst eyes, the way his muscles moved under his clothes, the maturity that he had gained, it all made Yuki go crazy for him.

"Oh, you're the guy that was being interviewed," Shuichi said, slowly moving to stand. Yuki nodded. _"I still don't know why I feel like he is…I don't know. I need to go home."_

_Shining Collection_ shrieked over the silenced room, causing Shuichi and Yuki to dig in their pockets for their cell phones.

Shuichi answered his phone seeing that it was Hiro, missing the look of surprise on Yuki's face. "Yea, I'm fine…No, there's no reason to worry…I'm going home now…Where am I? I'm at Eiri's… No, I just met him… I just said that I just met him! Of course I don't know him! … Done anything? What the hell is that supposed to mean? … No, I don't need to be picked up, ya ass! I was just leaving…Bye, _mother_." After a scoff, Shuichi closed his cell phone.

Yuki waited until Shuichi hung up before speaking. "So you like that song?"

"Yes, it's awesome. Somehow, I don't remember who wrote it though, and I find it odd that I can't recollect who sung it, but I feel like it's about me," Shuichi responded not wanting to reveal that he sung it, but cursing himself for revealing such things to a stranger.

"_It is about you, Shu…" _Yuki thought."I like it. The person who sang it is a musical genius," Yuki said, still playing naïve. He wanted Shuichi to keep talking. He loved that voice. His voice was no longer as high pitched as it had been. It was… attractive.

"Yeah, he is. Well… I've got to go. My friend's having a bitch fit," Shuichi murmured. He headed for the door, wondering how he knew his way around this place. He had never been here before. When he made it to the door and put his shoes on, Yuki's voice stopped him.

"Wait, Shuichi," Yuki called out, walking toward the younger male. Being polite, Shuichi turned around. His politeness was met with being slammed against the door. His amethyst eyes widened, feeling the other male's lips on his.

His mind went blank.

**Chapter End**

I don't think that there is anything in this chapter that needed to be explained, however, if you are confused please don't hesitate to ask any question. Well, how was it? I let you inside of the novelist's head and there was some Shuichi and Yuki action. Review and tell me how the story is so far. Reviews fuel my motivation. I know that I didn't get many for the last chapter and I am hoping that this one was more enjoyable.


	5. Chapter 4

**Bittersweet Void**

Here is chapter four. Thanks for all of the positive reviews and publicity that this story got. I was forced to change the rating from T to M because of some of the scenes, so don't be alarmed.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation

**Chapter Four**

Flashes of a blond haired person, having him in the same predicament, played through Shuichi's mind. He couldn't see much of the person's face, considering that the person was so close, kissing him. However, he did see a loop earring in the person's left ear and judging by that and the hair, Shuichi assumed that it was the same person from his other dreams. He felt like he had gone back in time, reliving memories instead of seeing visuals.

A moan that didn't belong to him brought him out of his thoughts, snatching him back to the present day and time. He quirked an eyebrow as the novelist's hair changed blond briefly before going back to brown. Was this a hallucination? He shrugged it off and directed his attention to the kiss.

For some reason, Shuichi melted into the demanding kiss. Fingers racked through his hair and gripped the black locks, practically holding Shuichi's lips hostage. Shuichi felt the older man sucking on his bottom lip and smirked. He would not be the submissive one. Just because he was older, he thought he could get away with dominating him? Shuichi's fingers clutched the man's clothes, and then slammed him against a nearby wall. He pulled away. The man stared at him, eyes wide, seemingly in shock. He panted heavily. Shuichi had never seen such inviting lips. "Shu-" The vocalist ended the man's sentence before he began by means of a kiss.

He liked the sound of the man moaning. Shuichi parted from him again, only to nip at his neck. The guy smelled of cigarettes and coffee. It was a great combination for the man. Shuichi pressed himself against him, wanting to share his scent. _"So good…"_ he thought, licking the man's skin. Shuichi's blood boiled in blissful lust. His cock hardened into a painful erection that pressed against the confines of his khakis. Not satisfied with just kissing, Shuichi rubbed his hardened member against his captor's bulge. The other male let out a throaty noise of ecstasy.

Shuichi pulled away, licking his lips as he did. "You like that, don't you?" His nose rubbed against Yuki's chin. He reveled in the fact that the man's skin showed signs of developing hickeys. He smirked as Yuki made a small noise of protest. His legs gave out, causing the brown haired man to fall to his knees.

"Shu—" Yuki began, breathlessly.

Shuichi hushed the novelist, putting a finger to Yuki's lips. "No talking. Bed now."

The novelist panted. Never before had the younger male took control in a situation like this. He bit his bottom lip. It was… stimulating. On unsteady legs, Yuki found his body standing and moving towards the bedroom, without his mind's consent. He almost could not believe his own actions. Following Shuichi's orders…? The thought seemed absurd.

Shuichi crossed his arms, watching in amusement as the taller man staggered by. He smirked again, tilting his head a bit. With an uncontrollable desire, Shuichi smacked the older man's bottom, telling him to move faster. Shuichi didn't know why he had become so feisty. However, it felt good to be in control. Yuki seemed surprised, but there was no doubt that he didn't like it. The other male froze, turning towards him with golden feral eyes. They were filled with lust. _"Oh yeah… He likes it a lot."_ He uncrossed his arms and moved forward. "You're not going to keep me waiting, are you?" The man bit his bottom lip again.

Shuichi stalked Yuki, causing the male to back up with his eyes locked on the singer. It wasn't until he lost his balance, by bumping into the edge of the bed, that the black haired male pounced, straddling his midsection. With his groin pressed firmly into Yuki's, Shuichi lavished his neck: kissing, sucking, and the occasional nips.

Yuki closed his eyes with another moan, relishing in the younger male's actions. He couldn't think of a time when he was so aroused. In fact, he couldn't think at all. When had Shuichi become so skilled? He opened his eyes and sat up so that he could help Shuichi with the task of unbuttoning his shirt. However, the singer was having none of that. Shuichi forced him back down. Yuki wanted more, but he refused to resort to begging. But why did Shuichi have to torture him with his slow, sensual movements. A hand snaked down into his pants, grabbing his penis. He gasped loudly, springing his head back. He released a sigh of pleasure and incredulity. His hips bucked against the contact. Yuki bit his lip again, hoping to prevent other noises from erupting. "Shuichi… t-take me," he moaned. Did he really just say that? How did it turn into this? But Yuki didn't really care at the moment. All he wanted was that sweet release.

Shuichi suddenly stopped. He had not once told this guy his name. Come to think of it… this not the first time that this stranger had used his name. Shuichi let out a shuddering breath. What was he _doing_? Since when did he fondle random guys? The singer quickly removed his hand from Yuki's pants. He shifted away from the man, and then stood away from the bed. Without a word, Shuichi walked away, beyond confused. A hand on his shoulder made him turn around with a glare. "Don't _touch_ me! I don't even know who the fuck you are! You're a fan boy, aren't you?" He pushed the brown-haired man away.

"Shui-" Yuki started. His eyes were wide and his lips parted.

"You can't just casually say my name like that," Shuichi nearly snarled. "You don't know a thing about me other than what the media displays. I'm _not_ even gay." He clenched his fists. "You can't just go around and act out your fantasies with unknown people that you think you know." The pop star left the apartment without another word.

Yuki back away, and then sat down on the edge of his bed. He stared aimlessly. "Damn brat… Come back…" Tears ran down his face. "You can't leave me like this." He covered his mouth with his hand. The writer could feel his heart breaking. The rejection from his former lover hurt.

Experiencing the past ten minutes told him something, though. Shuichi is no longer his pink haired bundle of joy. No… The boy was clearly a man now. His childlike innocence was gone. Even though Yuki didn't know the new Shuichi, he liked him. Perhaps more now than he ever did. The brat had grown to be mature. However, no matter how the pop star transformed, Yuki knew he would never give up on his Shuichi.

He squeezed his eyes shut. Fate was playing a cruel joke that was oddly bittersweet. Yuki seemed to take up Shuichi's previous role. It was ironic that the pursuer had become the one who would be pursued. Yuki would be damned if he let his good thing go, especially after his earlier reminder of how special Shuichi was—and still is—to him.

At a loss of what to do, Yuki fell back on the bed. He stared up at the ceiling, not bothering to wipe away his tears. He turned over, inhaling the foreign, yet familiar scent. "Shuichi…" Yuki murmured. The scent, however, did not help the novelist's erection or aching heart. Feeling forlorn because of the way Shuichi treated him, Yuki let his misery rise up, crying into the pillow.

* * *

Shuichi stopped to rest. He had run so fast and so hard. His hand gripped the corner of a building. He panted heavily with his eyes squeezed shut. The singer was so _confused_. Why had he reacted that way to a complete stranger? _"A guy no less…"_ He hadn't taken an interest in nobody since… _ever_. So _why_ did he react that way to Eiri? Was that even his real name? It had never occurred to him before that he might be attracted to the same gender. The alcohol… It had to be the alcohol still coursing through his system. He would most definitely have to stop drinking, especially if it caused him to act in such a manner. He scoffed at the thought of almost fucking a random fan boy. The media would have his ass. _"No pun intended…" _he thought, frowning.

Another thing that flashed into his mind was how he kept imagining that guy with blond hair. And what was with the visual where the blond haired person was kissing him? Things were just too crazy for Shuichi's liking. Finally, his breathing steadied. He swallowed hard before opening his eyes.

His amethyst eyes looked up. He had been running for over five minutes. Judging the distance, he guessed that it would be another thirty minutes until he reached home. That was just fine with him. The run would help him clear his mind and help him with his recently acquired sexual frustration.

This run didn't clear his mind like the times in the past. In fact, this run did the complete opposite. His mind _raged_ with thoughts. Hiro had asked him on the phone had Eiri done anything to him. Did Hiro know about this Eiri character? And by done anything, did he mean the kiss that occurred after his interrogation? Come to think of it, Hiro, Fujisaki, Mr. K, and Mr. Sakano had all been acting weird for about a year now. He had grown accustomed to it, but since Hiro's little freak out on the phone, he knew something wasn't right. He was going to ask Hiro about it later.

Shuichi reached his condo, panting. He walked in, taking off his shoes at the door and hanging his jacket up. He headed straight to the bathroom for a shower. He needed to wash this guy's scent off of him. A cold shower would do him some good.

After fifteen minutes, Shuichi got out of the shower and dried off. Since he was still tired and slightly buzzed, he wrapped a towel around himself and walked into the bedroom. He had every intention of going back to sleep. If Hiro knew what was good for him, then he wouldn't come over today.

* * *

"If you don't mind me asking, why would you request this meeting on a Saturday?" K asked annoyed as he stared at his boss, Touma. From the grave expression on Touma's face and the information from Hiro that Yuki had returned, K would bet anything that the situation was about Shuichi and Yuki.

Touma turned hard eyes, which meant business, to K before speaking. "Our alliance has been terminated."

K was taken aback. What did Touma mean by their alliance? Surely Touma wasn't firing him, was he? "Excuse me, what do you mean?" K asked with a confused expression.

"Our alliance to keep Shuichi and Eiri apart, I will not aid you, and I request that you cease your attempts of it as well," Touma said, closing his eyes.

K eyed the president of NG with an annoyed look. He didn't have time for this and he had a slight headache. "I can deny your request…right?"

Touma smiled for the first time since the meeting. The smile was very malevolent and aimed at K. "You could, but then I could accidentally write your name on a pink slip and dismiss you from your job."

K glowered. As much as he wanted to use his whole arsenal on the blond in front of him, he couldn't. "Fine, play your little game, but don't come crying to me when you lose revenue from your number two band."

"I don't care about Bad Luck's income as of recently. Eiri means the world to me, and I would die before I do anything to displease him… again," Touma admitted. "And have Mr. Nakano back off also, I will not have anyone standing in Eiri's way."

"I cannot control Nakano," K lied.

"Well, do something because if I have to get involved then he might find himself unemployed just like you if you don't cooperate. You wouldn't want to be the cause of Bad Luck getting disbanded, do you?" Touma bluffed. He wouldn't fire Hiro because then Shuichi would be upset. That would result in Eiri hating him more, and he did want that.

K glowered at Nittle Grasper's keyboardist for a while before getting up and leaving the bar that Touma had reserved for the meeting. He called Hiro, wanting to meet with him in person to explain the change of plans. Man, he hated his boss sometimes.

* * *

Hiro walked inside of Shuichi's apartment, thankful that he had a spare key. The vocalist was livid on the phone earlier and stressed that he didn't want to be picked up from Yuki's, but he never said that Hiro couldn't ensure that he made it home safely.

Hiro noticed that the shoes Shuichi wore yesterday were at the door. It meant the male was home. Walking through the condo, Hiro didn't see Shuichi, so he headed for the bedroom. He peeked in and saw the black haired male asleep. The clothes he wore the day before were discarded on the floor. Hiro shook his head and closed the door lightly. He headed for the living room, he would stay until after Shuichi awoke and they talked.

Hiro sat on the couch, getting comfortable. He turned on the television, turning the volume down low so that he wouldn't wake Shuichi. He jumped when his cell phone rang in his pocket. Upon answering it, he heard an unhappy Mr. K on the other end.

"Nakano?" K almost growled out.

"Yea, what's wrong?" Hiro asked, concerned. It wasn't too often that his manger called him on a Saturday.

"Where are you? We need to talk, now."

"I'm at Shuichi's, I'm not leaving though, not until Shu wakes up," Hiro responded.

"Fine, I'll come to you then," K said before hanging up, ending any protests that Hiro might have had. Hiro shrugged before putting his phone away. Something must have happened—something major.

* * *

Yuki's cell phone echoed through the bedroom. The man groaned and grabbed it, answering without looking at the number of who was calling. "Hello?" Yuki's voice cracked, being that he just finished crying.

"Eiri, you sound horrible," a sad male's voice replied.

"Why the fuck are you calling me? What part of what I said the other day did you not understand?"

"Eiri, I know of a way that you can make Mr. Shindo yours again," Touma said, grabbing Yuki's attention. "I have already told you that he has been hypnotized. All you have to do to reverse it is to trigger his memories, bring them back. Certain sights, noises, smells, events, and other things could potentially cause him to remember. Mr. K and Mr. Nakano have been working very hard to keep his memories buried, use this information to your advantage."

"Bye, Seguchi," Yuki said, hanging up on the blond. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve and rolled over onto his back before setting his cell phone on the night stand. The information Touma given him would help him in the future, but he would never tell him that. Yuki remembered Shuichi saying something about dreaming about a blond haired man. Of course, he would go back to his natural hair color so that Shuichi can remember because the brown hair he sported threw the young singer off. It was a good thing that he had a hair dye remover kit. Without wasting more time, Yuki got up and headed for the bathroom.

He left the bathroom about thirty minutes later, drying his hair with a towel. He was thankful that the dye was removed without any difficulties. He went and sat on the bed, thinking. How was he going to find Shuichi? He would be damned if he called Seguchi to ask, but he really didn't have any other options.

Yuki reached towards the night stand to grab his cell, but stopped short when he saw a wallet next to his phone. He smiled, remembering that he didn't give Shuichi his wallet back after he looked in it at the park. Shuichi's wallet had his identification, meaning that his address was on it as well.

* * *

K waited in front of the door to Shuichi's condo. Either Hiro was going to answer the door within the next few seconds, or he was going to blast the damn thing off. With growing agitation, K pulled out his AK-47 and aimed it at the door. Unfortunately, Hiro opened the door right before he pulled the trigger. "Damn," K muttered, putting the gun away. Hiro laughed nervously, knowing he would have become swiss cheese had he come to the door any later.

"Come in and be quiet. Shuichi is trying to sleep," Hiro whispered as he turned around, heading back into the condo. K closed the door and followed the guitarist to the living room. When the brunet sat down on the couch, K began in a low tone.

"We can't interfere with Shuichi and Yuki anymore," K blurted out bluntly.

"Whoa, what a minute…! What are you talking about?" Hiro asked, not happy about K's statement.

"Exactly what I said. Touma is threatening to fire both you and me if we get in the way. As much as I hate this, I will not jeopardize Bad Luck."

"I can't listen… Shuichi is my best friend. I won't stop protecting him from Yuki," Hiro said, glaring daggers at his manager.

"Shuichi is not the same immature kid that he was a year ago. He can handle himself now. As I recall, he was depressed so we took matters into our own hands and took him to the hypnotherapist. If you haven't noticed, Nakano, Shuichi is growing agitated with us acting like his mother. I don't agree with this myself, but as his manager and you as his best friend… we need to lay off Shuichi. He can make his own decisions now. We are slowly pushing him away."

* * *

Shuichi looked around the room. It was a rundown, abandoned apartment. Broken glass bottles and other trash littered the floor. There were large broken windows that decorated the walls. Outside, a snow storm was swirling. His eyes widened at what he saw below the window.

Not only was he dreaming, but he was having a dream in a third person point of view. He saw himself, with pink hair and wearing a dog costume, sitting in front of the blond haired person. He was shocked to see the person's face. He had never before seen the male's face in past dreams. On shaky legs, Shuichi walked over to the pink-haired Shuichi, observing what was going on.

_The pink haired Shuichi leaned in and placed a kiss on blonde's lips, savoring it. When they finally broke for air, the blonde embraced Shuichi, lightly panting._

"_Yuki, promise me that you will come back before the tour is over," The younger man said while looking into the older man's amber eyes. _

_After a moment of hesitation, the stranger named Yuki nodded, "I promise, Shuichi. I promise that I will come home to you."_

"_I have to go now, I have a concert. I love you, Yuki," Shuichi said hugging the other man once more._

"_I love you too. Do your best," Yuki replied while petting Shuichi's pink hair._

_The young vocalist stood, stole another glance at Yuki, and then walked out of the door._

Shuichi woke, sitting up in bed. He was breathing heavily and sweating bullets. That dream… It seemed too real. Did that event really occur, or was his mind playing tricks on him? Unlike the other dreams, Shuichi got a full view of the anonymous guy and the name… "Yuki…" he muttered. Once again, maybe it was just the alcohol. Nobody had dreams like that.

Shuichi's thoughts stopped when he heard muted voices outside of his bedroom door. Slowly, he got up and headed to the door, pressing his ear against it. When he recognized the two voices he grew irate, regretting giving Hiro a key to his place. He walked out into the hallway and stormed into the living room, not caring that he was only in a towel. "You two out, now," Shuichi ordered in a deadly voice that meant no bullshit or back talk.

"Hey, Shu—" Hiro began.

"I'm tired and irritable and I don't recall inviting you two over," Shuichi growled out.

"Look, Shu, I was just worried about you," Hiro responded, looking hurt.

"Let me ask you a question then, Hiro. Why were you so concerned about me being over Eiri's? You know something that I don't? I want to know then _right now_," Shuichi said in a calm voice.

"I-I didn't know who he was, and I was worried that maybe you in danger. You didn't return to the club last night and you didn't come home, so what was I suppose to think?"

"You didn't know who he was? Like I will believe that, you were too damn excited when I told you where I was to _not_ know the guy!" Shuichi yelled. "Both of you get out!"

Hiro and K exchanged a look before leaving quietly. Shuichi sighed, going back into his bedroom to lie down. He was still tired. Five minutes after he closed his eyes, someone started banging on his front door. Groaning, Shuichi got up and went to it. Hiro was about to get an earful. He snatched the door open only to stare blankly. It wasn't Hiro, but the guy from his dreams. "Yu… ki…?"

**Chapter End**

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I would like to thank everyone for the reviews, and I hope I get a good amount for this chapter also. Reviews fuel my motivation. Tell me what you think of this chapter and story altogether. Thanks!

Also this story have fanart. Go to my profile page for it.


	6. Chapter 5

**Bittersweet Void**

Sorry that it took me so long to get this chapter out. I had writer's block and the cord to my laptop stopped working. Don't worry though, I have the rest of the story planned out, and the cord to my laptop has been replaced. Thank you everyone for the publicity that this story receives! You couldn't imagine how happy I become when I receive new notifications about this story. Well, I'm done wasting your time. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation

**Chapter Five**

Yuki stared in astonishment, mouth open and wide eyed. Shuichi just called him by name—his former name. He wasn't foolish enough to think that their relationship was going to repair just because the singer retained some off his memory, but this was a good start. He wondered what could have triggered Shuichi's memories, but brushed it aside and noticed his former lover's attire.

He closed his mouth and took in the sight before him. Shuichi wore nothing more than a white towel around his waist. His biceps were more defined, still small, but defined. His pectorals were—for lack of a better word—beautiful. His stomach was flat and beginning to form a six pack. His chest was hairless.

Lost in his thoughts about Shuichi's body, Yuki failed to realize that the singer was mere inches from him, studying his features. It wasn't until he felt a hand on his loop earring that the novelist noticed Shuichi. The fresh scent of a shower reached his nose. He had to hold himself still, fearing that he would do something that would upset Shuichi.

Shuichi carefully caressed the small silver loop. His attention then shifted to the blonde hair that sat on top of the taller man's head. He ran the golden locks through his fingers, reveling in the softness of it. Slowly, he let the strands fall free from his hand and took a step back, meeting the molten gaze of Yuki. This Yuki guy had golden eyes—Eiri's eyes. "Who are you?" Shuichi asked, composed.

"Yuki," the novelist said as if that was a sufficient explanation. It wasn't.

"You lie! What is your real name?" Shuichi asked, taking a defensive step back. This guy was clearly toying with his mind, and he didn't like that one bit.

Yuki held his hands up, showing that he meant no harm. When he was sure that Shuichi wouldn't go off on him or run, he decided to speak up. "My real name is Eiri Uesugi. My alias is Eiri Yuki."

Shuichi processed the information in his head. It all made sense… except the sudden change of hair color. The man in his dreams had blond hair, such as the one before him. But when he met him earlier, his hair was brown. What type of trick was this guy playing with him? "Why did you change your hair color?"

"To brown? Or back to blond?"

"Both."

"I changed it to brown because I felt that I needed a new start for a new me. Nothing too deep. As far as changing it back to blond goes…." Yuki didn't know how Shuichi would react if he told the young male the truth. He wanted Shuichi to remember him and their past. At first, he thought that his endeavors worked, but now he wasn't so sure.

"I'm waiting," Shuichi impatiently prompted.

"I wanted to trigger your memories…" Yuki finished. He watched Shuichi closely, trying to figure out what was going through his head. He doubted the boy would believe him, but it didn't hurt to try, did it? A long silence stretched out as Shuichi thought about what he had heard. Yuki was amazed at how subtle the black haired male had become. He couldn't tell anything by his carefully composed expression. It wasn't like his past Shuichi, whom was as easy to read as a book. This one was intelligent and in control of his actions. It was… arousing.

"What are you talking about?" Shuichi said after a while.

"Shuichi," Yuki began, causing the other male to tense and glare at him. He had forgotten that the vocalist didn't like him 'acting' like he knew him. "Sorry. Have you ever noticed how strange Nakano and K have been acting around you? Like they were sheltering you from an unknown threat?"

Shuichi's eyes widened. How did this stranger know his best friend and manager? Scratch that—how did he know how they acted around him? His head throbbed, alerting him that his headache was trying to resurface. He didn't need this right now. He needed to get some sleep and think over everything that he had just heard. "Yu…Uesugi, if you don't mind, I need some rest. I thank you for your… visit, but surely you didn't come all this way to mess with my head. If you are finished, then I will be going back to bed," Shuichi dismissed, turning to go inside.

"Shuichi, wait."

"We don't know each other, please stop addressing me so casually. It's weird and it makes you seem like a stalker," Shuichi explained, turning his amethyst gaze to the shocked novelist. The golden eyes flashed with emotion for a quick second before turning back to being impassive. Was that hurt in his eyes…? Awkward… The younger man shrugged it off. "What is it?"

Yuki fumbled around in his pocket for a while, producing a black leather wallet. He held it out to Shuichi, whom hesitantly took it, avoiding contact with the other man's hand.

"Why do you have my wallet?"

"It fell out of your pocket last night," Yuki lied.

"I see," Shuichi said, not believing the story, even though it was plausible. He grabbed his door to close it when Yuki's voice stopped him—again.

"I know that you have tried to remember your life before a little over a year ago, but without any luck. Your friends have been hiding the information from you. If you want to know what you can't remember, then you know where I li-"

"No. What part of _I don't know you_ do you not comprehend?"

"Fine." Yuki pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, scribbled something on it, and handed it to Shuichi. "If you want to meet somewhere public to talk, then contact me." With that, the novelist walked away.

Shuichi stared at the novelist's back until the man disappeared from sight. He then looked at the paper in his hand, noting that it was Yuki's number. He shrugged, closing his door.

Immediately, Shuichi headed toward the kitchen. Before grabbing a large glass out of the cupboard, he placed Yuki's number and his wallet on the counter. He then proceeded to get a large glass of water. He didn't want any effects lingering from his hangover when he woke up. Too tired to think about anything else, Shuichi went in his room to plop down on the bed. He would figure out what to do about Yuki at a later time.

* * *

Shuichi slowly became conscious. Upon opening his eyes, he groaned at the sunshine that filtered through the curtains. After giving his eyes ample time to adjust, he looked at the digital clock sitting on his night stand. He sighed when he saw that it was 4:39 in the afternoon, and forced himself into a sitting position on the side of the bed. He had been out for about six hours. He decided that the first thing he would do to start his day off would be to get dressed, considering he lost his towel sometime while he was asleep.

Shuichi headed into the kitchen after throwing on a pair of black sweat pants and a white t-shirt. When he went to grab the handle of the refrigerator door, the piece of paper with Yuki's number on it caught his eye. Instantly, memories of the past twenty-four hours replayed through his head—from the club to Yuki coming to his house. After the memories flooded him, Shuichi wasn't so hungry anymore.

His gaze wondered back to the small paper with a frown. The damned thing was mocking him. He sighed. He didn't want to call Yuki. The guy was too weird. If he didn't call the novelist, however, then he would never know about his past. Why did the guy have to offer him what he wanted to know on a golden platter? He felt like a dog that was being taunted by a bone. It wasn't fair.

Why couldn't he remember his own life? Shuichi tried to focus and remember what happened around the beginning of his music career, but his memories were too choppy. There were too many voids to actually recall his personal life around that time. He gave in. He had to call Yuki.

Reluctantly, Shuichi grabbed the number and headed toward his bedroom where his cell phone was in his pants. He grabbed the discarded clothing and reached in the pocket, pulling out his phone. Damn, his battery was low, but it should last him throughout the day. He dialed the number and waited for Yuki to answer. He picked up on the third ring.

"Hello," Yuki's deep voice said.

"Can you meet me in the park down the street from my place?" Shuichi asked, not feeling like beating around the bush.

"Shuichi?" Clearly Yuki was shocked that the vocalist would call him.

"Stop with the informality. And yes, it is me. Now can you meet me in the park in about thirty minutes or not?"

"Yes, I'll be there. If you don't mind me asking, why did you decide to call me?"

"Bye." Shuichi ignored the question and hung up the phone. After changing into some blue jeans and a black button up shirt, Shuichi grabbed a pair of sunglasses and a baseball cap. He didn't want to get attacked by crazed fans. Looking at the time, he realized that he had about twenty five minutes to spare, so he might as well walk.

After checking to make sure he had his phone, wallet, and keys, Shuichi put on his jacket and shoes before heading out the door. The wind was cool and enjoyable as he walked on the sidewalk at a leisurely pace. There was no reason for him to rush. Either way, he would make it to the park earlier than his given time.

Thoughts swirled through his mind about what he might find out about his past. Was it so horrible that he wouldn't want to remember it? Various scenarios and reasons came to mind. Did something traumatic happen to him? Was he a reformed convict running from the law? He laughed at himself. Somehow the convict theory was too wacky, even for him.

He stopped in mid-stride. Why was he going to listen to some random stranger about himself? For all he knew the guy could make up a lot of bullshit lies. He saw some other people on the sidewalk, looking at him strangely, so he resumed walking. Even with the distrust he held for Yuki, somehow he felt that the guy would tell him the truth, no matter how crazy the man seemed. He could at least hear Yuki out. The question was: would he be able to handle the truth?

Fear seeped into Shuichi's veins. What if he was better off not knowing? He shook the thought off. He could do this. He _would_ do this. He was a grown man. He didn't need to be afraid of an unknown part of his life. It was the past, right? So even if something completely ludicrous was revealed to him, he would deal with it.

Before Shuichi knew it, he was at the park—the same park that he went to when he left the club. Ironically, this was the same park he went to for his inspiration for songs. To him, the park held significance and he couldn't figure out why. He glanced at his phone for the time. He was five minutes early.

Instinctively, he headed toward the bench that he favored, only to find it already occupied by a male dressed in khakis and a blue long sleeve button-up shirt. He had blonde hair and dark sunglasses on. Upon closer inspection, Shuichi recognized that it was Yuki on the bench. Shuichi took a deep breath. He would not back out of this meeting. Plastering on a fake smile, he approached the older male.

"Were you waiting long?" Shuichi greeted, bypassing the bench to walk over to the railing that overlooked the city. He heard footsteps come from behind as Yuki took a spot beside him in front of the rail.

"No, I didn't expect you for a few more minutes, anyway," Yuki responded, not looking at Shuichi.

"Before I ask you anything else, how do you know about my past?" Shuichi asked, eyeing the other male behind his sunglasses.

Yuki sighed before answering. Of course… Start the conversation with a difficult question. He wouldn't just straight out tell the leader of _Bad Luck_ that he was his lover. "We were… close." Yuki looked at Shuichi to see how the black-haired male would take the information.

Close? Close friends… That made sense. If Yuki was his close friend then why didn't he remember the male other than the few warped dreams? Well, considering that the male made it to his dreams then maybe they were close friends. _"Wait, then why did Hiro try to protect me from this guy?"_ Shuichi decided to voice his question. "As believable as you sound, then why are my friends trying to keep me from you?"

Yuki visibly cringed. The male just had to ask another question that he didn't want to answer. "We would get into a lot of fights, and you would always get very upset afterwards. Hiro blamed me, and I do admit that the quarrels were my fault. He didn't like me hurting you."

Friends fight, so that story was also believable, too. Also, the fact that he was easily upset in the past was the truth. Shuichi finally concluded that Yuki did in fact know him, so he merely nodded. "How did we meet?"

Yuki was taken aback by the random question. He shifted his weight his hands by placing the on the railing, nervously. "We met in this park to be exact. You were writing lyrics, and I think you were past your deadline. It was at the beginning of your music career."

Shuichi nodded. Back then, he was always late for deadlines. Even when he was in high school and supposed to be performing for school events, he was never organized and rarely met deadlines. Okay, next question. "If we were friends then why haven't you been around the past year and a few months? Why did you decide to resurface now?"

"Well, I needed to get away. I had too much on my mind, and I needed to clear my head. The stress from my novels and a few personal issues caused me to go to New York for a small vacation."

The explanation made sense. Now that it was established that the male wasn't a stranger, Shuichi decided to stop being so harsh to Yuki about him addressing him so casually. Since the male seemed to know him. "Where did I live? Hiro said that I moved out of my house so that I could be independent, but moved in with him because I didn't want to be alone. Is that true?"

Yuki exhaled a breath out of his mouth. Hiroshi would tell a lie like that to cover up Shuichi living with him. He felt bad that he was the cause of Shuichi being lied to so much. "Well, that's not entirely true," he began cautiously, watching Shuichi closely for any signs of discomfort. When he found none, he continued. "You lived with me when you moved out of your parent's house. After I left, however, I think that you moved in with Nakano."

Why would Hiro lie about something as insignificant as living with this guy? Shuichi sighed. He would have to do some serious evaluation on his and Hiro's friendship. That was the least of his worries right now though. Why couldn't he remember this stuff? His memory was bad, but not this bad. "Is there any reason why I can't remember my past? Did I obtain amnesia by hitting my head too hard or something?"

"It is to my understanding that you were hypnotized," Yuki bluntly said, avoiding the reason why. This talk was deep, and he didn't expect Shuichi to ask him adequate questions. His lover was truly a man now.

Hypnotized. Shuichi turned the thought over in his mind. Why would he do something like that? Better yet, why would he live with someone other than Hiro? Through his fleeting thoughts, the kiss that he and Yuki shared this morning flashed through his mind. He became infuriated. Close friends didn't kiss one another. After composing himself enough so that he wouldn't yell, Shuichi turned a hard look to Yuki. "Why did you kiss me? You said that we were friends, but kissing isn't something that friends do, especially not male friends."

Yuki was shocked to say the least. The gods must have hated him. Just when things were slowly becoming normal between the two, Shuichi had to remember that. Well, there was no point in hiding their relationship no further. "I don't recall saying that we were friends. I said that we were close. To be completely honest, Shuichi… we were lovers."

Shuichi laughed a loud throaty laugh. To think that for once he actually believed Yuki. Lovers…? What a joke. Everything up until that point seemed plausible, but he was never gay. After his laughter died down, Shuichi's anger took hold. "You're sick! Here I thought that we were actually friends, when in reality you're nothing more than a stalking fan-boy! You're a fucking liar! How dare you mess with my head like that! Don't ever contact me again!" Shuichi shook with anger, clenching his hands into fists. He wanted so badly to punch the male in front of him. Sadly, he didn't need to go to jail for assault. To prevent acting out his thoughts, Shuichi stormed off.

Yuki longingly stared after the young male. He had already prepared himself for an outburst like that from Shuichi. It's not everyday where someone tells you that you were a homosexual. He would give the vocalist space for now, but he wouldn't give up. With a sigh, he headed towards his car.

* * *

Shuichi walked into his apartment. Yuki was insane, telling all of those lies. While Shuichi appreciated a good joke here and there, this was just plain cruel. He took off his shoes and headed towards the kitchen. He stopped in the hallway when he heard the television. Shuichi sighed and headed to the living room. He didn't want to waste his electricity.

When he reached the room, he stopped and stared at the television in shock. Separate pictures of him and Yuki were displayed on the screen. He rushed to turn up the volume.

"There have been reports that Shuichi Shindo—lead singer of _Bad Luck—_and Eiri Yuki—famous romance novelist—have been sighted together after the novelist returned from his hiatus." A video of Shuichi running from Yuki's apartment showed after the pictures were removed. "Here, you see Mr. Shindo leaving from Yuki's apartment this morning." A picture of Shuichi touching Yuki's hair appeared on the screen. "And here you see that their love is still hot and heavy. Tokyo's most loved couple is back, and apparently, their love is still strong. You may remember over a year ago, the novelist declared on live television that he and Mr. Shindo were lovers with his arm around the singer." A picture of a lost looking Shuichi and a smug looking Yuki appeared on the screen.

Shuichi turned off the television. If he was pissed before, then it was tenfold now. What the fuck was going on? Without thinking, he pulled out his cell phone and called Yuki's number from the recently dialed list. When the other end picked up, Shuichi practically roared into the phone. "What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't know what kind of trick you are trying to pull, but this shit needs to stop now!"

"Shuichi, what are you talking about?" Yuki asked, puzzled.

"Don't think that I didn't see that little stunt that you pulled on the news! The last picture with me and you was a complete fucking lie! It could have been easily put together on the computer! Just what the fuck are you trying to pull?"

"I'm not trying to pull anything! What are you talking about?"

Shuichi hung up the phone. He was tired of Yuki telling him lie after lie. It was getting old, and he was tired of all of the stupid games. His phone started ringing, causing him to look at the caller identification. When Yuki's number popped up, he hurled the phone at the wall, breaking it into pieces. He wasn't Yuki's lover—not then, not now, not ever. He headed toward the door. He needed answers.

* * *

Yuki stared at his phone after it went to Shuichi's voicemail. He went into his living room and turned the television on. After changing it to the news station, he saw that they were doing a story on his and Shuichi's relationship. When did the paparazzi start back to messing with them?

A loud banging emitted from his front door, startling Yuki. He wasn't expecting a visitor, so why was somebody here? He headed to the door and yanked it open with aggravation. He was shocked to see Shuichi's manager. Out of all people, why would he come?

"We need to talk," K said with a harsh voice.

Yuki glared at the man, but stepped aside to let him in. Although he was pretty sure it was about Shuichi, Yuki wanted to verify the cause for the visit. "What is this about?" Yuki led the man into the living room.

K took off his shoes and followed the other blond into the living room. He sat down on his couch and looked at the television. He then cursed under his breath about the Yuki and Shuichi story.

"What was that?" Yuki asked, eyeing the man suspiciously.

"Touma didn't hesitate to remove the restriction of displaying your relationship to the media."

"What restriction," Yuki asked, sitting down some distance away from the other male.

K turned his attention to the novelist. "He stopped the news and magazines from displaying stories of your relationship with Shuichi after the hypnosis. I see that he has taken that back now."

"I'm sure that you didn't come here just to tell me that. Get to the point." Yuki gripped his knee. _"Damn Seguchi!"_

K glared at Yuki for his rudeness, but started talking anyways. "If you do anything, and I mean anything, to mess up Shuichi's music career, you will hear from me. You got that?" K stroked the pistol on his chest holster to emphasize his point.

Yuki scoffed. "Rest assured, I didn't come back to hurt Shuichi."

"I still believe that you should have stayed away," K glowered, "Why did you come back anyways?"

Yuki groaned as a headache started. Why didn't people mind their own fucking business? "Not that it is any of your concern, but I came back for Shuichi."

"You what?"

* * *

"Shu, what are you doing here?" Hiro asked as he let the other man inside of his apartment.

Shuichi brushed by Hiro, taking off his shoes at the door. He ignored the brunet's questions and walked over to the couch, sitting down. When Hiro sat beside him, patiently waiting for an answer, he began. "Hiro, I want the lies to stop now. If you are going to continue to lie to me, then I'm afraid that we can't be friends anymore."

Hiro exhaled heavily, and put his forehead against his intertwined hands; his elbows rested on his knees. He closed his eyes briefly before turning to meet the angry amethyst eyes. "What do you want to know?"

"Did Yuki and I used to be lovers?"

Hiro took a moment before answering. "Yes."

**Chapter End**

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Tell me how it was, I'm dying to know. Too much drama? Too little drama? Too much Shuichi and Yuki? Too little Shuichi and Yuki? Too many people not minding their own business? How do you like the new Shuichi? Too long? Too short? Any questions?

Don't forget to check out the fanart for this story on my profile page!


	7. Chapter 6

**Bittersweet Void**

Here is the long awaited chapter six. It is longer than all of my other chapters, so get comfortable. I would like to thank everyone for the publicity—alerts, favorites, and reviews— that this story receives. Well, let me stop wasting your time. Read, enjoy, and review.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation

**Chapter Six**

Shuichi stiffened, pondering over the information that he had just received. Emotions rushed him like a tidal wave. It wasn't often that your best friend told you that you used to be—that you _are_—a homosexual. Anger flared in the mist of denial. He wanted to yell at his best friend and tell the guy that he was a liar, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He _was_ the one who asked for answers, and he should have been prepared for the truth, no matter how much the truth sucked and almost made him hurl. Getting angry at his guitarist would solve nothing. If he needed to get mad at anyone, he should be mad at himself.

He took a couple of deep breaths and uncurled his hands from the fists that they were in. He needed to calm down and think things through. Could something that happened over a year ago actually affect him today? It wasn't like he was being told that he had a terminal illness; there was no reason for alarm. He didn't even remember having Yuki as a lover, so why overreact? It was pointless, and it wouldn't get him anywhere. Even though he didn't approve of his past actions, he refused to blow the whole thing out of proportion.

He opened his eyes, unaware that he had closed them, and looked at a tense Hiro. He still wanted some answers. Ignorance is bliss be damned! "Why did you lie to me about Yuki and I… having a relationship?" It sounded so wrong to speak of himself being intimate with a guy; it meant that he was being accepting of his old ways. He shuddered at the thought. He would never accept his old ways with open arms. When he realized that he was ignoring the set of blue eyes that were fixed on him, Shuichi ceased his internal rants. He needed to give the older male his full attention. He took another deep breath to prepare himself for what was thrown at him next. He nodded for his best friend to continue.

"Shuichi, are you sure that you want to have this conversation?" Hiro asked. Worry laced into his voice. He let out a nervous chuckle when Shuichi's amethyst eyes turned into a flat look.

"No, Hiro, I'm asking a question because I don't want an answer. It's for my health," Shuichi barked. Hiro could be a real airhead at times despite the fact that he was very intelligent. "And while you _are_ answering my first question, you can _also_ tell me why I got hypnotized."

Hiro frowned. How did Shuichi know that he got hypnotized? He either remembered it or somebody opened their mouth, and neither was a good thing. He should have known that things were going to start coming into the light when Yuki came back to Tokyo. Concern began to set in when he thought about the effects that Yuki might have on Shuichi. His thoughts were interrupted when the vocalist cleared his throat as an attention getter. He briefly contemplated telling a lie, but decided against it at the younger male's agitation. "I lied because you got hypnotized to forget about Yuki. He had broken your heart, and you didn't want to remember hi—"

"Forget that I asked! Please, you are making me sick. I sound like… a woman on her menstrual cycle." Shuichi shuddered again. He did all of that for a guy? He sounded like a real drama queen, and he couldn't imagine going to such measures for anyone, at least not now.

Despite being told about the craziness of some of his past, Shuichi was relieved. If this was all that his best friend was hiding, then he didn't need to worry about anything else. His past was his past, and getting hypnotized turned him into the person he is today. Where would he be now if he was still the whiney little brat that he used to be? He paled visibly at the thought of being with that crazy Yuki guy. The thought of having a guy as a lover still disturbed him. "Hiro, thank you for everything that you've done, but you don't need to protect me anymore. I am a grown man, and I can look out for myself."

"I know, Shu. I just can't help but try to protect you. It is kind of odd seeing that you've grown up so much."

"Okay, um let's just stop with the mushiness." Shuichi stood up, ready to leave. He had taken care of his business here, and he was pretty sure that the knowledge of him and Yuki being lovers was enough to give him nightmares for the next few days. He was a heterosexual—only attracted to women. He frowned upon realization how wrong his statement was. He actually wasn't attracted to anyone. _"Except Yuki."_ Where the hell did come from? He wasn't gay… He was… asexual. Yes, asexual sounded about right! Was the alcohol still in his system? That had to be the only logical explanation. He needed air, quick.

"I am leaving, see you Monday." He was almost to the door when Hiro's bedroom door opened. Out of curiosity, he turned around to see who could possibly be here besides him and his best friend. A woman with long brown hair and dark blue eyes was in the hallway, wearing nothing but an oversized white t-shirt that looked like it belonged to Hiro, considering the way that it fell to her knees.

"Hiro, who was at the door? Oh, Mr. Shindo, I didn't see you there!" The girl's face flushed with embarrassment. She excused herself and went back into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Shuichi kept staring at the closed door. The woman seemed so familiar, but he was certain that he had never seen her before. He looked to Hiro, noticing that the male was shirtless, and then averted his eyes back to the door. Where had he seen her before?

"_Someone is waiting for you, Ayaka. Look," Shuichi said, pointing a finger at a man that sat on a couch with his back turned. _

"_Who?" Ayaka looked in the direction of Shuichi's finger, gasping when she saw who it was._

"_I've finally found you, Miss Ayaka." A man that resembled Yuki, despite the hair and eye color, stood and turned toward the girl._

"_What? Di-did you follow me, Tatsuha?" the girl, known as Ayaka, asked. _

"_Well, your family wants you to come home." Tatsuha walked closer to the girl, stopping a few feet away._

"_N-no, I'm not going back home. Not now, not until I see Eiri."_

"_What, Eiri?" Shuichi looked backwards at Tatsuha before returning his gaze to Ayaka. "But I thought you and," he looked back to Tatsuha again, then to Ayaka. "But I thought you were looking for him." He pointed at Tatsuha._

"_Didn't I tell you?" Tatsuha asked, gaining Shuichi's attention. "Ayaka is my bro's fiancée."_

"Shuichi? Shuichi!" Hiro yelled, trying to bring his friend back to the present.

"Huh?" Shuichi asked confused as to why Hiro was yelling and waving his hand in front of his face. Then the information from his vision—which he concluded was a flashback—sunk in. Hiro was lying, telling him that he dated Yuki. He now knew for a fact that the man had a female fiancée; Hiro just so happened to be banging the said fiancée. He didn't know what type of sick mind games that his friend was playing, but he didn't like it. You don't go around telling your so-called best friend that he is gay as means of a joke. It was far from funny. "You asshole! You're a fucking liar! Get away from me!" He pushed the other male away, causing him to stumble back. He ran for the door, slamming it when he made it outside.

He ran, mad and confused as to why Hiro would lie to him like that. He needed to get home; he needed time to clear his head. Nothing made sense to him. Everyone and everything around him seemed superficial, fake. Nothing seemed like the truth. He was in a hellish nightmare full of lies and deceit.

_A door opened, revealing a surprised Eiri Yuki._

"_And after two years, look who's here," Tatsuha announced Ayaka._

_Ayaka looked to the ground. "I am, h-hello, Eiri."_

_Yuki turned his golden eyes toward Shuichi._

"_Uh, Shuichi here insisted that we bring Ayaka here to see you. I told him that it was a bad idea since it would complicate things, but…" Tatsuha trailed off._

_Yuki closed his eyes and tilted his head downward with a smug look. "I see." He stepped aside. "Thank you for making a long trip to come here, please come in, Miss Ayaka."_

_Ayaka looked up to the blond. "I want to say…." She stumbled forward, fainting from the lack of sleep._

_Yuki caught her by the shoulders, staring at her for some time before looking up to his brother and Shuichi. "I'll take care of her now. You guys can get out of here."_

Shuichi glowered. He couldn't believe that he would even for once believe Hiro's lies. At the time the male had seemed so sincere, and he couldn't help but go along with the story. He actually thought that he used to be gay.

Too absorbed in thoughts, he knocked somebody over when he ran into them. He got up and apologized, offering the person a hand. He ignored the undignified response from the male and his friends as he pulled the guy off of the ground. Angry brown, droopy eyes glared at him. _"Droopy eyes, black hair…."_

_Shuichi was in a parking garage. He was fighting with three guys as the fourth stood back, smiling. The fourth guy was the same one that he had run into on the sidewalk. Taki Aizawa._

_He had got hit by one of the guys and fell onto his butt. The locations where he had gotten hit hurt, and he knew that he couldn't win the fight._

"_Never mind Bad Luck. I wonder what Eiri Yuki's fans and the media will think about this," Taki said wearing a smirk._

_Shuichi was infuriated. He looked up at Taki and growled. "Drop dead you loser!" He got up and charged at the black haired male only to be punched in the stomach, hard. Spit flew from his mouth, and he hunched over, grabbing his stomach with both hands. He was immobilized by the pain giving his three attackers time to advance on him. What he wouldn't give to wipe that smirk off of Aizawa's face right now. Two of the three men pinned his arms behind his back._

"_Come on, stand up straight, bro" one of the guys demanded, pulling him into an upright position._

"_What's wrong, is your tummy hurting?" the other taunted, lifting his shirt as he ran his free hand across his bare skin._

_Shuichi's pain was pushed to the back of his mind as a lesser problem. It was replaced by the fear of the events that he knew would unfold._

"_If you cooperate and do as I say, I'll guarantee that Eiri Yuki's reputation would stay intact." _

_Fear of the situation was forgotten, pushed aside by his hatred for the man in front of him. Taki should be glad that he was bound because if he was free then he would make sure to silence the man…permanently._

_Taki walked up to him and grabbed a handful of his pink hair. He began speaking, but Shuichi didn't hear what he said, he was too pissed to listen to Taki's nonsense. He only caught something about getting back at Yuki. The only think that he could think of was knocking the man's lights out. When the dark haired male finished speaking, Shuichi smirked. "You can go to hell."_

_Taki growled at the young male's rash statement._

"_This doesn't have anything to do with Yuki. If you mess with him even death won't stop me from coming after your ass," Shuichi threatened. _

_Taki took a step back in fear, releasing the vibrant pink hair. He was pissed, but he was also slightly afraid of the crazy gleam in those amethyst eyes. He wiped his chin nervously. "Death, huh? Well since you're willing to go to that length, we'll let you have your way."_

_Shuichi's view of Taki was blocked when the third guy who attacked him stepped in the way. When the guy licked his lips, he knew that he had said the wrong thing. He started struggling, trying to escape his captors to no avail. There was no escaping._

_Since he couldn't get away from his attackers physically, Shuichi tried to get away mentally. He closed his mind on the sexual assault so that he couldn't experience it. He could only vaguely make out the hands that were all over his body, touching him in his most private areas. Slight shots of pain coursed through him, but he refused to acknowledge it, he wouldn't give those bastards the satisfaction. Bright flashes of light clouded his vision, like the flash of a camera. He withdrew from the physical world, praying silently that it would all be over._

"What the hell is your problem?" a heated familiar voice yelled, bringing Shuichi out of his daydream.

"Taki?" he asked, discombobulated.

The dark-haired male snarled and forcefully pushed Shuichi. "Stay outta my way!"

Shuichi's confusion dissolved into fury and abhorrence. He shook with rage. Instinctively he balled his right hand into a fist and decked the man in the jaw with all of his power causing an audible crack to ring through his ears. It wasn't satisfying, so Shuichi followed up with a left hook. An arm wrapped around his stomach from behind and pulled him away from Taki's bleeding face.

Terror consumed his mind, taking him back to the parking garage and he knew that he had to get away from whoever was holding him. He threw his elbow backwards earning a grunt from Aizawa's blond-haired companion. Once he was free from the man's grasp he ran, praying that he make it the three blocks to his condo.

He didn't feel like the twenty year old male that he was. He felt like the pink-haired boy in the parking garage. Terror-laced adrenaline pumped through his veins and he knew that he couldn't stop running, not until he was in the safety of his home. His mind raced with fleeting, incoherent thoughts. He ran through traffic avoiding oncoming cars, ignoring the crosswalk light that instructed pedestrians to stop. He couldn't stop

It wasn't until Shuichi slammed his door shut that he paused to catch his breath. His head pounded and his hands throbbed. He looked down to see that his knuckles were beginning to bruise. Kicking off his shoes, he went to his bathroom to rinse it with cool water to alleviate the ache. Looking up into the mirror he saw that he was crying and sobbing. When did he start crying? His eyes widened when he noticed that his hair was pink. He closed his eyes, this was just an illusion. A dark chuckle reached his ears, and he looked around, paranoid. He didn't feel safe. When he found that there was no source that the laughter could have come from, he walked into the hallway.

Shuichi couldn't stay here alone; he didn't feel secure. What if those guys came back for him? He felt invisible hands on his body, just like in his vision. It was too traumatic to think about. He closed in on himself, and it felt like he was falling into a black hole, not to resurface until it was safe. He went into auto-pilot, not thinking about his actions, relying on instinct. He walked to the door and slipped his shoes back on. The need to go to a secure placed overwhelmed him. His heart knew of only one person who could protect him.

* * *

Yuki was relieved when K finally left. The male, however calm he may have seemed, kept throwing threats at him about not hurting Shuichi again. K's lecture caused him to think heavily on the situation. Was he really so cruel to his ex-lover? After remembering the numerous times that he kicked Shuichi out for petty reasons, a wave of guilt washed through him.

He headed toward his bedroom. He was so lonely without his better half there. He found himself grabbing his stainless steel lighter off of the nightstand, gazing at the picture that was taken at the amusement park. Shuichi was so happy that day, and what did he do? He left the boy without so much of a reason, and headed for New York. How could he be so stupid?

A frantic knocking interrupted Yuki's stroll down memory lane. Whoever it was had better have a good reason for banging like they were the police. "I'm coming!" The person on the other end of the door didn't cease the horrid noise that drove into his brain. A headache was definitely on its way. "I said I'm coming, dammit!" He reached the door and snatched it open, almost yanking it off of its hinges.

The sight before Yuki was enough to shatter his heart. Shuichi was crying his eyes out, and looking so lost and scared. This wasn't the confident, smart mouthed and mature man that he had encountered so much recently. He wanted nothing more than to embrace the crying male and tell him that everything was okay. However, considering the way that Shuichi had acted toward him recently, he didn't know if that would be such a good idea.

Shuichi stared at the taller male as best that he could with his blurry sight. This person was his shelter from all things evil. He launched himself into the stunned man's arms, embracing his personal sanctuary. He knew that he was safe once their bodies connected. His smaller form molded into the larger one, fitting together like the pieces of a puzzle. He was whole again, questioning how he ever survived without the other man for so long.

He buried his head into Yuki's chest, savoring the serenity that his strong arms created. Gentle hands stroked his hair as he listened to the sound of his salvation's heartbeat. It was a soothing lullaby that held his fears at bay. Too focused on the erratic thudding, Shuichi forgot why he was even afraid in the first place. His tears slowed, and he became engulfed in the body heat emitting from Yuki.

Yuki was shocked—to say the least. He hadn't expected Shuichi to thrown himself at him. He held the boy for what seemed like forever, petting his silky black hair until his sobs quieted down. The slight gust from the door told him that he had left it open. After repositioning the boy so that one hand was free, he closed the door. He didn't want to move Shuichi, but he also didn't want to stand in the hallway. "Come on; let's go to the living room."

That voice—it was so beautiful, so smooth. He wanted to do anything that the voice wanted him to do. Not trusting his own voice, Shuichi nodded. He wanted to complain when the broad chest moved away from him, but he stay silent, satisfied when an arm draped around his shoulders to guide him into the living room.

When they made it to the living room, Yuki sat down, ushering Shuichi beside him. Afraid to be separated, he straddled the older male's hips and settled himself in his lap. He put his arms around Yuki and laid his head on his chest to listen to his heartbeat again. When the blond returned the embrace and laid his chin on the top of his head, Shuichi let out a content sigh.

A hurricane of thoughts swirled around in Yuki's head. He was elated that he had his Shuichi here with him, but he was upset that the male had come to him crying. He wanted to ask the singer what was wrong, yet he feared that he would ruin this perfect moment in time. He chose to sit quietly and rub circles on Shuichi's back.

Time passed and neither said a word. Yuki's concern for Shuichi's earlier tears only grew, until it reached the point where he couldn't take it anymore. "Shuichi, why were you crying?"

Shuichi's heart fluttered. That precious voice had addressed him by name. He tried to think about the question that the other man had asked, but came up short of an answer. Why was he crying? A vague memory of intense pain came to mind and immediately he shut the door on it, shying away from the trauma. He didn't want to remember. He was safe at the moment in the arms of his angel, and he wouldn't spoil it by bringing up old stuff. A shrug of his shoulders gave the novelist his answer.

Not satisfied with the answer he received, yet unwilling to probe Shuichi for the answers, Yuki sat silently once more. Shuichi must have grown uncomfortable because he repositioned himself in the writer's lap, brushing their groins together. Yuki bit back a moan, and silently cursed his body when it responded to the accidental brush.

Shuichi whimpered at the contact. He hadn't meant to grind their hips together, but the sensation that jolted through him was amazing. The need for security was quickly forgotten, and the need for sexual release set in. He nuzzled Yuki's neck, taking in the masculine scent. He placed a feather light kiss on the blonde's neck, unable to control himself. His yearning for the gorgeous creature under him only intensified his horniness.

"Shuichi, what are you doing?" Yuki moaned out. He didn't want to take advantage of the singer, especially after the crying episode earlier, but if he didn't stop with his sensual actions then Yuki would take him. When the singer didn't respond and answered with a nip on his neck, he almost lost his mind as his erection grew. He tried to ignore the lips on his neck, tried to ignore how the kiss turned into many. The younger male was now paying attention to every piece of exposed skin on his neck with his mouth, and it was driving him insane. He attempted one last time to stop the male verbally before he lost all of his control. "Shui—"

Shuichi silenced him with a passionate, rough kiss on the lips. He didn't want to talk. He wanted to get lost in the sensation that was overshadowing him. He watched with satisfaction as the golden eyes clouded over, and he knew he had won. Yuki parted his lips, and he didn't hesitate to indulge in the welcoming heat. He grabbed handfuls of the golden locks, holding them together as their tongues waged war for dominance.

Yuki grew agitated at the amount of clothes that he and the pop star was wearing. It was too hot! He gripped Shuichi's firm butt and stood, picking him up. The vocalist wrapped his legs around his waist, never breaking the contact of the kiss. He headed to the bedroom, too far gone to remember his morals about not taking advantage of Shuichi.

He broke from the kiss when he felt the edge of the bed on his knees. He sat Shuichi on the bed, earning a sound of disapproval, and starting to undo the buttons on his shirt. He was stopped by strong hands. Looking up, he met a determined gaze, so he let Shuichi finish opening his shirt. Chest fully exposed, he discarded the shirt while the singer unbuttoned and unzipped his khakis. He recaptured the younger male's lips before he could completely strip him, and forced Shuichi to lie on his back. He moved the younger male on the bed so that they were at the head of it.

Shuichi, refused to be dominated, and rolled the two over; he was on top now. He ceased any forms of objection from the novelist by pulling the male's pants and underwear off with one swift motion, leaving his body fully exposed.

Yuki gasped at the sudden aggressive nature of his lover. He moved to regain control, but stopped when Shuichi's tongue flicked over his left nipple. He moaned at the sensation, forgetting what he was about to do. He grabbed onto the black locks, holding Shuichi to him. It felt incredible!

Shuichi reveled in the glorious small sounds he was able to drag out of the golden beauty beneath him. They were so arousing, and they boosted his motivation to keep his self-control so that he could create more of them. He switched his mouth to the other nipple, teasing the opposing one with his fingers. The hands in his hair only encouraged him more. He glided his free hand down Yuki's smooth chest, stopping when he reached the organ between his legs. If he thought the previous sounds that the older man made were glorious, then he hadn't heard nothing until now.

Yuki writhed on the bed, trying to hold out on his orgasm. When did Shuichi become so skilled? It was maddening, and it took every ounce of his power to not beg for more like a wanton slut. The firm hand stroking him was almost too much. Mix that with the singer lavishing his nipples and you had a full recipe for ecstasy. He took deep breathes, refusing to orgasm so early. He had successfully calmed down; however, Shuichi wasn't stopping at only pleasuring him with his hand. His breathe rushed out of his lungs when the singer's hand was replaced by his mouth. It was such a sinful delight that it should have been illegal.

The singer chuckled darkly at how the novelist was putty in his hands. He wanted to make sure that he paid homage to the perfect body under him; it would feel like a crime if he didn't. The pain that penetrated his scalp from Yuki's knuckles was welcome. It meant that he was doing something right. He enjoyed every lick and suck of the man's sensitive flesh. He was determined to make the male cum. And judging from Yuki's reactions, he wasn't too far off.

He couldn't take it anymore; a strangled cry echoed through the room as Yuki exploded. Shuichi's assault left him panting and sweating heavily. Too lost in the after effects of his orgasm, Yuki didn't notice his night stand drawer opening and closing. He hissed when he felt two lubed fingers penetrate him. It was slightly uncomfortable, but nothing too major. Soon, however, the pain was replaced by pure bliss. He melted in the feeling that those fingers created. He was floating on cloud nine, without the desire to come down. He wanted to complain when Shuichi withdrew his hand, but kept quiet when the younger male's body blanketed his own. When did Shuichi strip?

Amethyst eyes met golden ones, looking for approval to continue. When he was pulled down for a kiss, Shuichi took this as a cue to enter, fully sheathing himself in the welcoming heat. A sharp intake of air caused him to halt his actions. After a short break and a nod to proceed, Shuichi continued with sure deep strokes. He missed his lover so much, missed everything that they shared. He was so lost without him. But now, they were one. He couldn't tell where he stopped or where Yuki began. Yuki was his salvation, his heart, his everything. He never wanted this moment to end, ever.

* * *

Slowly, he arose from his mental cocoon of protection. When he felt that there was no danger, he fully merged with his mind. He slightly remembered having a dream where he was running from his past in fright. Then someone comforted him, supporting him with the sweetest love. Then the person presented him a feeling of being complete. The details were blurry and it was a dream after all, so he pushed it aside.

The morning sun spilled through the curtains, attempting to make its way past his closed eyelids. That was odd considering the last time that he was outside it was midday. He didn't remember falling asleep, and he yawned, willing his body to come to life. He was very tired for some reason, even though he felt like he had slept for hours.

He willed his body to cooperate, focusing on his sense of feeling. His nose decided to work before his body, revealing a very familiar scent. It took him a few moments to recognize that it was Yuki's. Why did he smell that man when he was nowhere near him? His body finally came around and it felt like he was lying on someone's body with their hands wrapped around him. Alarmed, he tried to sit up, but his body declined his mind's wishes. He opened his eyes, frightened of what he might see, only to reveal a sleeping angel. Why the hell was sleeping with Yuki?

Panic set in and he found the strength to scramble off the bed, falling on his ass, wrapped in a heap of covers. His eyes almost bulged out of his head when he saw that the other man was completely naked. _"Maybe he just sleeps nude. Shuichi, you are fully dressed, calm down." _He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Gradually, he opened his eyes and peeked under the covers that surrounded his body, almost fainting when he saw that he was naked. "What the fuck!" He didn't just fucking sleep with an engaged man. He was a lot of things, but he wasn't gay nor was he a home wrecker.

Yuki jumped up, startled when he heard Shuichi scream—those were definitely the lungs of a singer. His ears rung and he looked over to the dark haired male. He looked like a deer caught in traffic lights. "Shuichi, what's wrong?" He tried to get out of bed, but stopped when pain shot through him. That's right; Shuichi was on top last night. However, he couldn't be bothered with the ache at this moment; he had more important matters to deal with.

"Stay the fuck away from me!" Shuichi yelled. He tried to stand with the covers clutched to him to hide his nude body. As fast as he could, he scurried around the room to collect his clothes. When Yuki appeared in front of him asking was he okay, he plastered himself to the wall. "Get that thing away from me, you freak! I swear I will fucking prevent you from ever having kids!"

Yuki sighed heavily, Shuichi had more mood swings than a female. He comes over crying the night before, throws himself in his arms, cuddles with him, fucks his brains out, and then wakes up the next morning yelling at him. He walked over to his forgotten pair of boxers and slid them on before turning back to the vocalist. "Shuichi, why are you acting like this?"

"Why? Why the fuck did I wake up in the bed with you?" Shuichi had just finished pulling on his shirt.

"Shu, you came over last night."

"No the hell I didn't!" He finished buttoning his shirt—never mind that the buttons were in the wrong places.

"You did. You were crying. You literally threw yourself in my arms. After you calmed down, _you_ practically ripped _my_ clothes off."

Shuichi paled. The guy was lying, right? Right? A foreign bottle caught his eye on the night stand and he had to swallow back bile. Was that a container of lube? This was not happening! He had fucked a man. "This did not happen," he murmured to himself.

"You can't deny it."

"It was a horrible mistake and as far as I'm concerned it never happened! Stay the hell away from me!" Shuichi ran out of the bedroom.

**Chapter End**

I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. I must admit that I am nervous about how this chapter will be received by readers. Please tell me what your thoughts are about this chapter in a review. Too much drama? Too little drama? Liked the lemon? Hated the lemon? Too long? Too short? Was the chapter great? Did the chapter suck? Remember reviews motivate me to no end. ^_^

If there was anything that confused you about this chapter leave a review with your question and I will answer you personally.


	8. Chapter 7

**Bittersweet Void**

I tried to get this chapter out as soon as possible. The reviews that rolled in on the last chapter motivated me to rush this one—without taking my usual break between chapters. I love all of you! You guys are the greatest readers ever. I would like to thank everyone for the publicity—alerts, favorites, and reviews— that this story receives. Well, let me stop wasting your time. Read, enjoy, and review.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation

**Chapter Seven**

Yuki stared at the opened bedroom door for longer than he needed to. With a loud sigh, he looked at the clock. It was a little after eight in the morning. Too worked up to go back to sleep, he decided that a shower would do him some good after he secured the front door, of course. He made sure that the doorknob and deadbolt were locked before heading to the bathroom.

The hot water helped to alleviate his aching muscles, but did nothing for his heart. He didn't know how much longer he could deal with Shuichi's mood swings. He was getting whiplash. One second the singer was yelling at him, and the next, was in his arms. It was as if he was facing some inner turmoil between his mind and heart. After last night, Yuki knew for sure that he still had Shuichi's heart. Did he come to him on a subconscious level? It seemed plausible, considering the way Shuichi acted when he woke up—like he wasn't aware of his actions the night before.

He stayed in the shower until his skin pruned and the water was cold. He was trying to collect his thoughts. He went to the bedroom to dress. He had just finished pulling on a pair of khakis when a knock at the front door interrupted him. He glanced at the clock, for the second time, and scowled when he noticed it was almost ten. The unknown person was lucky that he was already awake, otherwise he would have ripped them a new asshole.

Yuki walked to the door and opened it, stifling a yawn. After seeing who it was, he slammed the door in the person's face. He didn't have the tolerance to deal with Touma at the moment. In hopes of making his coffee, he turned. However, the blonde's voice chimed, halting his movements.

"Eiri, you know you should really lock your door when you close it. People might walked into your apartment, unwelcomed," Touma scolded with his eerie smile in place.

"Like somebody just did? And for your information, it was locked until I opened it for you. Now, you better have a good reason for keeping me from my coffee and walking into my house." Yuki walked away, not waiting for a response. He needed his coffee. He was also behind on his work, but that could wait until after he got caffeinated.

"I haven't heard from you in a while. I was just checking up on you." Touma followed Yuki into the kitchen like a lost puppy.

"I'm alive, now get out." Yuki began to prepare the coffee maker.

Touma, unfazed by the harshness, took a seat while Yuki prepared his drink. "How are things going with you and Mr. Shindo?"

Yuki stiffened at the mentioning of his former lover's name. After last night, he didn't know what to think. He wouldn't tell Touma what happened, but he wasn't going to act like everything was peachy. "He hates me." A blunt statement should shut Touma up, right? Wrong.

"What do you mean by he hates you?" Touma's trademark smile dropped.

"I did something stupid last night, so he hates me," Yuki said nonchalantly. He poured himself a cup and sat across from Touma, wincing at the slight pain.

"How are you feeling?"

Yuki shot a glare at Touma. He never remembered asking for a therapist. "I'm fine." He took a sip, hoping his brother-in-law would just drop the subject.

"What would you say if I told you that I can help?"

"The same thing you would say if I told you to go to hell." He took another sip, savoring the flavor.

"What if I told you that I can arrange for you to be able to stay with Mr. Shindo at his condominium for a while?"

In the middle of sipping his coffee, Yuki spit it out all over the table.

* * *

Shuichi was confused. He had physical proof that he had slept with Yuki and denying it got him nowhere. He didn't remember what had happened because it all seemed like a distant dream. He couldn't recall how he had made it to the novelist's apartment. Did he really run there crying? His memory was failing him as he racked his brain for answers.

He felt like he was missing something—like he was incomplete. Each step away from Yuki's place seemed like it took effort as if he didn't want to be separated. What was wrong with him today?

He pulled out his keys and entered his condo. As soon as the door opened, somebody flew at him, knocking him down with the force. He groaned in pain when his back collided with the ground.

"Shuichi! Where did you go? Kumagoro and me was worried sick about you. You ran off so fast and didn't bother to lock your door, so I watched over your place for you." Ryuichi got up, offering Shuichi a hand with his pink rabbit in the other.

Shuichi grabbed the hand and stood. "It's okay." He really couldn't get mad at his idol. Wait, the guy said that he had run off last night… maybe he did go to Yuki's. He wondered what else the guy knew. He had known Ryuichi since before he had got hypnotized, so he had to know something, right? "Hey, Ryuichi, what all do you know about me?"

"I know that you are my friend!" Ryuichi smiled, not understanding the depth of the question.

"Did I used to… Did I used to be gay?" Shuichi shivered. Used to be? He had banged a man last night. The real question was: is he _still_ gay.

Ryuichi's persona changed from that of a child to that of a man. This was a serious conversation. "Let's go inside, Shu." He gestured his hand toward the open door.

Shuichi was startled. He had only seen this side of his idol when he was singing and only once off stage. He walked through the door with the singer of Nittle Grasper following. He headed to the living room, after taking off his shoes. He sat down on the couch and waited for the revelation.

"The answer to your question is yes, you were a homosexual. You and Yuki were lovers, and you were deeply in love with the man. Your world revolved around him." Ryuichi's gaze penetrated deeply into Shuichi's. He was looking for any signs of discomfort.

Three people and the news media just didn't tell you the same thing. Shuichi swallowed hard. He had feared this truth, more so now than when Hiro had told him. This was bad—very bad. "I see."

"Where did you go to last night?"

Shuichi didn't answer, he couldn't answer. He didn't want to actually believe that he had went to his ex-boyfriend's place, it was nothing but a dream right? He sighed. Dreams didn't end up with you in someone else's bed.

Ryuichi took this silence as an answer. Somehow he knew that Shuichi had gone to Yuki's. His friend was looking so distraught; his pain was palpable. He didn't like it when the pop star was distressed. "What happened, Shu?"

What did happen? He only knew bits and pieces to what occurred yesterday. "I don't know. You said that I ran out of my house yesterday. He said that I came over to his place in tears. The only thing that I know is that when I woke up, I was in his… _ah_ we had…."

"You guys got intimate, and you didn't remember any of it? Am I right?" Ryuichi patiently waited. Shuichi nodded, giving him the answer. "How do you feel about Yuki, now that he has come back?"

"I don't know who he is. Every time I'm around him he acts all creepy. I used to see him as a crazy fan-boy. Now I guess he is an ex-lover." Shuichi was embarrassed, but Ryuichi was proving as easy to talk to.

"So basically you don't like him at all?"

"No, how could I? I'm not into guys, and I don't know him."

"What happened yesterday that caused you to run out?"

Here is the million-dollar question. At least it felt like it was, considering that he didn't know the answer. What did happen? He was running from Hiro's and he ran into someone. Droopy eyes…. "The last thing that I remember before waking up is running into Taki Aizawa."

"Then what happened?"

"I hit him… twice. I don't remember why, but afterwards I guess I remembered something traumatic. It was something that was too much to handle and I shut down. I don't remember anything after that other than waking up with Yuki."

Ryuichi noticed how troubled Shuichi was about the whole situation, so he wouldn't push it. Taki Aizawa…wasn't that the name of that one guy who used to work for Touma? He would find out. "From the way it sounds, you closed your mind to the outside world. Without your mind to object, your heart took over and went to Yuki. It seems to me that you are still in love with him, but being the person that you are today, you refuse to acknowledge it."

"How can I be in love with somebody that I don't know?" Shuichi wasn't mad. He just wanted answers.

"Your mind doesn't consciously know him, but your heart does. Listen to your heart, and make up your mind. You don't want to lose what is precious to you."

"What do you mean?"

"Na no da! I'm sleepy, sleepy! I will see you later!" Ryuichi stood and ran out the door.

Shuichi produced a flat look. The serious Ryuichi doesn't come out often, and from the looks of it, he doesn't stay long. He sighed. The talk was nice while it lasted. It was odd, and Ryuichi sort of insightful.

He got up to lock the door, examining his brain for answers about the previous day. Choppy thoughts of Yuki comforting him came to mind, and he found himself smiling at the memories. Horror arose, replacing his smile. What if he really was gay? He waited for the feeling of wanting to throw up to consume him—it never came. Maybe he was accepting of his homosexual ways. No, never would he accept his nature. The most that he could do is to tolerate it… after he took a shower and washed the Yuki off himself.

* * *

Shuichi was waiting on the pizza man to come. He was starving, and the stupid shows on television weren't distracting his angry stomach. His phone rung; the caller identification revealed a number that he didn't know. There was an eighty percent chance that the person calling had a wrong number, or he wouldn't want to talk to them. Reluctantly, he answered the phone, putting it on speakerphone.

"Hello, Shindo?"

"Who is this?"

"Excuse my manners. This is Touma Seguchi."

Shuichi was confused. Why would his boss call him? It must have been urgent because it was Sunday. "Oh, hello." Shuichi waited to hear what the man had to say.

"Shindo, would you mind doing me a favor?"

Hell yes, he minded! What kind of favor did the man want? "Sure, what is it?" The vocalist held his breath, hoping that it wasn't anything bad.

"My brother-in-law needs somewhere to stay for a while. His apartment building is being fumigated. I've heard that you have a guest room."

Shuichi silently cursed. Damn, why did he have to say yes? He would just have to deal with his consequences. "How will he get here?"

"I will be dropping him off. Thank you, Shindo."

"You're welcome." Not! He hoped that this guy wasn't some psychotic serial killer. Touma hung up, and the doorbell rang. Ah, good old pizza, it never fails to brighten Shuichi's day.

* * *

Shuichi had finished eating his fourth slice of supreme pizza when he decided to make sure that the guest room was in order. He didn't want his guest sleeping on the couch, and he would be damned before he gave up his bed.

He walked into the medium sized room. The bed was still made, and the sheets were untouched. He wondered where Ryuichi had slept, but brushed the thought aside as he walked over to the closet. He opened the sliding doors, frowning at the numerous outfits that he would never wear again. The bright yellows, pinks, and oranges nearly blinded him. He could hardly believe that he wore that crap. He grabbed the outfits off of the racks and went to his room to lay them on his bed. When he returned to the closet he saw various boxes decorating the floor. He couldn't remember what was inside of them, but he didn't want a stranger snooping through. He began transferring them to his room.

He was almost finished and down to the last box when he tripped over something, dropping it. The box fell open, spilling the contents of it into the hallway. He cursed at his clumsiness and bent down to pick up the numerous papers, videos, and magazines. He stopped, gasping at what he saw. The papers weren't papers at all—they were pictures of Yuki, pictures of himself. They were all pictures of him and Yuki _together_. The pink haired, amethyst eyed person seemed foreign to him. He was so young in these pictures, and happy to be with Yuki.

He sighed, feeling an unknown sense of nostalgia. His heart fluttered as he flipped through the pictures of the golden god. Maybe Yuki isn't all that bad. _"I suppose that I am blowing everything out of proportion." _It just wasn't every day that a guy kisses another guy, and then later on that day fucks him. Things had gotten so complicated in just two days, but he shouldn't take unknown anger out on people. It wasn't right. He had to think of how hard it must have been to leave and come back only to find out that your lover didn't remember you.

He had put all of the pictures away and had started working on the magazines. Memories of the previous day—what Taki had done to him—blasted him when he found a magazine with ASK on the front cover. He had gotten raped because of the guy who was staring at him from the magazine! Instantly, he ripped the magazine in as many pieces as he could.

He heard the cruel voice of Aizawa clearly, as if the man was standing right next to him. The feeling of hands all over his body invaded his mind. Not again! He would not fall prey to the wrong doing again. He would fight back! He kicked the box, sending it flying into the wall. The voices of the guys who had raped him mocked him. They were laughing at him for being so weak. He punched a hole in the wall; a pain shot through his fist, but he didn't care.

The voices didn't stop, however, so he ran into the living room to get away from it all. Taki appeared on the television—which was off—mocking and laughing at him. With a wordless scream, Shuichi kicked the television, shattering the screen. He felt the hands again, and slowly he turned in a circle, seeing the three rapists and Aizawa. He went into a rage, punching and kicking blindly, not noticing that he was tearing up his condo.

Rapping at the door stopped his rampage, bringing him back to reality. He glanced around at the flipped furniture, scattered CDs, fallen stereo, fallen lamps, busted television, and other calamities. What kind of monster had he become? He felt weak because he had allowed Taki the pleasure of taking over him.

The banging at the door multiplied in force, and he couldn't ignore it anymore. He ran a hand through his hair, aggravated at his destruction. He hoped that whoever it was didn't want to come inside. There was no way to explain what had happened.

He moved the box that was in the hall into his bedroom before going to the front door. He cracked the door so only his head could fit out of it, hiding the inside of his condo. He put on the best fake smile that he could muster. His smile wavered when he saw Touma on the other side of the door. Shit, he forgot that the man's brother-in-law was supposed to stay with him. What would his boss think of his pig pen? "Good afternoon."

"Good afternoon, Mr. Shindo. May we come in?" Touma held a pleasant smile in place.

Shuichi swallowed hard. "_Um_… a predicament came up and my place isn't in good condition right now." He hoped that the man would take a hint and go away. It didn't work.

"Don't worry about it."

Slowly, Shuichi opened the door. Touma walked in, followed by his brother. Shuichi's eyes widened when he seen Yuki. Luck was not with him today! He couldn't believe that he offered to let his… ex-lover to stay with him. He still hadn't recovered from last night and the other times he was around the male. A blush crept up his cheeks, and he cursed himself. Why the hell was he blushing?

"What happened here?" Touma looked around at the wreckage.

Shuichi snapped out of his thoughts. He couldn't tell the truth, so he blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "A fly was in here, and I tried to kill it. The thing was fast."

Touma gave him a disbelieving look. He then walked over to the flipped couch and began collecting its cushions off of the floor.

"Let me," Shuichi offered, going over to resume picking up the cushions.

"What happened to the television?" Touma asked.

"It landed on it, and I busted it while trying to hit the thing." Shuichi tried to sound convincing. Crap, he forgot to act upset. "Damn thing! It's gonna have to buy me a new one!" Yeah, that sounding _real_ convincing.

"What did you hit it with? Your shoe? A brick maybe? What about a hammer?" Yuki teased, not believing the story. He then gave Touma a look that said that he could take it from here and to get lost. Shuichi was oblivious to this as he flipped the couch back upright.

"Well, I have to meet my wife for lunch, I will see you later, Eiri. Shuichi, I trust that you will treat your guest with great hospitality."

Shuichi said bye and went back to putting the cushions on the couch. A hand took a cushion from him, causing him to look up.

"I will take it from here." Yuki started arranging the couch. When the front door closed, signaling Touma's departure, he looked at Shuichi. "What really happened here?"

What was is with people asking him questions all day? "A fly—"

"You lie. A fly didn't cause people to tear up magazines and leave the remains in the hallway." Yuki nodded to the shredded book. He walked over to it, spotting a picture of Shuichi on stage. After shuffling through the pieces, he made out a brown droopy eye and some black bangs in a very small, torn portion of a page. He almost growled. "Shuichi, was he the reason that you did this?" The younger male ignored him and starting picking the lamps up off of the floor. He knew that the singer heard him, and his silence confirmed his question. Was that the reason he had come to him crying last night? "Shuichi?"

"Are you hungry? There is some pizza on the counter." Shuichi really didn't want to talk about that criminal at the moment. He rushed to the hallway and picked up as many fragments of the magazine that he could at once, discarding them into the trash can. Yuki looked like he was about to question him some more, so Shuichi tried to run into his room.

The novelist blocked the younger male's escape. He wanted answers, now. "Shuichi, tell me what happened, please?"

Shuichi let out a shaky breath. "I saw Aizawa yesterday." Embarrassed that he had just told his ex that information willingly, he pushed Yuki and ran passed the stunned male into his room and closed the door, locking it. "Your room is across the hall, make yourself at home. I'm going to sleep," he called through the door. He didn't want to talk anymore. It felt weird to be near Yuki at the moment, and he needed space.

Yuki stared at the closed bedroom door. He knew that the singer was in turmoil, and he wanted nothing more than to take his fears away. He knew that he wasn't going to make any progress right now, but at least the boy didn't go off on him like the past few times. It was an improvement.

He grabbed his bags from the hallway floor and took them into the guest room. He sat on the bed and pulled out his cell phone, calling Touma. Normally he wouldn't do this, but Aizawa needed to be taught a lesson. When the older male picked up the phone he began to talk, paying no attention to the greeting.

"Seguchi, I need a favor… Taki Aizawa, can you take care of him for me…You already know what happened… Thanks, bye." He sighed; he couldn't do anything else at the moment. He knew that Touma already knew what the male had did to Shuichi over a year ago, and he knew that Touma was an influential person. Shuichi wouldn't have to live in fright anymore.

He might as well clean up the rest of the condo. As messy as Shuichi was in the past, he was abnormally clean now—if you ignored the mess that he just had created. He started with the rest of the living room first. After he was finished with the living room, he put the remaining pizza in the refrigerator and washed the few dishes in the sink. He then went to the hallway to pick up the remanding pieces of the magazine.

He looked at Shuichi's bedroom door once more before going for his laptop. He had a deadline to meet; he didn't want his editor to bug him no time soon. He grabbed the laptop and walked into the living room, sitting on the couch. He opened it and turned it on, frowning at the time that it took to boot it up. He needed to do something to stay occupied, and it was too quiet. He walked over to the stereo and plugged it in, smiling when it came on—at least Shuichi didn't break it. He looked through the many CDs that he had stacked on the end table and picked out a _Bad Luck_ one. He popped it in and turned it on, letting his lover's voice filled the room.

* * *

Shuichi sat, deep in thought. His fear of Aizawa was long forgotten now that Yuki was here. For some odd reason he wanted to go and join the man in the other room, just for company. Mixed emotions swirled through him, and he didn't know what he wanted. A run would do him some good right now. He left the room quietly, so he wouldn't alert the novelist. He crept along the hallway to his exercise room, smiling when the head of golden hair didn't turn to look at him. He walked over to the treadmill and turned it on to a fast speed.

Soon all of his troubles were just a distant memory. He focused on the burn in his thighs and the pace of his heart. The burn was good. Stress left his body, much like the sweat that was seeping from his pores. It wasn't until he was dying from thirst that he got off of the running machine. He was feeling a hell of a lot better and elated.

Shuichi walked into the kitchen, frowning when he realized that it was openly connected to the living room. Had it always been that way? The novelist's back was turned to him and he didn't look up from his laptop to acknowledge him; Shuichi was glad for that.

He grabbed a cup from the cabinet and headed to the faucet for some tap. Conveniently, _Spicy Marmalade _decided that it wanted to come through the speakers at that time. Powerless to stop himself, Shuichi turned the kitchen into a dance floor. Music always did this to him, not to mention that it made him happy. Where did he get all of this energy? You would think that after running he would be exhausted. During the middle of a spin, he detected golden eyes staring at him from the couch. He stopped and turned to the faucet. Yes, water, he came to get water.

"So when did you start grinding on counters?" Yuki smirked; he had seen the whole dance. He had to admit it, Shuichi had enhanced his dancing.

"_Out of all of the things, why did he have to see _that?" Shuichi sighed and drunk the whole cup of water. "Do you want anything to drink? Coffee? Tea? Water?" He changed the subject.

"Coffee would be great, thank you."

Shuichi started the coffee pot before going to take a seat on the far end of the couch—as far from Yuki as he could get. He could at least try to be nice to the male, no matter how awkward it was. "Writing?"

"Yeah, I've got a deadline coming up," Yuki replied, putting his laptop down. Shuichi was in here talking to him after hiding out for over an hour; he would be damned if he ruined this. "Are you feeling better now?" He was referring to the Aizawa incident.

Shuichi nodded in response. He was surprised at the novelist's concern and felt guilty about being so mean to the male previously. "I uh… I'm sorry… about the past few days. I guess I overreacted a little bit. It's just really hard for me to accept my life and all. It's not frequent when you find out that you had a boy… was ga… was a homosexual."

"You're fine. I should be the one apologizing." Yuki took off his glasses and sat, waiting for a response.

"I'm also sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to push you." Shuichi kept his eyes to the floor. Where were all of these apologies coming from? Guilt maybe?

"I was in your way. I would have pushed me, too."

Shuichi looked at the male. He didn't want to waste his time with small talk. "Why? Why, do you keep coming back?"

Yuki let out a shaky breath. He could do this; he could tell the truth. "I've tried to convince myself to stay away from you, but I can't."

"What was our relationship in the past like?" He tried to persuade himself that he was asking out of pure curiosity. When Yuki raised an eyebrow at him, he went red. "Don't get the wrong idea. We are not, I repeat, we are _not_ going to try and rekindle our relationship. I am not the way that I used to be."

"Sure, whatever you say. Our relationship was very… interesting. You were a singer, and I a writer. I didn't care for your music, and you didn't care for my books, but we found a common ground. You were always so loud and clingy, and you acted like a damn brat; I didn't care, I kept you around. There were a few times where I actually tried to distance myself from you, but you always found me, you never stayed away."

Shuichi got up, having heard enough. If he was so damn annoying in the past, then why was this guy so persistent with getting back together. Somewhere deep down, he was hurt. It pained him to know that he was a burden from the sounds of Yuki's story.

He walked into the kitchen to finish the novelist's coffee when arms wrapped around him from behind. A piece of him mentally freaked out because of his recent memories, while another piece of him liquefied at the gentle embrace. "Please get your hands off me." It was a breathless plea, and Yuki ignored it.

"You didn't listen to the rest of it. You made me a better person. Before you came, I never had any form of a stable relationship. You chased away my demons, and became the light to my darkness. Shuichi, I've missed yo—"

The doorbell rang. Shuichi wiggled free of Yuki's grasp, thankful for the bell. He didn't know what had just happened, but he wasn't being himself. Was Yuki taking over him? It was nonsense!

He opened the door to see Hiro and Ayaka. That's right, Ayaka and Yuki are engaged! His anger toward the girl flared, and he became envious.

"What the hell is your problem? Why did you bring this bitch?"

"What is wrong with you?" Hiro didn't appreciate Shuichi talking about his girlfriend like that.

"What's going on?" Yuki walked into the hallway after hearing the screaming.

"I don't care about your engagement with Yuki, he does not belong to you!" Wait, what did he just say? Collective gasps went up all around, and he was standing there looking like an ass. Why was he causing uproar over Yuki? He wasn't gay. A hand fell on his shoulder and he snatched away. "Don't touch me! I don't know what you did, but I'm not gay!" His back was slammed up against the wall, and he was met with angry golden eyes; Yuki's arms pinned him, preventing escape.

"This wishy-washy shit is getting real old, and I'm sick of it!" Yuki was tired of the games. He had tried playing nice every time Shuichi went off and it got him nowhere.

"Get your hands off of him!" That was all of the warning that Hiro gave before his fist collided with Yuki's jaw.

**Chapter End**

I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. Too long? Too short? Like the new living arrangements? Hate the new living arrangements? Like that Shuichi is slowly coming to terms with himself? Hate it? Anything stand out in this chapter? Review and tell me your thoughts, I'm dying to know. Remember, your reviews fuel my motivation for getting the next chapter out faster. ^_^


	9. Chapter 8

**Bittersweet Void**

I'm so sorry about the long wait, and you can blame it on the holidays and me starting college. Once again, I would like to thank everyone for the publicity—alerts, favorites, and reviews— that this story receives.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation

**Chapter Eight**

The phone rung for a few times before somebody answered. "Hello?"

"Yes, I have the meeting set up. Meet me at the park close to your apartment at 8:00 tonight, and we'll take care of Aizawa, once and for all. Is there anything else that I can do for you?"

"No. I will be there, thank you." The person hung up the phone, smirking with mischief. Soon, Shuichi will be his.

* * *

Shuichi's breath hitched and something stirred within him—exhilaration from Yuki's roughness. Time slowed to a stop as he stared into the golden glare, and he was too shocked to say anything. He had never seen this side of Yuki, at least not recently. He felt heat rise to his cheeks, forming a blush. That molten glower was going to be his undoing; it caused his heartbeat to turn erratic. His eyes trailed down to Yuki's perfect lips that were fixed into a scowl; they looked more than a little inviting. It was so tempting to fill the gap that separated them. He quickly moistened his lips in anticipation, wanting a taste of those lips when something interrupted.

"Get your hands off of him!" Hiro's voice exploded through the hallway.

Shuichi snapped to his senses, confused as to why he was just having such bad thoughts. What was wrong with him? He didn't like Yuki, and he refused to lust after the man even if he was highly attractive. No! No, Yuki was a guy; he was _not _attractive!

The vocalist blinked in shock when Yuki violently jerked to the side, jarring him in the process. It took less than a second to realize that Hiro had punched the man in the jaw. He watched in horror as his best friend and ex-lover assaulted each other, unsure of what to do. His indecisiveness evaporated, overcome by anger.

Nobody, and he meant _nobody_, fist fought with his best friend except him. He readied himself to launch at the blond when a very mean right hook smashed into his face. He cursed, feeling the warm liquid run from his nostrils. Ignoring the steady trail of blood that seemed like a faucet, he checked his sore nose, making sure that it wasn't broke. Slightly relieved when his nose was alright, he glared at the source of the punch.

Ayaka held a glare that was great in intensity, and would have scared anyone, but Shuichi's pride held up against the intimidation. The sound of fist colliding with various body parts was nothing but background music at this time.

"Don't you ever in your life call me out of my name again," Ayaka threatened with malice laced in her voice.

Shuichi chose to ignore the girl because he didn't have a ready come back. With hostility, he swiped his nose with the back of his hand, smearing his tanned skin with crimson. The blood on his hand and face was the least of his worries, though. His attention was soon captured by the two fighting men to his right. Yuki was currently sitting on Hiro, delivering blows to the brunet's face. Hiro was blocking with one arm, fighting back with the other. That's right; he was doing _something_ before a certain little girlfriend from hell decided to sucker punch him. He shot another glare at Ayaka, nonverbally blaming her for his delay before racing toward the commotion.

After successfully tackling the novelist, knocking him off of Hiro, Shuichi delivered a blow to Yuki's mouth, leaving the man was astonished. He let out a curse under his breath when he felt the skin on his knuckles split from Yuki's teeth. "Nobody hits Hiro but me!" As soon as he finished his sentence, he was sent into the wall by the force of something—Hiro's foot— hitting him in the ribs.

"That is for disrespecting my girlfrie-ooph!"

Shuichi rammed Hiro in the stomach, banging him into the opposing wall. After regaining his ground, he stood up straight, ready to send a few blows to Hiro's face. Before he could fulfill his actions, he was cracked in the back of the head by what felt like a sledgehammer, effectively halting his attack. After turning, he realized that it was Yuki who had hit him. He growled at the taller man, turning his back on his best friend. He pulled back his fist to rearrange Yuki's pretty face, stopping when the sound of an automatic weapon resounded through the hall. Instinctively, the three males hit the floor, covering their heads as bullets sprayed overhead.

After the noise died down, a large commanding voice filled the hall. "Ayaka, you may come in. Now, you three! On the count of three I want all of you to be seated on the couch." The American looked at the crazed looks that he received from the occupants of the floor. He calmly replaced the clip of his AK-47 with a full cartridge. "Three," he stated before unleashing another round of bullets, except this time they were aimed at the floor, close to the men's bodies. When the three people all but killed each other to get to the couch, K closed the front door, letting out a maniacal laugh.

They were stupid to leave the front door open. But even if they would have closed it, K would have still known what was transpiring—thanks to binoculars and rooftops, oh and microphones rigged throughout Shuichi's apartment—and would have entered through means of lock picking.

He walked into the living room, raising an eyebrow at how the three males were looking on the couch. Yuki sat on the far left end with a busted lip and a swollen jaw, looking like he would kill each inhabitant of the apartment if he wasn't being controlled by a gun. Hiro was on the far right end, sporting a swollen eye that would most likely turn into a black eye. He was glaring at both Shuichi and Yuki. Shuichi was in the middle of both of them with a bloodied nose, and he was glaring at the floor.

"As much as I enjoy a good soap opera, I cannot have any conflicts going on within the band—conflicts compromise the mission. So as a remedy, you all are going to sit there until you are all friends again," K declared.

Yuki snorted, scoffing at the American. Hiro acted as though he didn't hear him. Shuichi pinched the bridge of his nose, tilting his head back to rest it on the back of the couch. Ayaka sat at the dining room table, staying out of the whole ordeal.

"Not cooperating, are we?" K turned the muzzle of his gun toward Shuichi. Since Shuichi's eyes were closed, he was oblivious to his manager's actions. K shot a couple of attention getter bullets, taking some strands of black hair to the wall. Hiro and Yuki let out angry sounds, clearly not liking Shuichi to come that close to harm.

Shuichi shot up, opening his eyes into a deathly glower. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He was not in the mood for his manager's games, especially not today.

"Pay attention," K commanded with an eerie calm. "You called Ayaka a bitch because you felt a pang of jealousy toward her for coming near Yuki, am I right?"

The vocalist turned an interesting shade of pink, shaking his head rapidly in denial. "No, no, no! What the hell gave you such an idea?"

"You're confused. You have feelings for Yuki that you don't comprehend or understand. You didn't mean any harm, yet somehow you ended up causing a lot of calamity."

Shuichi sighed. He didn't know how the American could have known such things considering that he wasn't around him. Was he so confused that his manager knew him better than he knew himself, able to decipher the emotions that he had yet to decode himself? With no reasonable argument to defend himself, Shuichi opted to stay silent. K was right; he did have feelings for Yuki, mostly lust, though. He was gay—there was no denying it, but he wouldn't verbally admit it either. He couldn't run from himself any longer. It's funny how after so many people telling you something and having a gun waved at him that he would finally come to terms with what he couldn't control.

"And you, Hiroshi! You knew that Shuichi was very confused right now, sorting through his newfound memories. You knew that he was unstable at the moment due to the said memories, and he was experiencing hardships. Why would you bring Ayaka by after Shuichi's little outburst at your apartment? You were adding fuel to the fire. For you to be so smart, you sure don't know how to use your head."

Hiro managed a sheepish look, rubbing the back of his head. He didn't think that Ayaka would cause such a reaction in Shuichi. He was stupid for not thinking it through thoroughly, but Ayaka had insisted on coming and was very _persuasive._ He offered his best friend an apologetic look, but the vocalist failed to notice.

"Yuk—" K began.

"Go to hell," the novelist cut him off, taking out a pack of cigarettes. He didn't need the man to tell him about himself; he knew himself well enough.

K produced a dark look. He wasn't here for games and he would not be disrespected—he did have his gun after all. He fired a shot, taking Yuki's cigarette out of the male's mouth. "And that was a warning shot." Satisfied with the attentive scowl that the novelist gave, K produced a sadistic smile.

"You're paying for that cigarette." Yuki pulled out another one defiantly.

K paid him no mind and continued with his previous speech. "If you do anything to hurt Shuichi, then I'm on your ass like the stink on a skunk."

Yuki blazed the cigarette, taking a puff. "I'm scared." The blonds provided each other with not so friendly looks, promising retribution if they were under different circumstances.

The bell rung, ending K and Yuki's stare down. Ayaka slipped away to get the door, returning shortly with a hyperactive, loud male known as Ryuichi and his pink bear, Kumagoro.

"Na no da! You didn't tell me that you were having a party! Shu, what happened to your nose? You're getting blood all over your shirt! You don't look sparkly at all! Let me get a paper towel for you!" Ryuchi yelled, skipping to the kitchen.

Yuki groaned, covering his face with his hands. The last thing that he needed was that immature freak running around talking about sparkly shit. He could feel the oncoming headache arising to torture him. He wished that K had put some lead in him earlier.

Ryuichi sprinted back into the living room, stopping in front of Shuichi. "Hold still now, Shu," he instructed, straddling the black-haired male's waist as he inserted the paper towel into Shuichi's nostrils.

Shuichi was too shocked at his idol's closeness and lack of self-preservation that he didn't utter a word. He could feel the body heat emanating from Ryuichi's body. Although he was sure that Nittle Grasper's lead singer's intentions were purely innocent, it seemed too erotic. "Um, Ryuichi?"

"Yes?" Ryuichi bounced on Shuichi's lap, making Shuichi rival a tomato in color. "Do you want me to kiss your boo boo to make it feel better?"

"Can you please get up so that I can…get Hiro some ice for his eye?" Shuichi didn't want to be mean to his idol, and the male was close to… precious areas.

Yuki watched from three feet away, practically fuming at the mouth. How dare Ryuichi get that close to his Shuichi? Who did that overgrown child think that he was, climbing into his lover's lap like that? The man was a living breathing nutcase, and he wasn't buying that childish act for shit. He glared at Ryuichi as he got off of Shuichi's lap, letting the younger male go to the kitchen.

Shuichi returned from the kitchen with two zip lock bags full of ice that was wrapped in a paper towel. He handed one to Hiro, who took it without complaint. He then walked over to Yuki, holding out a bag for him, too. He still didn't know why he had gotten the cruel man a bag, but he laid it on feeling guilty about the whole situation.

Yuki surveyed the bag for a while before looking at Shuichi. He took the bag, feeling suspicious about the whole thing. Just what had Shuichi done to the bag? "My tooth is feeling loose you little shit, if it comes out then you better pray that you have the gods on your side."

"Asshole," Shuichi muttered before taking a seat between Yuki and Ryuichi.

"What was that, Kuma?" Ryuichi asked the bear, holding it up to his ear. "You said you have something for Shu?" He pulled out a box of strawberry pocky, grinning from ear to ear. "Shu, Kuma got you this!" The childlike singer handed Shuichi the box, giggling when the younger male's eyes lit up. Despite how much Shuichi had matured, he still had a weakness for the sweet treat.

K observed the scene before him. Overlooking the fact that Yuki was fuming and Hiro was still slightly upset, he figured that there would be no more fighting. Turning his blue gaze to the lonely girl at the table, he advanced on her, gaining her undivided attention. "A word, please?" He motioned for the front door with a nod. Ayaka regarded him with curious eyes, standing to follow him outside.

Shuichi nibbled on the strawberry stick, completely at ease. There was no sign of anyone ripping anyone's head off, and to be honest, he felt remorseful. He knew that his relationship with Hiro had been sort of rocky lately, but he didn't think that things would go so far as inflicting physical harm. "Hiro?"

The brunet turned his eyes to Shuichi, ignoring the way that Ryuchi was clinging to his best friend's side—the older male was just… overly-friendly. "Hm?"

"I'm really uh sorry; I don't know what came over me. I didn't mean to… ah, say what I did to your girlfriend." Shuichi looked at his busted television, idly stroking Ryuchi's hair like he was a pet or something. He was sort of uncomfortable with apologies for some odd reason, had it always been this difficult to say sorry? Did he mention that Ryu's hair was really soft?

"Shu, don't do that. It wasn't your fault. Besides, I was able to get a few punches in on Yuki, and you don't know how long that I've waited to do that," Hiro said with a smile. He would do anything to get the satisfaction of messing Yuki up again. That jerk more than deserved it.

"You know, I'm sitting right here, you piece of shit! And you forget that you're the one who's gonna have a black eye," Yuki added, watching the affectionate gesture that Shuichi was showing Ryuichi the whole time with aversion.

"The black eye was worth it. How is that swollen jaw of yours?" Hiro teased. He wouldn't let the novelist forget about the injuries that would mar his face.

"Fan-fucking-tastic," Yuki shot back. He imagined a few broken bones added onto Hiro with a smile. All in due time….

"You two are giving me a headache," Shuichi groaned. This little feud was very childish—never mind that he was the cause of the whole situation.

"If it helps, I don't plan on mutilating him and then dumping him in a dark alley…yet," Yuki assured. But when that day comes it would be the greatest one yet.

"And he won't be found after the tragic accident of his apartment building exploding this year," Hiro countered.

"I would like to see you try," Yuki dared.

"You deserve it, considering what all you've done to Shuichi! Don't you know when you didn't come back from New York he cried his eyes out, mourning your love. He fell into a deep, dark depression for a whole week! Do you know how hard that was on me? I had to sit by helplessly and watch my best friend become a zombie because his jackass of a boyfriend didn't want him anymore! K and I took him to get hypnotized to save him from himself and you! You never returned your love for Shuichi, so why come back now? As you can see, he has his life together and everything; he did it all by himself because you weren't around!" Hiro exploded, leaving everyone flabbergasted.

The usually calm guitarist was panting heavily, trying to catch his breath. After some time, he stood, sending Yuki one last glare before leaving the apartment. The novelist didn't respond, having nothing to say, for he knew that he couldn't say anything to the revelation. The air in the apartment seemed to grow thick, too thick to breath, not that anyone tried to.

A brief flicker of torment flicked over Yuki's face before he replaced it with a stoic mask. He didn't know that he had caused Shuichi so much pain. He meant to come home from New York before Shuichi's tour ended, he really did. But life got in the way—he couldn't return home with the ghost of Kitazawa haunting him; it would have been unfair to himself and his lover. He sighed with the realization that he didn't even call Shuichi to check up on him when he was on tour. Of course the singer would think that he didn't want him anymore. He was such a dick.

Guilt-ridden and feeling unworthy of being in Shuichi's presence at the moment, Yuki stood and headed to the door. He needed some fresh air, fast. It felt like the walls were constricting, threatening to suffocate him. He felt like shit and not from his injuries. Was this how Shuichi felt over a year ago when he didn't come home like he'd promised? How could he live with himself knowing that he caused Shuichi so much pain?

Shuichi sat in wonderment, ignorant of the fact that Yuki had left the room. Despite how much that he hated that he used to be such a drama queen, he was grateful towards Hiro. Yes, he was a grown man and could take care of himself now, but the thought of Hiro caring so much was quite touching. If protecting him from Yuki was the only reason that the guitarist was acting like a jerk for the past year, then he had nothing to worry about. He could protect himself. He smiled despite the dense atmosphere—it was good to know that he didn't have to dismiss Hiro as a friend. Everything would be alright between him and his longtime friend. And to think that he doubted Hiro for one second; he owed the man yet another apology.

_Shining Collection _started to blaze through Shuichi's speakers, causing Ryuchi to turn solemn. It was sort of odd considering that he held his bubbly demeanor in place even with Hiro's outburst. He detached himself from Shuichi's arm and heading to the stereo to change the track. After flipping through several tracks, he stopped at _Blind Game Again_. "Come on, Shu! Let's dance!"

Shuichi flushed at how embarrassing his old song was; he had improved a great deal since then. Why couldn't somebody change the CD? Nevertheless, Shuichi indulged in his idol and body's demands, losing himself in the music, dancing away all of his problems. Music was his outlet, and it would forever be his passion.

* * *

"Kuma wants to go to bed." Ryuichi yawned.

Shuichi chuckled at his idol's antics, wiping sweat from his forehead. Him and Ryuichi had danced for who knows how long. All he knew was that K, Hiro, and Ayaka had long ago left and he hadn't heard from or seen Yuki since the man walked out of the room earlier. He didn't care what everyone else's problems were at the time; he was in a content state of mind. The day was overall bad, but dancing with Ryuichi washed away every ugly mark of his misfortune.

He smiled and turned off the stereo. He turned to meet the gaze of his role model, nodding toward the front door. When Ryuichi started walking to the door, he fell in step. It was effortless being around this man, effortless and stress-free. If only reality was just as easy. He stepped out of his condo with the older man, enjoying the setting sun. "Thanks, Ryuichi, for stopping by."

Ryuichi pounced on the man, squeezing him. "Anytime, buddy! Now you go in and take a shower then go to sleepy sleepy. Will you be at work tomorrow? How is your nose? Will you be okay?"

Shuichi had to resist a laugh. "Of course I will be at work tomorrow, and my nose is fine. To be honest, I had forgotten all about it." He removed the paper towels from his nostrils, noting that the blood had long ago dried. His nose was still a little sore, but it was nothing too major. After placing on the best smile that he could muster, Shuichi assured the older man that he was indeed fine.

When Ryuichi bounced away happily, Shuichis happy face dropped. He was tired from the day. Yes, a shower would do him some good. He turned to go back in the condominium, gasping when he was met with a serious looking Yuki. Luck would have it that the man had only retired to the guest room for a short time. Why couldn't the novelist have run away? Shuichi was too tired to deal with him right now, not that he knew what business he could possibly still have with the man.

"We need to talk," Yuki said, leaving no room for escape.

"What for?"

* * *

"You wanted to see me?" The dark haired male approached cautiously. He didn't like that it was dark, and that he was in the park alone with a creepy, manipulative bastard that just so happened to be his old boss. Why had he come anyways? If it wasn't for the promise of being re-employed….

"Yes, you see, I have gotten word from not only one, but two sources that you are causing Mr. Shindo problems again. Normally, I wouldn't care what happens to him, but once again it has affected the one that I care most about; I cannot have that." Green eyes glistened maliciously in the moonlight as they slid upon Taki Aizawa.

"I didn't do anything to him, I swear!" Okay, maybe he pushed the man and yelled at him, but that wasn't too bad, right? Taki swallowed hard, unconsciously taking a step back. He was looking at the person who created nightmares in the eyes. The last time he had a nightly encounter with this man, he nearly got ran over by a car, and this time he didn't know what would happen. His heartbeat quickened and his eye bucked. No, he would not go down like this; he had a life ahead of him that he had yet to live!

The other males eyes hardened and a frown appeared on his face. "If you did nothing, then why did I hear otherwise?"

Taki's breath came in short gasps as the man before him slowly began to advance on him. On unsteady feet, he backed up until his back hit the railing that overlooked the city. He was trapped. His mind started to think of every possible escape route. Clearly, he couldn't go back any farther, unless he wanted to plummet to his death. That was probably what his predator, Touma, wanted. The gloved hand of his hunter pulled out something silver that glistened as the moon hit it, catching his eye—it was a pistol. Touma pointed the pistol at his head and told him not to move.

Touma pulled out his cell phone with his unoccupied hand, dialing a number. After a few seconds, the man started screaming into the phone. "Yes, I need help! ... It's Taki Aizawa, and he's trying to kill himself! … Please hurry!... I don't know right now, I just know that I'm in a park! ... I can't talk right now!" Touma hung up the phone, satisfied with his superior acting skills. He turned his attention back to his frightened prey, smirking.

Taki couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't escape, and couldn't function. Before him was a madman, holding a pistol, and he was so unfortunate to be on the opposite end. He tried to wet his dry lips to no avail, practically tasting death. Death was permeating the air around him, polluting every molecule that he managed to gulp hungrily into his lungs. Murmured pleas of mercy reached his ears, and he realized that he had been babbling away the whole time, begging for life.

"It's a pity that your future couldn't have been different, Aizawa, you could have become really successful, but you chose your end." That damned voice was mocking him!

Resolve set in, and he realized that his legs still worked. He wouldn't die here, shamefully shaking and pleading for his life. He had to get away. Upon scouting an escape to the left, Taki sprinted away from his assailant. A dark chuckle reached his ears, as if the blond behind him still had the advantage. He turned to make sure that the gun wasn't pointed in his direction, when he smacked into something hard. He fell on his butt, cursing.

"Going somewhere, Aizawa?" A dark voice that belonged to another, aside from Touma, asked venomously.

He looked up into the newcomer's face, surprised at who it was. He knew this man, and he was sure that he had found help. One last spark of hope flickered, giving him a false sense of security. "Please, you have to help me! Call the authorities! He-" Aizawa pointed toward the man with the gun. "-is crazy! He is trying to kill me!"

A dark laughter erupted from the person in front of him, killing Aizawa's hopes. "As he should. You have hurt someone precious to him vicariously through Shuichi. In my case, you have hurt Shuichi, and he is precious to me. I will not allow for such torture to continue. I hope that you are satisfied with your life."

"But, I didn't do anything to him!" his voice came out panicked. A lone tear of fear trickled down Aizawa's cheek. If he thought that he was looking in death's face earlier, then he was mistaken. The male—no, demon—in front of him was death. No, he was worse, he was the devil. He had never seen somebody looking so… bloodthirsty in his life. "W-why are you helping that monster?"

"I should be asking you why you continue to go after Shuichi. I just recently heard about what you did to him over a year ago, and for that alone I could destroy you. You will not get another chance to hurt the man that I love. From this day on, you will live your life in fear; you will look over your shoulders every five seconds. I want you to experience what you've put Shuichi through. I want you to go to sleep and awake screaming because you were haunted by my face. Well, only if you survive."

He tried to tune the demon out, looking back to check for Touma. When he didn't see him, he whipped his head back to the front. The male without the gun grabbed him by his dark hair, snatching him to his feet. His vision was met with the demented look in the other male's eyes. The man leaned in close to his ear, whispering, "If you live, then you tried to kill yourself, and you go away to the nut house like a good little boy. If you so much as tell a soul about this, you will perish, slowly and painfully." The captor of his hair reached out with his free hand, accepting the gun from Touma, who was now a few inches away.

The crazed male raised the gun to Taki's torso, prodding him with the muzzle. Sirens sounded in the distance, signaling that the emergency personnel were nearby. "Looks like your time is up, I had fun today, Aizawa."

Taki opened his mouth to scream; at the same time, the sound of a bullet being shot from a gun reverberated through the night, overpowering his yell.

* * *

Yuki helped Shuichi position the television from Shuichi's bedroom into the living room. The singer had insisted that they move it before they had their talk. Yuki sighed; he would never understand why the pop star would even have a television in the room strictly made for sleeping and other more enjoyable things. After Shuichi had the television positioned in exact spot as the old, broken one, Yuki took a seat on the couch.

Shuichi followed suit on the other end of the couch, eyeing the novelist suspiciously. He had made up some lame excuse about needed to move the television that was in his bedroom to stall for time. He didn't even want to talk to the older male about whatever, but he couldn't avoid it any longer—having already put it off for thirty minutes. After a moment of awkward silence, Shuichi became irritated. "Well?"

After running a hand through his golden hair, Yuki gave the singer his undivided attention. "Shuichi… I'm sorry." That was all that he could say. Yes, he was a famous romance novelist, and he couldn't come up with anything better to say to make up for his past actions.

"Sorry for what? The fight?" Shuichi was quick to respond. Why else would the older man swallow his pride and apologize? Did he miss something?

Yuki groaned. He had thought that Shuichi was smarter now than what he was over a year ago. He noted the confused look on the younger male's face and almost cracked a smile. Shuichi was so cute! "No, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about for not calling to tell you that I would be away longer than intended when I was in New York. I didn't mean to break the promise of returning before your tour was over."

It was amusing seeing the novelist turn into a slight pink coloring. It suited his pale skin. The way that the older man seemed uncomfortable with shooting off all of these apologies was interesting. It was adorable, to say the least. "You can stop right there. I don't even remember that shit, so you can stop with the mushiness; I'm not into it. If you are worried that I hold some type of grudge against you, then you are clearly mistaken. I don't care about the fight anymore, either. That was mostly my fault."

"So you're not pissed at me?" Yuki asked detachedly, acting like he wasn't interested in the conversation anymore.

"No, thanks to Ryuichi and K, I realized that I've been mad at nothing. My life had changed so much in just a few days and my defense mechanism kicked in. Hitting you and dancing also helped with the anger, so we're good." Not wanting to continue the highly unnerving conversation, Shuichi got up and went to the back of the flat screen television, connecting the proper cords with the correct ports. He wanted to see what the news was talking about. Several cuss words later, Shuichi emerged, turning on the television by its remote as he plopped down on the couch.

The screen showed a crime scene, capturing Shuichi and Yuki's attention immediately. It was at the park where they had met on so many occasions.

"Thirty minutes ago, Taki Aizawa was found after having shot himself with the intent commit suicide. Crime scene investigators, paramedics, and an eye witness have revealed the same story. He was rushed to the hospital with a gunshot wound to the torso…"

Shuichi turned off the television. He had heard enough when they mentioned Taki's name. He was still recovering from the whole rape incident, and the last thing he needed was the news to go on with stories about the man. As cold as it sounded, he wouldn't give a flying fuck if he never saw the man again. "I'm going to take a shower then bed. There is food in the kitchen if you get hungry." He had made it into the hallway when Yuki's voice intervened.

"Shuichi, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired." Shuichi feigned a yawn after his lie to further fuel his deceit. Without wasting another second, he disappeared into his bedroom.

Yuki waited until the door clicked shut to pull out his phone. He dialed Touma's number with the swiftness, knowing that the man had taken care of Aizawa like he'd asked. The other end of the line picked up on the fourth ring, and Yuki spoke into the device, leaving no room for a greeting. "When did you become so sloppy?"

"Hello to you too, Eiri. I wasn't being sloppy; he was supposed to have been discovered as part of my plan. I have notified the authorities that it was an attempted suicide on his behalf, and I am a very persuasive person. Nobody would suspect a thing because the gun was found in _his_ hand, and only his fingerprints are on the weapon."

"And if the guy lives and squeaks?"

"Don't worry about that, I have already taken care of that, as well. If you would excuse me now, I have to go to the hospital."

* * *

Shuichi tossed his covers off, annoyed that he couldn't get a wink of sleep. He had been trying for about three hours, but every time he closed his eyes, he saw Aizawa lying in a pool of his own blood. It didn't help that he felt lonely, either. What was wrong with him? He never got lonely, and he sure as hell didn't need company.

With an aggravated yell, he grabbed a blanket off of the bed on his way out of his bedroom. The rhythmic tapping of a keyboard from the living room told him that Yuki was still up. Shrugging, he convinced himself that sitting with the man in his sleepless hours wouldn't hurt, he supposed. Maybe being close to the novelist would chase away this foreign feeling of loneliness.

It wasn't until the couch dipped down on one side that Yuki looked up from his laptop. He stole a glance at a ragged looking Shuichi wearing nothing but some sweat pants. He scowled at the bruise that sat on top of the other man's chest. Damn Hiro to hell! "Couldn't sleep?" He couldn't resist starting a conversation; he just wanted to hear Shuichi's voice.

Shuichi shrugged indifferently like not receiving sleep was the norm for him. He stood, wrapping the blanket around himself. After he was nice and snug, he unconsciously sat closer to the blond. He looked over to the laptop out of curiosity. When he couldn't see the screen clearly, he scooted even closer to the man—close enough to reach out and touch the novelist—tucking his legs under himself. "What ya writing?"

"A story." Yuki smirked, knowing that that wasn't the answer that the vocalist was looking for.

"Asshole," Shuichi hissed, smiling despite of himself.

"I've been called worse."

Shuichi closed his eyes. It was nice to be in a peaceful environment with light teasing. Maybe he was wrong about Yuki. Right now the male wasn't acting crazy, and he felt an inner calm. He listened to the sound of Yuki's fingers tapping on the keys, focusing on it. It was oddly relaxing. Gradually, he slipped into a slumber, ignoring the fact that he was only able to sleep because of the novelist's presence.

Yuki had been watching Shuichi from the corner of his eye. He knew the exact time that the singer's breathe leveled out, signaling that he had falling asleep, yet he was still shocked when the male fell onto his lap. He stopped breathing, for fear of the younger male waking up from the impact. When Shuichi didn't Yuki saved his file and closed his laptop; he would not lose this time with his ex-lover. Gently, he began to pet the black hair, causing pop star to snuggle into him.

* * *

The male walked into his house, panting heavily. He had run most of the way from the crime scene after shooting that fool. He was a fool for not calling a cab, resulting in a long journey. As planned, only Touma was to be at the scene when help arrived, so he had to pull a disappearing act. He smiled, feeling like he had done Shuichi justice. No longer would his love live in fear of Taki Aizawa.

He walked over to a framed picture of the singer, picking it up and embracing it. His smile of contentment turned into a frown. "Shuichi, I was so close to making you mine, but that evil Yuki has returned. Are my chances with you ruined again, or will come to me with open arms? I'm sorry I tried to give you time to adjust, but with my competition back, I have to work fast," he murmured to the picture, walking to his bedroom.

He neglected to turn off his light, climbing into the moonlit bed with the picture. He stared at the smiling man on the picture again, wondering how their relationship would work out or if it was just a silly dream. He wiped at his watery eyes, fearing potential rejection, then resolve sunk in. "No matter what, you will become mine." He laid the picture on his pillow, curling around it as he slowly drifted into dream world with Shuichi consuming his mind. He couldn't wait to actually have the man in his arms, sleeping next to him every night.

**Chapter End**

I hoped that you enjoyed this chapter. Too long? Too short? Too much drama? Not enough drama? I want to know your thoughts on how you feel about this chapter. Remember, reviews fuel my motivation.

By the way, there are only canon characters in this fic.


	10. Chapter 9

**Bittersweet Void**

I don't have a big cheesy lie or excuse for why I haven't updated in a while. If you are curious about how late this chapter is, though, the details are at the bottom.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation.

**Chapter Nine**

After glaring at his laptop screen, as if words would magically type themselves, Yuki sighed, saving the document. His mind had failed to come up with anything else to add for about forty minutes now. He was sure that he was overdue for a smoke, and his coffee mug looked rather empty. Upon stealing a glance at the sleeping Shuichi—who had moved to the other side of the couch after going to the restroom in the middle of the night—Yuki forced himself to get up and refill his coffee. While pouring himself a hot cup, his mind meandered to Shuichi.

In just the few days that he had been back from New York, Shuichi had surprised him in more ways than one. The singer was completely different, yet exactly the same. His mindset, maturity, and looks have changed, but his heart was left untouched. Despite the fact that the vocalist had distanced himself, Yuki found the new change attractive, yet aggravating. He had liked that Shuichi had seemed independent, but he hated that the younger male didn't center his world around him anymore—it was nice knowing that he had someone who would give their all for him, and no, Touma didn't count.

Yuki took a sip of his coffee, and his eyes wandered over to Shuichi. Immediately, he wanted to be closer, so he went over to the couch and claimed a seat close to the sleeping male. Silently, he sat the coffee mug on the coffee table while keeping his eyes on Shuichi. The male looked so vulnerable in his sleep, but Yuki knew that once he woke up, he would revert back to his new self. For now, however, he wouldn't let such thoughts cloud his mind.

He remembered a time when Shuichi was incapable of cruel acts, being so naïve and carefree. In truth, it was that attitude that had broken down the walls that he had carefully put up. Before he met Shuichi, he was practically a robot. He refused to show any forms of weakness or emotions, and he kept people at a distance. All thanks to Shuichi, though, he had regained the humanistic side of him that Kitazawa had stolen. He had learned how to smile and how to trust, but more importantly, he had learned how to love. He owed all of that and so much more to Shuichi.

At the cost of his own humanity, however, he had torn apart the very thing that had taught him such important life lessons. He didn't know how much that Shuichi's childlike personality was beneficial to him until it was gone, and he missed it. No, he didn't love the male any less because he had grew up, and he would always love Shuichi no matter what, but he couldn't help but feel like he killed Shuichi's light.

Before, the singer always looked at the world with a child's mind, holding onto optimism in every situation. He was always so bubbly and exuberant that it was contagious. People couldn't help but like him. Also, he was always so gentle and kind. Now, his amethyst eyes held the knowledge of reality, erasing his fantasy world. He was no longer bubbly, having obtained a laid back persona. His gentleness had been transformed into that of someone who wouldn't care one way or another about someone else's feelings. He no longer held that uniqueness that had set him apart from the world. Shuichi had died inside when he left for New York.

Yuki felt like crap. All because he was too weak to face his past, he had inadvertently messed up Shuichi and their relationship. Yes, Shuichi was lying next to him, but he wasn't actually there, at least not of his free will. Yuki knew that if Touma hadn't of set up the whole scheme of him staying with Shuichi, the male wouldn't have had anything to do with him. Shuichi's heart may cry out for him, but as long as his mind refuses to acknowledge the love, then Yuki wouldn't get anywhere. He had taken Shuichi for granted, and in the end, he had fucked both of them over.

He wondered if he had permanently ruined their relationship. No matter how hard that he had tried, he couldn't forget that Shuichi told him that he didn't want to try again for their relationship. At first, he thought that the vocalist was just saying that to convince himself that he wasn't gay, but now, he wasn't so sure. Yes, a big fight started because Shuichi had spoken from his heart, but when the pop star had successfully masked any feelings that he may or may not have had for Yuki after the fight, he knew that he was in trouble. It was easy to enforce the rule of mind over matter, and that brought up the million dollar question: would Shuichi keep denying his heart so that Yuki would cease to matter?

After K's revelation last night, Shuichi's eyes had seemed emotionless. It was like he didn't see Yuki as nothing more than a stranger, therefore he felt nothing for him. K had revealed the unknown problem—which was Yuki—thus allowing Shuichi to come up with a solution to counter the said problem. What made matters worse was when Ryuichi came. When Shuichi had seen the older singer, his eyes obtained warmth. As much as he hated to admit it, Yuki realized that he had fallen under Ryuichi on Shuichi's list of priorities. What confirmed this theory is that when the pink bunny-loving freak left, Shuichi's eyes lost their warm quality, and it seemed like he was forcing himself to appear civilized.

Damn K to hell! Before the man had come over, he was making steady progress with Shuichi. Now, he couldn't help but feel that their relationship—or lack of—was stagnant.

He had been thinking all night long on how he could redeem himself, but he failed to come up with anything. His hope of still being Shuichi's was waning, and he was beginning to fear that if he didn't act soon, then he would lose the man that he loved. Also, he noticed that he was obtaining a rival for Shuichi's heart, and he knew that he had a possibility of losing.

His heart clenched painfully. No, he would not lose Shuichi. Yes, he knew that it was his fault that things had become this way, and he would take full responsibility, but he would not give up. He had given up his world for a little over a year, and he would be damned if he did it again. No matter what, he vowed, Shuichi would be his again.

Too bad he had no idea how to make someone fall in love with him—he had never needed to use such tactics in the past. He needed help, and he knew one person that he could go to, but that didn't mean that he would like it. Glancing at the clock, he noticed that it was almost nine in the morning. The person should be up right now, but he would wait until Shuichi was awake before he made the call—he didn't want to wake the vocalist up. And leaving the room was out of the question because he didn't want to miss a second of being in the sleeping male's presence.

A bitter chuckle emitted from his throat at his current thoughts. It was a shame to see how far that he had fallen for the singer, but it didn't matter. Being in love was insane, and it caused people to bend over backwards for the one that they loved. Uesugi Eiri had fallen far from grace, but he enjoyed every moment of it.

A yawn from beside him attracted Yuki's golden eyes, revealing that Shuichi had woken up. His heart thudded in his chest as he watched the younger male wipe his eyes with the backs of his hands, and his resolve to keep from losing Shuichi enhanced. A quick scan of the room had amethyst eyes landing on Yuki, and he could feel his body temperature increasing by several degrees. Sadly, Yuki noticed that besides the few moments of shock on Shuichi's face, his eyes reverted back to that empty stare—he wanted the warmth and love that used to be exclusively for him in those eyes to return. It was almost like Shuichi was purposely distancing himself to ensure that he wouldn't give in to his heart's desire.

"What time is it," Shuichi's still groggy voice asked, bringing Yuki out of his thoughts.

"Close to nine. What time do you have to be at work, and do you have a ride?" Yuki nonchalantly took a sip of his coffee. It wouldn't help if Shuichi saw him slobbering over himself.

"Ten thirty, and dunno."

Yuki didn't fail to notice that it seemed like Shuichi was forcing himself to answer, seeming like he didn't want to talk to him. He wanted to change that—no, he _would_ change that. "Get ready, I'll take you." Much to his pleasure, Shuichi blink a few times and smiled, thanking him. Well, at least he got some type of reaction that wasn't forced. Maybe he should have taken the singer to work in the past, and he regretted that he didn't. Before he could ponder on the thought more, the house phone in the kitchen rang, causing Shuichi to all but jump over the couch to reach it.

"Hello... Hey, Ryu…Yeah, I'm coming today… Okay, see you there."

Yuki didn't miss the fact that there was a certain light in Shuichi's eyes. It was the same light that used to emerge for him. Yuki's throat felt like it was constricting. Was he fighting a battle that he couldn't win?

Shuichi hung up the phone with smile of nostalgia on his face, causing jealousy and motivation to ignite in Yuki. He wanted that smile to be for him and no one else!

Before he knew it, Yuki's fingers were wrapped around the younger male's wrist in a gentle yet firm grip. Shuichi slowly focused his eyes on the older male, raising a questioning eyebrow in the process. "I…." Yuki didn't know what to say, so he snapped his jaw shut, unintentionally thinking about how close that he was to Shuichi. His mind had completely shut down, rendering him frozen in place.

"You what?" Shuichi tried tugging at his wrist, failing to free it, however. After an awkward moment of silence, he added, "Well, are you going to spit it out or are you going to keep imitating a statue? If you haven't noticed, I have to get ready for work."

Yuki stared down into the shorter male's eyes, searching for any indication that there was a slight bit of warmth left for him. When he found none, he sighed with regret and went back to the couch, ignoring the weird stare that he felt on his back. He was the cause of Shuichi's actions, and he would just have to live with it… for now.

* * *

Shuichi tried to control his frantic heartbeat as he watched the older male walk away. It took every ounce of his willpower to not melt into the older male's gaze. It took even more willpower to hide behind his stoic façade that he had implemented around the blond. He was ever so slowly accepting the way that he felt toward Yuki, and it aggravated him because he didn't want to accept something so ludicrous.

Knowing that he had to get ready for work, Shuichi brought himself out of his thoughts, only to realize that he was staring at the back of Yuki's head. A warm feeling began to emerge in the pit of his stomach, and he frowned. Shaking his head, he turned to go to his room. He didn't need such complications in his life right now.

Upon entering his bedroom, his amethyst eyes landed on the box that contained his and Yuki's past. Did he dare go into it again? No, he couldn't. He was neither prepared nor willing to face his past relationship with such physical proof. It wasn't because he couldn't handle it—after freaking out the past few days, he was sure that he could stomach it now—but it was because he was afraid that he would come to yearn for what he didn't remember. To put it simply, he was afraid that he would fall in love and work to rebuild his and Yuki's relationship. That was why he had to keep a safe distance from Yuki by acting like he hated the guy. It was the only way that he could keep from losing himself. After sending the box one last longing gaze, he sighed and headed to his bathroom.

* * *

After hearing the shower turn on, Yuki took out his cell phone and dialed a number that was in his directory. After a few rings, the person on the other end picked up.

"Hello?" The person on the other end sounded groggy.

"Were you sleeping?" Not that Yuki really cared, but he figured that he would be polite considering that he was about to ask for a favor.

"No, I've been awake for a while. What's up, bro?"

"I… shit." Yuki had to swallow his pride for once, and he had to remind himself that this was for Shuichi. "I need your help."

"Boyfriend problems?" Tatsuha sounded more than a little amused.

Yuki glared, thinking that his younger brother was glad that he was all the way in Kyoto. "Something like that. How'd you know?"

"Sis called me yesterday."

Yuki sighed. This was one of the reasons why he didn't like his siblings—the fuckers didn't know how to stay out of his life and mind their own business. Reluctantly, he continued. "Yeah, well, I need some advice."

Tatsuha let out a hearty laugh on the other end of the phone. "You know, bro, it's ironic. You are the romance novelist here, so you should know what to do. But I'll help. What's in it for me, though?"

"Bye." Yuki was just about to press the end call button on his phone when Tatsuha stopped him.

"No, wait! I'm kidding. Can't you take a joke?"

"You're wasting my time."

"Technically, you're the one wasting your time. You haven't told me what you need help with."

Ignoring the remark, Yuki took a breath to prepare himself. "Well, he's gotten his memory erased, and—"

"I know that. Let me guess, you want to know how to win his heart again?"

Yuki vowed that whenever he got his hands on Touma and Mika, they're dead. "I wouldn't say all of that—"

"Plan a romantic dinner."

Yuki deadpanned. "You're shitting me, right? Why did I even call you in the first place?"

"Or buy him stuff."

"He's rich, why would he need me to buy him anything?"

"Do you want my advice or not?"

"I would take your advice if it wasn't so shitty."

"Well, I _never _have to use romance. People practically throw themselves at me."

"Tell me again why you aren't even close to getting Ryuichi?"

"Low blow, bro!" Tatsuha didn't sound too amused. "Anyways, think of a time in you and Shuichi's past that was romantic or took your relationship to the next step. Like something that you may have done that made him fall in love with you all over again. Try reenacting that moment."

Yuki was quiet for a moment, thinking about what his brother had said. Was there a time with Shuichi like that? After a few moments, an idea came up. It was perfect! "Yeah, thanks." He was about to hang up, then he heard Tatsuha yelling on the other end.

"Wait! Now, what were you saying about hooking me up with Ryuichi?"

"Not on your life."

"But I helped you! It's only fair!"

"When do I play fair?" Yuki hung up before Tatsuha could protest. A satisfied smirk crossed his features at what he was going to do for Shuichi. Why hadn't he thought of it himself?

"I'm ready." Shuichi's voice from the hall brought him out of his thoughts.

After feeling on his pockets to make sure that he had his car keys on him, Yuki stood and followed Shuichi to the front door. When he put on his shoes, he noticed that amethyst eyes were looking at him curiously. "What is it?"

"How are you going to take me to work when Touma dropped you off here?"

"We drove separate cars. Now, are we just going to stand here and talk, or am I taking you to work?" Despite his words, Yuki didn't mind wasting time with Shuichi. He could think of many ways to pass time.

"Don't rush me. We'll leave when I say that I'm ready." Shuichi glared at the older man. After a few seconds of staring at Yuki, he said, "I'm ready."

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kick your ass." Shuichi took a moment to look the novelist over thoroughly, and Yuki tried his best not to react off of that inquisitive look. If Shuichi didn't stop, then he was going to be late for work. Yuki was sure that he could come up with some… convincing methods to stay at the condo.

Finally, after unintentionally making the older male hot and bothered, Shuichi said, "You wouldn't win. Although you have a good right hook, you're scrawny, and wouldn't stand a chance against me if I were to actually put effort in fighting you."

After visualizing Shuichi dominating him, Yuki obtained a perverted smirk. While he wouldn't remain the submissive one in the relationship—it was a two time thing—the thought of Shuichi thinking that he actually had the power in their relationship aroused him. He needed fresh air, fast, and Shuichi's bedroom was testing his self-control.

With a slow gait, Yuki walked out of the door and waited for Shuichi to lock up so that he could head to the parking lot. When Shuichi was ready, he lead the way to his black BMW, noticing how the pop star's eyes lit up at the sight of the vehicle. "She's nice, isn't she?"

Shuichi nodded in response, circling around the car. He leaned down to check the tires, looked through the windows to see the interior, and ran a finger over the surface.

Yuki watched with amusement. Had it been a little over a year ago, Shuichi wouldn't have even looked at a car that way. The male was content with riding with other people, and he didn't really pay a car too much attention. Considering that the novelist had never seen the singer act this way, he allowed him to continue for the sake of entertainment. When he was sure that Shuichi had known so much as the grade of gas that he was using, he intervened. "Do you have your license?" He remembered all of the times in the past when Shuichi would beg him to teach him how to drive, but of course, he said no—hell no, actually. He knew that he would regret this later, but… what the hell.

Without looking up from the car, Shuichi responded with a yes, much to Yuki's surprise. Who would have taken up the job to accomplish such a miracle? Then again, the Shuichi that he knew and the one that was before him were almost two different people.

As if responding to his unasked question, Shuichi said, "You know, you learn how to drive when you have a gun pointed at your head. And before you ask, the reason why I don't have a car is because I haven't gotten around to buying one, nor did I know what kind I wanted. Looking at your car, though, makes me want to get one of these, except I want it in a navy blue color."

A frown graced the writer's features as he thought about that crazy American holding a gun to his Shuichi's head. However, he knew that K would be a good teacher, so he stared at the keys in his hand, and then tossed them over to Shuichi. To get things that you've never received before, you have to do things that you've never done before. Besides, he owed Shuichi that much and so much more considering that he never bothered to teach him how to drive. Damn it, how he wished he could take all of his past cruelties back. Now, he had to live with the fact that someone else got a chance to experience what he should have experienced.

Dumbfounded, Shuichi snatched the keys out of the air and watched as Yuki walked over to the passenger door. "You're going to let me drive?" He was surprised, to say the least.

For Shuichi to have gotten smarter in his absence, he sure was lacking in the commonsense area. "No, I gave them to you for your health. Hurry up and get in the car before I realize how idiotic I'm being and take my keys back."

The black-haired male shot him a half-hearted glare before walking to the driver's side. "Well, if you think that you're idiotic for doing so, then why give me the keys in the first place?" Shuichi slid into the car, waiting for the other male to get in to answer.

"Because... I trust you." Yuki slid in the passenger side, purposely avoiding eye contact. Where were these cheesy lines coming from? It was completely out of character for him.

Shuichi started the car, pondering over what he had heard. Could a guy who hadn't seen him for over a year, who didn't know the new him, put his trust in him so easily? Maybe this guy was a fool, and maybe he liked it. No, he couldn't like this guy, then again, he could. How many people did he know that would trust him with their car and life? It was… nice.

"I trust you to know that if you fuck up my ride and health, I will sue and kill your ass," Yuki added while trying to hide the slight upturn of the corners of his mouth.

Shuichi deadpanned. The jerk just had to go and ruin the moment. Not that he was complaining, though. Every second in this guy's presence was proving to be his undoing. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to accept the offer to drive—he may just be foolish enough to think that the guy really trusted him and wasn't bluffing. Shit, this temporary house guest shit was going to fuck him sideways.

* * *

When Shuichi pulled into NG's parking garage, he felt a sense of satisfaction. The whole ride went uneventful, and he proved to his ex-lover that he was one hell of a driver. He had come a far way from almost hitting people who were crossing the street—and on the sidewalk—all thanks to K. Looking over to Yuki with a smug expression, he frowned. The man looked less than satisfied with his driving. His driving was perfect, so why was the man looking like that? Irritated at his deflated ego, he asked the novelist what his problem was in a not-so-nice voice.

"Who are you? Everyone knows that you have the attention span of a squirrel, so how the hell did was your driving… flawless?"

Without honoring such a stupid question with a response, Shuichi tossed the writer his car keys and an extra set of keys for the condo and stepped out of the BMW. Within seconds, he found himself on his back with a hyperactive Ryuichi on top of him.

"Shu! I've waited so long for you to get here!" The older man hugged the groaning black-haired male, disregarding that he may have just given him a headache or concussion. "Whose car did you drive? Did you finally buy one? Are you going to take Kuma and I out for a ride one day?"

After recovering from his head meeting the ground for the second time by Ryuichi, Shuichi sat up, placing on a smile. No matter how painful the older male's behavior turned out to be for him, he could never get mad at the leader of Nittle Grasper. Ryuichi was his idol, after all, and he adored the male. Besides, it's not like he wasn't used to him by now. "The car is Yuki's."

"Oh," Ryuichi said, looking back at the said male who had emerged from the back of the car. "Let's go!" He grabbed Shuichi and ran off, leaving Yuki with his right eye twitching in annoyance.

* * *

As soon as Shuichi walked into the recording room, his amethyst eyes landed on his best friend, Hiro. After asking Ryuichi for some privacy with Hiro, he watched as the older male walked down the hall before closing the door.

"Oh, hey, Shu. I didn't expect to see you this early," the guitarist greeted as he tuned his instrument.

"Yeah, Yuki let me drive his car." The singer walked over to take a seat next to the brunet, watching with little interest as various strings on Hiro's guitar were being tweaked.

Hiro's expression darkened slightly at the mentioning of Yuki's name. He didn't trust the male or his tricks. "Be careful. I don't know what he has up his sleeve, but I don't trust him."

"I know." Shuichi leaned his head back, trying to ignore the slight headache that was pulsing within his skull.

"Just don't rush to give him your heart, again," Hiro said, sitting his guitar down. He then turned his full gaze to his friend.

"I won't, and you sound like we're going to get back together." Shuichi ignored the probing look that Hiro was giving him.

"I don't know for certain, but there is a high chance of it happening. Shu, I just don't want to see you hurt."

"I know, and I will be damned if I allow myself to fall into a position to be hurt. Now, where are K, Fujisaki, and Mr. Sakano? Shouldn't they be here by now?"

"Dunno, it's still sort of early. And if I didn't know any better, I would say that you're trying to evade this conversation."

"Perhaps. Well, I should get started on some new lyrics. And, Hiro?" Shuichi stood and looked down at his friend.

"Hm?"

"I promise that I won't put you through hell, again." Shuichi gave a brilliant smile that instantly lit up the room. The last thing that he wanted was for Hiro to worry about him.

* * *

"You look like shit, Seguchi," Yuki greeted Touma as he walked into the president's office. He didn't miss the dark circles that were under Touma's eyes, and he wondered if he looked the same, considering that he had also stayed up all night.

The blond behind the desk looked up, smiling when he realized who had just entered. "You know, Eiri, a simple hello would suffice," he lightly scolded, "and would you refer to me as brother at least once?"

"Don't hold your breath." Yuki took a seat in front of the enormous desk. "In fact, I take that back. Please, do hold your breath."

Despite the harsh words that he had just received, Touma's smile didn't falter. "Not that I'm complaining, but is there a reason that you've decided to stop by? And, by the way, you don't look like you've gotten much sleep, either. Could it be because you were indulging in… activities with Shindo?"

With a bored expression, Yuki met the older male's gaze. "I need Shuichi to have some time off, and do you know how disturbing it is to have you inquiring about my love life?"

Touma ignored Yuki's last comment. "How long?" He knew not to ask why his brother-in-law wanted Shuichi to have time off.

"About a week, but let him finish the rest of the day. And if Shuichi tells me anything about you giving him shit, then you're dead."

"I will have it taken care of. And don't worry about Shindo. Eiri?"

After standing up, Yuki looked down at the other blond. "What?"

"He's not the same person that you fell in love with."

Without responding, Yuki headed for the door. Don't Touma know that he already knew that? Yes, Shuichi may be different, but that doesn't change his feelings for the male. No matter what, Shindo Shuichi will always be Shindo Shuichi.

After some time of comparing the old Shuichi with the new Shuichi, Yuki found himself standing in front of his BMW in the parking garage. He deadpanned, and he was pretty sure that his eye was twitching at the sight before him.

On his black BMW were drawings of penises… everywhere! The windows, doors, trunk, hood, and top were covered with the male organ for reproduction. They were different shapes and sizes, and to make matters worse, they were all drawn in some type of white marker, effectively standing out on the black car.

He had a suspect in mind, but that person would have used a lot of colors, right? Besides, he hadn't done anything to piss that particular person off. Whoever it was, though, was going to pay dearly.

He let out a heavy sigh and pulled out his pack of cigarettes. Before he could all of the errands that he had planned, he would have to go to the carwash. Lady luck was on the unknown culprit's side today because Yuki didn't have the time to track them down… yet.

* * *

"If you don't mind me asking, why have you called us up here?" K eyed his smiling boss with suspicion. Most times, it was never good to get called into Touma's office.

"You get straight to the point, Mr. K—I like that in you." Touma glanced at the American before diverting his gaze the Shuichi. "Shindo Shuichi, as of the end of this work day, you and the rest of Bad Luck— including the manager and producer—will be on a week vacation."

"What? You can't just delay our work!" K slammed his hands on the table, standing up. "Shuichi's creativity is raging, and we are well on our way to our next album!"

It was Shuichi's turn to give Touma an incredulous glare. "What are you playing at?"

Despite the chaos that was occurring, Touma remained unmoved by his employees. "Mr. K, I can, and I will. Don't worry, neither of you are going to be unemployed. I feel that Mr. Shindo has done an excellent job, and I think it would be best if I gave Bad Luck a little time to relax. You don't appreciate my kind gesture?" A disturbing gleam flashed through Touma's green eyes, daring the room's other occupants to continue with their arguments. When they took the hint and stayed silent, he dismissed them.

* * *

After checking to make sure that the car cover that was on top of the brand new BMW was neatly in place, Yuki took a step back with satisfaction in his golden eyes. Just like Shuichi had wanted, he had gotten the car in navy blue. It had taken some time to find the perfect BMW for his ex-lover, but it all had worked out in the end. He couldn't wait to see the joy in the younger male's eyes when he took the cover off.

Checking his watch, Yuki noticed that he had about an hour before Shuichi got off of work at five, so he would need to hurry and shower if he intended to keep his seats at the restaurant that he had booked for him and Shu. Man, it was hell getting the reservation at such a short notice, but he had managed.

His whole day had centered around Shuichi. All of the talking to Touma, taking his car to get the penises washed off, coming back to the condo to make dinner reservations, taking a cab to the car dealership to buy Shu's car, then coming back was more than a little exhausting. He didn't know how he was still upright, much less awake, but if he had to, he would do it all over again for Shuichi.

On his trek back into the condo, he found himself wondering why he was going through all of this trouble for some one. He would have never put forth the effort before. Then again, he had never known how precious Shuichi was to him until he was separated from the male for such an extended time. He only wished that he would have treated Shuichi better before he had gotten his memory erased.

Shit, he had lost so much time today that he could have been using for his story, but on a different note, when did he ever make his deadlines? It was sad how he had never spent the time that was consumed by writer's block with Shuichi in the past like he was doing now. Come to think of it, he had always pushed Shuichi away and rarely spent time with the male, disregarding the singer's pleas for more quality time. He was such a bad boyfriend. It was a good thing that he had received a second chance—most people didn't.

When he walked in the condo, he immediately went to gather his laptop so that he could put it away. On his way to the coffee table, he spotted a red light blinking on the cordless phone's base that was in the kitchen. Overwhelmed with curiosity, he approached the black machine, noticing that the red light was for a voicemail. Finding no harm in seeing what the message was, he pressed the play button.

"Why do I have to call him again?" Shuichi's voice reverberated through the kitchen.

Hiro's voice spoke from the background, sounding smug. "It's common courtesy so that your house guest won't worry." The guitarist was fucking mocking him!

"Whatever, _mother_! Anyways, Yuki, I'm going to Ryuichi's after work, so I won't need a ride home, and don't expect me to come home early. Kay? Bye." The message ended.

Yuki replayed the message three more times to make sure that he had heard it correctly. Here he was, being a corny romantic, and Shuichi chose today to not come home on time? He had made reservations for a fancy restaurant and bought Shuichi a new car only for him to get blown off. He didn't know which was worst—the pain that had built up in his chest from Shuichi ditching him for Ryuichi, or knowing that he had swallowed his pride to go out of his way to make Shuichi happy for his plans to be ruined.

Did Shu feel this way in the past when he had blown the boy off purposely? Was it punishment for his wrong doings against the younger male? Whatever it was, he didn't like it. Karma was most definitely a bitch, and it had puppies.

To worsen his pain, the thought of Shuichi going to Ryuichi's instead of spending time with him was a hard blow to the heart. Knowing that he ranked lower than the kiddy-man was already too hard to swallow, and rubbing it in his face didn't help, either. He wanted to bring back the time when he was Shuichi's number one priority, and the pink bear-lover was making it difficult for him to reclaim his position. He didn't like nor want the competition.

Fuck. His. Life.

* * *

Three hours and a pack of cigarettes later, Yuki stood from the couch. Something wasn't right—he didn't know what it was, but he would find out. After grabbing his car keys, he headed to the door. The outside world had better watch out—a pissed and rejected Yuki was the last person that someone would want to cross.

**Chapter End**

To be perfectly honest, the reason that an update took so long was because of my lack of motivation. If I feel that readers are losing an interest in a story of mine, then my interest for the story depletes, too.


	11. Chapter 10

**Bittersweet Void**

Thanks to you all, I've reached over fifty reviews! In celebration, here is a long chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation

**Chapter Ten**

Blue eyes full of love and adoration stared into the pleasant green ones as Ryuichi walked into Touma's office. The singer of Nittle Grasper tore across the room, throwing himself over the older male's desk, colliding with Touma with a flying hug, nearly sending them both to the floor. "Touma, did you miss Kuma and I?"

The blond chuckled at his long-time friend's behavior before gesturing for the vocalist to sit down on one of the chairs that were across the desk. When Ryuichi was seated—it didn't matter that he kept bouncing in place—Touma spoke up. "I missed you very much." His pleasant smile faded. "Ryuichi, how long have we been friends?"

"Since before I can remember! We've always been best friends!" A child-like smile graced the hyper male's features.

Despite the positive energy that the younger male was displaying, this was no time for games. Touma's eyes turned serious, and his lips pressed into a thin line. "Taking that into account, you know why I've call you here, don't you?"

Sensing the sudden change in the atmosphere, Ryuichi's immature demeanor changed into that of a mature adult, and he put all games aside. "I don't know what you're talking about." His voice was impassive, hiding his current thoughts and emotions.

"Please tell me that the reason that you insisted on helping with Aizawa was just because Shindo is your friend? Tell me that your emotions don't run any deeper than that."

Ryuichi stood from the chair and walked over to the large window that overlooked the city behind Touma's desk. "I cannot tell you that," he answered with his back turned.

"Although I can't really influence you on this matter, I do want to make the suggestion that you do not allow your love for Shindo to cross the friendship barrier that is erected between you two." Touma placed his elbows on the desk and clasped his hands together, resting his forehead on them.

"Are you threatening me?" Ryuichi turned cold blue eyes to the president of NG, looking like every part of the demon that he was the previous night.

Wearing a shocked expression, Touma turned to meet Ryuichi's gaze. "No, Ryuichi, you of all people should know that I would never threaten you." A small glimpse of hurt flashed through his eyes—whether it was feigned or genuine was unknown. "You know that I would love to help you pursue your interest, and had it been anyone but Shindo, I would have. However, I cannot help you in this case. Eiri's happiness is my number one priority."

Ryuichi's eyes softened as he turned back to the window, and it seemed that he was seeing more than the city below him. A smile tugged at his lips despite the situation at hand. "Have you ever laid eyes on someone and knew right then and there that they were your world? Have that person's natural light caused all of your old dreams and aspirations to arise? Have you ever seen the world anew because that person's innocence demanded that you do so? Have you ever received a new perspective and purpose to live because of that person? Have you ever awakened, knowing that the world was alright because that person was in it?" Ryuichi turned an all-knowing gaze to Touma, digging into the older male's soul.

Touma returned Ryuichi's gaze with one of sadness and empathy. "You've known me longer than anyone, Ryuichi. You know the answer to that. You also know that it is for the same reason that I'm asking you to not pursue Shindo." The president of NG joined the younger male at the window.

"When I met him, I was able to overcome the demons from my past." Ryuichi's blue eyes darkened in retrospect, and Touma spared him a sympathetic gaze. They were the only two who had known about the singer's past, and it was anything but pretty. "After Shu came into my life, I didn't have to live a lie anymore because I had become youthful and vibrant. I didn't have to hide from my past anymore because it had ceased to matter."

A defeated sigh escaped Touma's lips. He knew that he was losing the battle. Ryuichi was his best friend, and he cared deeply about the male. Ryuichi knew that, and he was determined to play at his emotions in a way that only he and Eiri knew how to. This was truly a troublesome situation. "Ryuichi, I cannot support your cause."

"He was so pure and joyful. He was the type of person that you would want to lock away from the world so that no one or nothing could harm him. Then, tragedy struck, and you could do nothing but watch helplessly as his light died, and he changed into a completely different person. In hindsight, you blamed yourself because you couldn't stop it, yet you felt like you should have seen the signs so that you could've prevented the whole situation. Now, you have to live with your guilt, and your main goal is to bring back his light—the one that you've become addicted to and yearn for in its absence. You want to save him, thus saving yourself, for a piece of you died with that light."

The blond closed his eyes, hiding uncontained emotion. Ryuichi had combined and represented both Shuichi and Yuki with that story. Yuki had lost his light with Kitazawa, and Shuichi had lost his with Yuki. Ryuichi had successfully struck an empathetic cord by putting himself and Touma in the same boat, and both were working for the same cause, except it was for two different people. With the comparison came reason, though. He couldn't just allow Ryuichi to break Yuki again, no matter how much he and Ryuichi emphasized with each other. "I'm sorry, but I can't."

"It was hard watching the one that you love, love someone else. You pretended that you were happy, but on the inside, you were dying. You didn't want to interfere with their relationship, even though you knew that you could've treated them better, but you didn't want to ruin the love that they had. You looked at the one who had stolen their heart, and you envied them and the way that they kept the flame that you admired burning. You thought that it should've been you keeping that flame alive, not them."

"Even though I've told you that I cannot help your cause, you keep going. What are you trying to accomplish?" Touma's voice came out a little less strong than he would have liked. He was definitely cracking as Ryuichi kept telling a double story, exploiting both of their feelings.

"Touma, I've respected the boundaries when Shu was with Yuki. I've had to watch Yuki kill Shuichi's light, and not wanting to confuse him or become a meaningless rebound, I waited for him to recover. I know that you love Yuki more than anything, but I could care less about how he feels. I refuse to just stand by and give him permission to hurt Shu again. Shu is on the market again, and I will not stand idly while Yuki takes what is mine. I was considerate enough to not ruin Yuki's relationship when they were a couple, but they aren't anymore. I'm playing fair, and my reasons are justified.

"Let's say that circumstances were different for you, and you aren't married to Mika, but Shu and Yuki still had a relationship. Let's also say that this was a little over a year ago, and they were still together. Also, swap the roles where it was Shu being cold to Yuki, instead. While you despised Shu, you loved Yuki and didn't interfere with his choice. Afterwards, Shu breaks Yuki's heart one too many times, so Yuki decides to abandon the relationship. For a year, you wait for Yuki to learn how to live again, and you wait for the right time to make your move, only to have Shu return for Yuki. Would you hold your feelings in check to not only allow Yuki to be taken off the market again, but also to the very same person who had hurt them in the first place?"

Green eyes hid behind their lids to once again hide the emotion behind them. It wasn't fair when the person who knew you the most hit you below the belt like that, but the method was highly effective. Still, he couldn't just let Ryuichi take Shuichi away from Eiri. He had at least two more tactics to try before he gave up. "And if Shindo rejects you?"

"Then he will know that he has other options, and he doesn't have to settle for less." Ryuichi's reply was quick and sure.

"How will you go about trying to win his heart?" All emotion was gone from the green eyes as they reemerged from behind their eyelids, meeting with blue ones that were just as serious.

"I know that you are trying to make sure that I don't target Yuki, but you should know me better than that. My concern is with Shu, I have no interest in outside parties. I'm not the type to try to eliminate my competition, and as much as I don't like Yuki, I will not touch him. In fact, I act like he doesn't exist when I'm around him. Besides, _when_ Shu chooses me, I will know that he genuinely wants to be with me and not just because he feels that he has no other option."

"I will not stop in my attempts to dissuade you. Also, I will not be responsible for Eiri's actions." Touma returned to his seat.

"And if you did, I would wonder if you were alright. The Touma that I know is stubborn, and he will try his hardest to get his way." Ryuichi turned toward the older male.

Touma looked up at the younger male. "And the Ryuichi that I know is just as stubborn."

"You've been protecting me and taking care of me for over twenty years, and I'm grateful, but I don't need you to protect me from Yuki." Ryuichi started toward the door after offering Touma a smile that dissipated any tension that lingered in the room. "And Touma, please don't allow this discussion to tear apart our lifelong friendship. Just think about it, if I steal Shu away from Yuki, then you could finally pursue your true prize, even if you were just a rebound."

"You know that I cannot do that." Touma sent Ryuichi a disapproving look. He couldn't indulge in his fantasies, but he wanted to so bad.

"Bye, Touma! Kuma and I love you!" Ryuichi reverted back to being immature, closing the door after himself.

Touma shook his head at the singer's exit. This had to have been the first time that the two have come so close to falling out, but in the end, he couldn't stay mad at Ryuichi. He just didn't have the heart to. Had it been anyone else, though, then he would have. He supposed that this whole conversation didn't even matter. Besides, he was already three steps ahead of the younger male, and he already had a back-up plan ready in case this scheme had failed. He had to admit, though, Ryuichi did have an excellent argument, and had they been talking about someone other than Eiri, Ryuichi would have won.

On a different note, Ryuichi was right in saying that he was stubborn, and that he would try his hardest to get his way. He left out one important fact in his statement, though—Touma _always_ got his way… except with Eiri.

After a moment of thinking about how bad it was that he had to choose between his best friend and the one that he loved the most, his office phone rung, interrupting Touma. He considered not answering it for a moment, but thought better of it. Before the phone went to voicemail, he grabbed the receiver. "This is Seguchi… So he's invited Shindo over… And what did Shindo say… I see, so he will be spending the evening with Ryuichi… Have you heard anything about Eiri… Oh, he just called Eiri to tell him… No, don't stop Shindo, let him go… Yes, I have everything taken care of… The most that you can do for me is keep me updated… Now, if there isn't anything else, then I have to go… Bye."

With a cunning smile, Touma pressed the button on the base of his wired phone to hang it up. After holding it for a few moments, he released it and dialed a number. When the person picked up on the other end, he said, "It seems like you finally get your turn in this whole ordeal. My office is now free for discussing our plans."

* * *

Shuichi, Hiro, and Ryuichi all loaded into the back of NG's low profile van. When they were all secure, K glanced back to make sure that they were ready for him to leave. After Hiro was situated in one of the middle seats and the singers in the back seats, they gave the American the okay to go. With a cake-eating smile, he turned back to the road before assuming the chauffeur position.

"It's odd how you volunteered to take us to Ryuichi's. What's in it for you?" Shuichi asked suspiciously.

"I'm doing this as a personal favor for Ryuichi," K responded while keeping his eyes on the road.

Shuichi wasn't convinced. "Then why are you smiling like that? I've come to know that as your scheming smile." The American was plotting something, and he was determined to find out.

"Don't worry about him, Shu," Ryuichi assured while playing with Kumagoro. "We're gonna have fun! Isn't that right, Hiro?" Blue eyes separated from the pink bear to land on the brunet.

"Sorry guys, I can't come. Ayaka wants me to come home on time today." Blood rushed to Hiro's cheeks, and he nervously rubbed the back of his head.

"You mean no Hiro?" Ryuichi frowned, putting on his best puppy dog look and directed it at the guitarist.

Shuichi's eyes widened a slight bit, and his heartbeat quickened. He hadn't known that Hiro couldn't make it. He knew that he should have still been elated because he was going over his idol's house; however, he felt nervous about the whole situation. Maybe it was just because it would be his first time in his idol's domain. Whatever the case was, it still felt wrong to be over there alone. He felt like he should be guilty, like he was hurting someone by doing so, but none of it made sense. A fleeting thought crossed his mind that he should excuse to go home, too. Along with that, there was a piece of him that sort of missed his houseguest a small, little fraction. What was wrong with him today?

"Earth to Shuichi!" Hiro waved a hand in front of the singer's face to get his attention, snapping the man out of his stupor.

Oh yeah, he was supposed to be responding to Hiro about him having to go home early for Ayaka. Unlike his idol, Shuichi was excited for Hiro despite the predicament that it left him in. Not to mention that it provided him with a subject that he could tease Hiro about to help smother his current anxiety.

A perverted smirk crept up on Shuichi's face, and he pumped a fist in the air. "Yeah, get some!" His enthusiasm then deflated as fast as it arose. "Wait, how come I just learned about you and Ayaka dating two days ago? I haven't even heard about her in the last year or so. I thought that we were closer than that." Shuichi glared at his guitarist.

"We were keeping everything that would remind you of Yuki away from you," Hiro murmured, ashamed that he had to keep secrets from Shuichi.

Before Shuichi could respond, K added, "And it's a good thing that we did. You remeber the reaction that you had to her when you saw her at Hiroshi's? Let's not forget the one that you had toward her when she showed up at your door."

Shuichi deadpanned. "How do you even know about both of those? You weren't at Hiro's, and you came to my place until after the fact. Wait, come to think of it, you knew everything that happened before you even got there. Mind giving me an explanation?"

"Squirrel!" K yelled, yanking the steering wheel to the left, throwing Hiro and Ryuichi into the right windows. Since Shuichi was sitting on the left of Ryuichi, he slammed into the older singer. As if that wasn't bad enough, K slammed on the brakes, bringing the van to a screeching halt. The blond then turned to face his passengers while ignoring their many shouts of displeasure, saying, "You know, you guys really should buckle up."

"What the hell was that for, K?" Shuichi yelled over the other two.

"I didn't want to hit the squirrel, of course." A look of innocence played on K's face. Shrugging after seeing that his passengers were alive and livid, he turned back to the road and resumed driving.

"Are you okay, Shu?" Ryuichi's voice interjected.

The black-haired singer turned to the older singer. Upon realizing that he was all but sitting in Ryuichi's lap and that their faces were no more than two inches away from each other, Shuichi hurriedly scooted back to the left window while apologizing profusely to his idol. Automatically, he buckled up and stared out the window to hide the pink shade to his face. It just didn't feel right to be that close to the older male, and he was highly embarrassed.

Noticing the predicament that his best friend was in, Hiro decided to lighten the mood a little by means of a distraction. "So, Shu, we were talking about Ayaka and I dating."

Relief washed over Shuichi's face, and he silently thanked Hiro. His friend was too good to him sometimes. With this revelation, guilt arose in the singer. "You know that I… I, ah, didn't mean what I said about her. Truth be told, I didn't know what came over me. I'm happy for you two."

"I know that you didn't, but can you please try to control your subconscious thoughts _if_ you're ever around her again? Best friend or not, nobody talks about her like that and gets away with it."

Shuichi blinked a few times at Hiro's hidden threat. Never before had he seen Hiro so serious with his threats to him, and never before had the guitarist been so passionate about someone. It was… admirable, and telling from the look in the brunet's eyes, he was deeply in love. Wanting to not think about how nice it would be to have someone feel that way about him, he decided to change his train of thoughts back to teasing his best friend. "Hiro, you're sprung!"

The brunet turned a beet red color. "Am not!"

"Then… pussy-whipped?" Shuichi added with a chuckle.

"Kuma, what does pussy-whipped mean?" Ryuichi looked to his pink companion for answers. After staring at the bunny for a prolonged period of time, he whispered, "I don't know either."

Ignoring the way that Hiro's eyebrow twitched, Shuichi added, "Or how abou—"

Hiro's fist interrupted the singer when it collided with Shuichi's mouth. "That is enough from you!"

"Hiro, you're so mean!" Ryuichi yelled, causing everyone in the van to flinch—he definitely had the lungs of a singer. "Are you okay, Shu?" He leaned in close to the younger male's face to inspect it.

Shuichi nearly hit his head against the window when he jerked back from the closeness of his idol. He put his hands in front of him assuring the older singer that he was alright and that Hiro didn't hit him that hard. That was the second time in a short period that he was so close to Ryuichi that he could feel the cool minty breath of the older singer on his face and it felt almost sensual, although he was sure that it was purely innocent. He hadn't realized that he was holding his breath until Ryuichi slid back over to his side of the van.

To ignore the weird sensation of his insides turning into mush and the unknown guilt that had arisen again, Shuichi directed his attention to the unhappy Hiro and laughed at how adorable the guitarist looked. To be honest, the male looked like an upset kitten, and that was a side of Hiro that little to none got a chance to witness. When Shuichi's laughter finally ceased, he put on a straight face because he had received a pointed look from the Hiro that didn't look so cute anymore. He could almost hear Hiro telling him to shut it. Once his friend had turned back around, Shuichi smiled, and then meowed like a cat, signifying that his friend was pussy-whipped.

"You're so dead!" The brunet was just about to jump into the back, but he was stopped by a stuffed pink bunny hitting him in the head.

"Kumagoro beam!"

Confused, Hiro blinked at the older male a few times. When he saw what looked like anger behind the child-like act, he decided that now wasn't the time to go after Shuichi. He then sent Shuichi a look that told him that when his body guard wasn't around, he would feel his wrath. The last thing that he needed was to receive a ton of random reactions from the singer of Nittle Grasper.

"Hiro wasn't being nice! But, Shu, you weren't being nice either! You shouldn't mess with him about being in love. It's the greatest feeling ever!" Without waiting from a response from Shuichi, Ryuichi grabbed Kuma and started playing with him again.

Feeling sheepish despite the slight scolding that he had just received from his idol, Shuichi waited until Hiro faced forward again before meowing again. He could practically see Hiro's hair stand on end, but the older male didn't turn around like he had hoped. Well, there goes his fun and distraction. Now what else was he going to do on this trip to not feel bad about going over Ryuichi's?

"And that's a wrap!" K exclaimed, turning off a small video camera. When Ryuichi tilted his head at the device in a questionable gesture, K said, "You know, that little fight could bring in a lot of publicity. It could be called _Bad Luck and Grasper Gone Wild _or _Shindo, Nakano, and Sakuma: Behind Closed Doors_. It could even be called _Pussy-whipped or Sprung?_"

Hiro deadpanned at his manager's antics of always trying to promote the band. He then realized that K was supposed to have been driving, not recording a video. Silently praying that the van was parked and not in motion, he asked, "How long have we been sitting here?"

K blinked a few times in confusion at Hiro. "We aren't sitting, we're still moving."

"What?"

"Calm down, Shuichi," K laughed, "we're parked outside of Ryuichi's." The manager waved a dismissive hand in the air. "How irresponsible do you think that I am?" When all but Ryuichi gave him flat looks, he brandished a pistol, pointing it back and forth between the two members of Bad Luck. "Well?"

Ignoring K, Shuichi's mind raced at the thought that he had run out of time to think of an excuse to get out of hanging out with Ryuichi alone. Although it seemed impossible, he couldn't lose hope just yet. There had to have been a way to politely worm his way out of it. If not, then Yuki would be mad at him. Wait, why was he thinking of Yuki?

"Shu, let's go!" In an attempt to get Shuichi inside quickly and to save the younger male from K, Ryuichi grabbed Shuichi's arm and all but dragged him out of the vehicle, killing Shuichi's plot for an escape.

When the two had disappeared into Ryuichi's condominium, Hiro turned to K. "You know that Ryuichi has a crush on Shu. And I know that with that knowledge, you're hoping that Shu will get with Ryuichi, causing Bad Luck to go higher than we already are. Also, you're thinking that by Shuichi being with his idol, he will become super motivated in his music. You're indirectly defying Touma's rule about not interfering with Yuki and Shuichi for the well-being of Bad Luck."

"Even if those were my plans, you weren't trying to stop me—you even made up an excuse so those two could have some alone time. Perhaps you want him to get with Ryuichi more than I do." K was just as perceptive.

"I just want him to play the fields before he makes any final decisions. In the end, he will choose who he wants without regrets, whether it be Yuki or Ryuichi."

"Devious, aren't we?"

Hiro shook his head. "No, I just want him to be happy."

"You need to lose your nobility and do something bad for a change." K scowled at the younger male. "Seriously, Hirosho, you act like an old man."

"You're the one who is almost one hundred years old." Much to Hiro's displeasure, the sound of a gun cocking followed his comment.

* * *

When the door to Ryuichi's condo closed, Shuichi knew that something was different. It felt like the atmosphere in the surrounding area had changed completely. Curious as to what was different but unable to bring himself to investigate, he took more time than needed to take off his shoes. When he had finished that task, he took a deep breath before meeting the blue gaze that he could feel on him. It was when his amethyst eyes collided with his idol that he realized that Ryuichi was the reason for the change in atmosphere. Before him wasn't the child-like man that he had known and loved—it was completely different person with the same face. The man before him was the very essence of Ryuichi with no facades in place. Those blue eyes that usually sparkled with a child's happiness held the knowledge of the real world and told many stories full of wisdom and hardships. Shuichi feared Ryuichi in this moment, but at the same time, he was in awe.

"What's wrong, Shu? You look like you've seen a ghost." Ryuichi casually walked across the living room to place Kumagoro on the couch. His stride was unhurried and that of complete confidence and grace.

Shuichi blinked as his eyes followed the other man's movements. It was then that he noticed that the condominium was clean, countering his assumptions of Ryuichi's place being completely cluttered and uninhabitable. Also, the carpet and curtains were a beige color, while the furniture was black. The little pieces of wall that weren't covered in framed pictures and awards were surprisingly white. The Ryuichi that he knew—or thought that he knew—would have all types of bright and crazy colors in his living quarters, or at least that was what he used to assume. This humanistic layout only proved two things to Shuichi—the man that he idolized was only human, and he had been hiding his true self from the world.

"Well, are you going to come in, or are you just going to stand at the door?" Ryuichi chuckled, running a hand through his dark hair.

Shuichi shuddered at his idol's voice. It was completely different from the high-pitched version that he was used to. It was deeper and more compelling, causing Shuichi's skin to tingle with every syllable. The real Ryuichi was hazardous, and Shuichi had grown uncomfortable. The line of friendship that had been built between the two singers dissolved, leaving the younger male to see Ryuichi for what he really was—his idol who he knew nothing about. He felt so inferior to the older male that it was intimidating. Would it even be appropriate to keep referring to the older man so casually? "Mr. Sakuma, I don't know if this was such a good idea." His amethyst eyes went to the ground, unable to face his idol.

Fingers that didn't belong to him ran through Shuichi's black locks, causing him to flinch. "Don't do that, Shu. Don't treat me like I'm different because you feel that you don't know me. I'm a human, just like you are. And just because I'm not acting immature doesn't mean that I'm any less Ryuichi than you are any less Shuichi."

Shuichi stepped out of Ryuichi's grasp, walking over to the couch. "You're so different now, though. I just thought that who I've come to know was the way that you were. I didn't know that there is another side to you. You seem more human, thus making you more inhuman."

"The immaturity is a part of me… to a point. When I was younger something terrible happened, so I used to act immature as a defense mechanism to help me cope, and it helped me convince myself that the world was still rainbows and sunny days. After I got a little older and we started Nittle Grasper, I started using it as a façade to deal with stress, and I found out that part of my charismatic charm was because of that same child-like attitude, so I refused to let it go, if only for the sake of the public eye. It had been going on so long, though, that I've come to rely on it. I know that I could drop the façade now without harming my career, but there is always that fear that the public won't accept the real me. The mask has been on for so long that it has become a part of me, and I'm scared that if I let it go, then I would no longer be the person who I am today. I know it sounds crazy, but the point of me telling you that was to let you know that I'm still the same person who you know."

To say that Shuichi was shocked would be an understatement. His idol had just trusted him with his flaws and insecurities, and it felt like they had a stronger bond than before.

After adequately composing himself, Shuichi turned to Ryuichi, seeing the fear of rejection shining behind those blue eyes. The older singer was afraid that he would not accept him for who he truly was, but Shuichi knew that despite the older male's fear, he would never turn his back on his idol. He was in too deep, and he couldn't even imagine abandoning the male. "Anyone who would reject the real you would be a fool." And he would be the last person to commit such a crime.

"Thank you, Shu. That really means a lot to me." Ryuichi gave a bright smile that lit up the room.

"Yeah." Shuichi nodded at the other male, giving a smile of his own. Despite having the feeling that something was off, he forced himself to stay. He just wished that whatever it was that he felt like he was missing would just go away. It was him and his idol, and he should be happy, not missing something that he didn't even know.

His last thought before a stereo was turned on by Ryuichi was that he hoped that Yuki was doing okay. Then again, why should he even care?

* * *

Hiro walked into his apartment and took off his shoes. His heartbeat increased when his eyes landed on the angel that was occupying his couch. Even though they had been dating for over a year, he still fell in love with her all over again every time that he looked at her. Numerous times in the past, he would wonder how he had gotten so lucky and obtained such a treasure. He knew that he didn't deserve her, but he was not complaining.

"Hiro?"

Without thinking, he was kneeled in front of her, waiting on her next words. That beautiful voice of hers was his undoing, and he would do anything that it asked of him. "Yes, what is it?"

"Please, leave Eiri be." Large blue eyes looked at him, piercing his soul.

He grabbed the hand that she had used to punch Shuichi with and ran his thumb over the light bruise that was left behind. He leaned down to kiss it before he turned his attention back to her eyes. "Where is this coming from?"

With her free hand, Ayaka brushed it over the darkening around Hiro's eye. "He loves Shindo very much, and I just want him to be happy." She didn't miss the way that Hiro's eyes narrowed slightly. "Don't take it the wrong way. Looking back, him choosing Shindo over me was the greatest thing that could have happened because I was able to experience how great of a man that you are. I have abandoned my feelings for him a long time ago, but I still want him to be happy. Shindo is the best person for him, and I want you as Shindo's best friend to give Eiri your blessings. You two can't keep fighting like you did at Shindo's because one day you're going to get more than a barely noticeable black eye, and I don't want that. I don't want you to keep risking your life and health." Her eyes shimmered, and she averted her gaze to the side.

Feeling his heart shatter at Ayaka's unshed tears, he leaned up and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "Don't do that, Ayaka." He let out a heavy sigh. "As much as I would like to leave Shuichi and his decisions alone, I can't. Yuki has to prove to me that he is good enough for Shuichi." He tried to ignore the look on Ayaka's face, for he knew that he was putty in her hands. After releasing another large sigh, he added, "Okay, I will, but first he has to pass my test." The smile from Ayaka that followed his statement caused his heart to swell. Immediately after, her arms flew around him in a hug, and she thanked him. He would do anything for that smile to remain on Ayaka's face. Shuichi was right—he was sprung.

* * *

With the nagging feeling that Ryuichi was trying to steal Shuichi from him, Yuki all but snatched the front door of Shuichi's condo off of its hinges in his haste and anger. When he saw that Hiro was on the other side about to knock, he stopped in his advancement to his car. If Hiro was here, then where was Shuichi? His eyes searched the surrounding areas before widening at the realization that Hiro hadn't gone with Shuichi to Ryuichi's, meaning that the vocalist of Bad Luck was alone with Ryuichi. Although he didn't suspect that the older vocalist would try anything, he didn't push the possibility out of his mind because he didn't trust Ryuichi as far as he could throw him. "Why the fuck did you leave _him_ and Shuichi alone? It's been three hours since all of you got off of work!"

Hiro's eyes narrowed at the novelist with as much hostility as Yuki felt. "Yeah, what of it? Shuichi can take care of himself." His hands clenched into fist at his side.

"And what if that freak tries something with him?" Yuki took a step toward Hiro in his anger. He was already upset, and beating the guitarist to a bloody pulp would help him a great deal.

Hiro didn't back down, instead he met the challenge by taking a step forward, too. "And if Ryuichi tries something with Shuichi, then he has a right to, just like anyone else. Shuichi is _single_ and has been ever since you didn't return from New York."

Yuki grabbed a fistful of Hiro's shirt, snatching him closer. "I don't give a fuck! As far as I'm concerned, no one has any right to do anything that they want with Shuichi!" Yuki all but growled out.

Instead of breaking away from the novelist's hold on him, Hiro saw that he was getting under the older male's skin, so he decided to keep talking. "Face the facts. Your claim isn't legitimate on Shuichi so he can do whatever he wants with whomever. If he decides to choose another, then let him. You didn't give a damn about him before, so why start now?" A smirk appeared on Hiro's mouth when the blond released him.

Yuki turned away from Hiro, gazing at the darkening sky. "That's not true," he voiced barely above a whisper.

Being surprised at the older male's response, Hiro quirked an eyebrow in curiosity. "What's not true?" He advanced on Yuki's turned back, trying to hear his words better.

Yuki whipped around, his golden eyes full of unrestrained love. "I did care about Shuichi. I wasn't the best at expressing that, but I did fucking care. I did, I do, and I will always care for him, and that's why nobody can fucking have him except for me."

Hiro wouldn't have been more surprised if he seen a purple pig fly by. Did Yuki just really show some form of emotion besides that detached impassiveness? Shit! Perhaps Ayaka was right.

"Tell me something, Nakano." Yuki fixed hard eyes onto the younger male. "Does Ryuichi like Shuichi?"

The novelist's question snapped Hiro out of his thoughts of disbelief. Yuki did pass his test, so it would only be fair to answer the blonde's question to level out the competition. "Yeah."

"Fuck!" In his aggravation, Yuki ran a hand through his already messy hair. Without so much as another glance at the guitarist, Yuki headed to his car. He needed to get to Shuichi.

Hiro turned to watch the other man go. As much as he hated the guy, he couldn't help but admire the love that the novelist had for his friend. Yes, the guy did break Shuichi's heart, but the look in his eyes was that of someone who had learned his lesson and would bring the moon to Shuichi if he asked for it. He would give the blond one more chance, and if he messed that up, then he would have hell to pay. "You better not mess up again!" he yelled at the departing BMW. Despite his girlfriend's words, though, he still preferred if Ryuichi won his friend's heart. However, he would keep his preferences to himself. In this war that was bound to turn out ugly, he would stay noncommittal, only because of Ayaka.

* * *

Sweat trickled down Shuichi's face as he dropped down to his knees on the carpet floor. He didn't try to hide the fact that he was panting heavily, nor did he try to deny that he was tired. It had been too long since he had such a vigorous work out, but then, who would dance with Ryuichi for three hours and not be tired in the end? He did work out on a regular, but not for three hours straight. Hell, he didn't even have to dance for three hours straight at a concert. When a cold bottle of water was thrust into his hands, he took it greedily. After practically ripping the lid off, he chugged the whole thing in one go.

"Careful, I wouldn't want you to choke," Ryuichi panted out with a chuckle.

When he set the empty bottle down, Shuichi wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Sorry." He looked at the older singer who was sitting next to him on the floor. The look in Ryuichi's eyes didn't hold the same playfulness that his voice had held—it was one of a predator watching its prey. Shuichi swallowed hard and tingles ran down his spine. Nervous, he directed his attention elsewhere while trying to regulate his breathing—anywhere was better than that hungry gaze.

Formerly unimportant, the walls became very interesting to the singer of Bad Luck. At first, he looked to the walls by means of purely acting like he was distracted, but he wasn't prepared to find that the pictures that he had barely paid attention to earlier were of him throughout his career. Sure other pictures popped up occasionally, but his face dominated the wall. A hand going through his damp hair stole the attention from the various pictures, sending it to the older singer. Shuichi tried to resist the urge to flinch from the touch again, turning questioning amethyst eyes on the male. His heartbeat continued beating at a fast rate, but he doubted that it was from the dancing anymore.

"I miss the pink hair. It was vibrant, and it suited you well." Ryuichi pulled his fingers through the strands, retrieving his hand.

Trying to hide the pink shade to his cheeks, Shuichi turned away. He should really get going, things just weren't right here anymore. Besides, the emptiness that he felt earlier had increased by tenfold, and he couldn't stop thinking about how Yuki was doing. It was ironic, he couldn't wait to get away from Yuki, but now that he was away from the guy, he couldn't help but want to be with the guy. A hand cupped his chin, turning his face toward Ryuichi.

"Don't do that, Shu. You don't have to hide your face from me. I think that pink cheeks suit you."

Shuichi leaned out of his idol's grasp. This just wasn't regular friendliness that he had tried to tell himself that it was before. No, this was deeper. If he didn't know any better, he would have assumed that Ryuichi was hitting on him, but that couldn't be it, right? If that was the case… no, that wasn't the case. But, if it was, then could being in a relationship with the older singer possibly work? Yeah, the guy was amazing, his idol, gorgeous, charismatic, and overall fun, but he had never thought of Ryuichi like _that_. Besides, he had just come to terms with his sexuality. Was it strictly for Yuki, or could he actually date other guys, too? He shook his head to dispel the thoughts. Ryuichi was just overly friendly, that's all.

"What's on your mind?" Ryuichi whispered in the younger singer's ear.

Shuichi tensed up, and then tried to secretly scoot away from the male. He was not comfortable at all. "Eh, nothing."

"You looked pretty thoughtful to be thinking nothing, Shu. I've read people for a long time, and I can easily tell that you were deep in thought."

Shuichi exhaled a large breath of air. This was not good at all. He couldn't just keep assuming that Ryuichi liked him, he needed a definite answer. Closing his eyes and ignoring that his conscience yelling at him, he asked, "Ryuichi, how to you feel about me?"

"I can show you better than I can tell you."

Holding himself back from telling his idol that the line he just used was way too overused, Shuichi resulted in turning to give Ryuchi a what-the-hell look. "But you said that I should listen to my heart and make up my mind before I lose what is precious to me. Weren't you talking about Yuki?"

"That was what was on my mind about you at the time, I accidentally let it slip, and you misinterpreted the meaning because of my bad timing."

"So you lik—" Ryuichi's lips pressed into his, silencing him midsentence. The kiss was soft, yet demanding. Both of Ryuichi's hands found their way into his hair, pulling Shuichi's body against his own. Shuichi could feel the muscles of Ryuichi's torso pressed against his own.

The singer of Bad Luck wanted to give into the kiss, but something wasn't right. Unlike the times that he and Yuki recently kissed, Shuichi's mind went into overdrive instead of freezing. He felt like he was cheating on Yuki. No, they weren't together, but that was besides the fact. Also, he felt nothing—well, besides the fan boy side of him that was gushing with joy from getting somewhat physical with his idol. With Yuki, there was electricity, and it felt like his body was weightless, floating even. With Ryuichi there was… guilt. The type of guilt where you had someone else in mind, and you were betraying them.

Just as he was about to put his hands on Ryuichi's chest to push him away, a crash resonated through the room. His head snapped to the front door to investigate the noise, and his eyes met the very angry, very golden eyes of his current houseguest. He felt even guiltier that he was caught in the act of doing something that his conscience told him not to do by the person he didn't want to see, no less. Shuichi opened his mouth to give an explanation but decided against it, closing it. Yuki wasn't his father, so he shouldn't have to answer to him—at least that is what he told himself.

"Get your ass in the car, _now_!" Yuki glared into ashamed amethyst ones.

Without any snide remarks or arguments, Shuichi refused to look at Ryuichi and got up from the floor. When he walked over to the door to put his shoes on, he could feel the anger emanating from Yuki. Normally, he wouldn't give a flying fuck about anyone being mad at him, but this time was different. It was like his temporary submissiveness was fueled by his unknown guilt. As he slipped his second shoe on and started out of the condo, Ryuichi's voice stopped him.

"I had fun, Shu, I hope that we can do this again."

Shuichi froze in place, knowing that Ryuichi's words weren't helping his situation. He then proceeded to go to the car, trying to block out Yuki's voice. Damn, tonight was going to be a long night. Then again, why was he supposed to care again? He barely knew this Yuki guy who randomly popped into his life, claiming to be his ex. Still, despite the logic, he felt like shit.

* * *

Yuki watched as Shuichi got in the car. When the door closed, he turned to Ryuichi with all of the hatred that he could muster. Without bothering to take off his shoes, he stalked into the older male's condo, advancing on the relaxed looking singer who regarded him with bored eyes. With both of his hands, he grabbed Ryuichi by his sweaty t-shirt and snatched him to his feet. "What the fuck did you think that you were doing with Shuichi? Have you lost your damn mind?"

Wearing a stoic expression, Ryuichi glanced down at Yuki's shoes, and then glared up at the male. "You didn't take off your shoes. And I suggest that you removed your hands from my person before I do it for you." Ryuichi's glare turned into a dangerous one. "For the record, since you didn't get the memo, Shuichi is _single_. He won't be for long, though. I _will_ win his heart." With one arm, he slapped the younger male's hands off of him.

"His heart belongs to me. This is your only warning, Sakuma. Back the fuck off. And the next time that you draw penises all over my car, I will wring your fucking neck."

"I may have immature tendencies, but I'm not _that_ immature. And you heed my warning, Uesugi. The next time that you barge into my place, you will be leaving in a body bag. Shuichi is not yours, and once he remembers the things that you did to him, he will be in my arms. Now, get the hell outta my place."

"No."

Ryuichi narrowed his eyes. "What was that?"

"Hard of hearing? I said—"

"Hello, Ryuichi… oh, Eiri, I didn't know that you were here," Touma greeted, taking his shoes off at the door. "How did this lock get broken on your door?"

Not wanting to deal with his brother-in-law, Yuki turned and pushed by Touma, barely noting the fact that Tatsuha was standing behind the older male. He had to get the hell away from the bunny-loving freak before he murdered the male. When his younger brother called after him with a greeting, he replied with a go to hell before getting in his car and slamming the door behind him.

Without so much as a word to his passenger, he started the engine and backed up without looking for others cars or pedestrians. When he was on the road, he exceeded the speed limit more than a little. He didn't care, though. All he wanted to do was to get himself and Shuichi away from Ryuichi.

When he was several blocks away from the bunny-lover's place, his mind wandered to what he had seen when he busted into the condominium. Nothing in the world could have prepared him for the image of Shuichi kissing someone else. It felt like his heart was being carved out and stomped on. He would never utter it out loud, but he was heartbroken. Memories or not, didn't Shuichi know that he shouldn't have done it? Did the younger male not feel anything for him at all?

Like the times in his past when something occurred that was too much to handle, Yuki reverted back into being an emotionless prick. After burying his emotions somewhere deep down, he added more pressure to the gas pedal.

* * *

Moments later, Yuki and Shuichi were taking their shoes off at Shuichi's place. Before Shuichi had a chance to disappear, Yuki voice cause him to pause.

"You enjoy doing this to me, don't you?" The novelist closed the front door and locked it, advancing on Shuichi. When the younger male looked at him without saying anything, he slammed both hands on the wall beside both sides of Shuichi's face. "You just love seeing how far that you can take it until you make me snap—first with the constant outbursts and storming out on me, then with this. You don't like me when I'm being a gentleman, so I guess I'll just have to be an asshole."

"Get away from me! Move!" Shuichi slammed his palms against Yuki's chest in an attempt to get free; however, the novelist didn't budge.

"You should have been saying that to that freak. Tell me, does he kiss better than me? Did you initiate it or did he?"

Not wanting to turn into a mass of apologies like he felt like doing, Shuichi said, "I wanted to see if he was any good." The bad-ass façade should get the novelist to leave him alone for a time.

After studying the younger male, Yuki let out a humorless chuckle. "Even after all of this time, you still suck at lying." With his right arm, he wrapped it around the younger male and harshly closed the gap between their lips, forcefully grinding his hips into Shuichi's. He needed this, not only to alleviate his anger, but to also assure himself that Shuichi was here with him and not with Ryuichi. No more than a second had passed when he found that the roles had changed, and his back was being slammed against the wall by a ravenous black-haired male.

**Chapter End**

What do you think of this chapter? Too long? Too short? Too crazy? Not crazy enough? Remember, reviews tell me that I have to stay up late and write chapters while still going to college five days a week and coming home with tons of homework.


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